Sat 7 Jul 2007
How Many Hail Marys for This?
Posted by cindy under Cilly Stuff , Mental States , Work Crap at 6:03 pm[9] Comments
My coworker’s mother’s funeral this morning was a very nice Catholic mass service, complete with the counting of the rosary as an opening. Having virtually no Catholic exposure, I was surprised that the rosary went on that long, cuz I’d always thought when priests told sinners to say 3 “Hail Marys” to forgive sins (like in jokes), it was simply “Hail Mary, hail Mary, hail Mary. Yay, I’m forgiven.” Sitting through the very ritualistic practices of mass, I was aware that orthodox Catholics would find it a huge trespass for me to have sinful thoughts or participate in disrespectful behavior, especially while I sat there as a guest in the House of God. And of course, my brain (because it is, after all, MY brain) displayed a most unorthodox image in my head during all the sitting and standing then sitting then standing prayers and responses. When the priest said after a prayer, “You may sit,” and the congregation backed their bodies down onto the wooden bench, I pictured myself sitting on a large phallic protrusion coming out the center of my seat so that it strategically would create a huge sin. As soon as the absurd image entered my mind’s eye, I shoved it out in horror. “What is WRONG with you?!” I chastised my rebellious brain.
After the service was over, I stood with some coworkers and my judge. My judge revealed that as a boy, he’d attended a private Catholic school and the service today took him back to memories of that childhood, when he was always terrified of accidentally having an impure thought while in the church and going straight to hell. So it’s not just me. There’s something about what you’re not allowed to do, that makes human nature just do it. Or at least think about it. Well, if I can’t control my thoughts, at least I can control my actions. I would’ve knocked that phallus away from me, dirty unwanted thing! Yeah.
I know very little about the Catholic religion. I used to work for a couple when I was 16 that was Catholic. They would often cook me dinner. By the time I quit I almost had the dinner prayer memorized. It seems very un-emotional and lacks feeling. That’s just me tho. Dirty/Bad/Evil thoughts in church…well…I’d just have to watch my actions I suppose.
Wow those are some naughty thoughts you had in church!!!
Flat Coke – That’s what Mr. W (prior goody-goody altar boy) said. That the words have become chants that are meaningless to the chanters, and that ironically, it means more to non-Catholics who are hearing the recitations for the first time and therefore make a point of trying to understand their meaning.
James – thanks for understanding the point of the post.
we truly are related..
and…
I’m going to have to tell mom this
What’re you gonna say? “Cindy and I have the same thoughts when we’re in a Catholic church”?
Haha! That is funny! My grandma used to do the entire rosary everyday, so when she passed the preist did it and it was too funny…he started to dozz off when he was saying it.
see? words = meaningless.
You should see all the crap I used to do and talk about as an altar boy in church. Definitely wasn’t holy. When you’re used to it, it doesn’t quite as effective as when you’re brand new to things.
really? like what crap? 😀