I keep looking to my medical provider’s “award-winning” website to see if my lab results are updated. I want more info on the (abnormal) pap smear. But nope, nothing new. Everything currently posted shows me as the posterchild for health. For example…

The National Institute of Health (NIH) has these guidelines for cholesterol scores.
Total Cholesterol
* High: 240 milligrams per deciliter of blood or above
* Borderline High: 200-239
* Desirable: under 200
ME: 181 mg/dL
LDL (l0w-density, or “bad” cholesterol)
* Very High: 190 and above
* High: 160-189
* Borderline High: 130-159
* Near Optimal: 100-129
* Optimal: less than 100; less than 70 if you have heart disease
ME: 99 calculated, no history of heart disease in the family
HDL (high-density, or “good” cholesterol)
* Major Risk Factor for Heart Disease: under 50 for women; under 40 for men
* Higher Would Be Better: 41 to 59
* Protects Against Heart Disease: 60 or above
ME: 75
Triglyercides
* Very High: 500 or above
* High: 200-499
* Borderline High: 150-199
* Normal: less than 150
ME: 33

My cholesterol/HDL ratio: 2.4 (according to my mom, 3 is normal, and your risk for heart disease increases the higher your number). And I blame my high LDL on the fact that I had Nutella crepes with lots of whipped cream late the night before.