I’m in Vegas doing the same Thanksgiving I’ve done in the past 2 years. Mr. W’s brother came to Thanksgiving dinner this time with the XBox360 game “Rock Band” in tow. Remember how hooked I got on “Guitar Hero” last year? Well, this is two guitars (one bass guitar), a microphone for karaoke AND a drum set. The drums even have a foot pedal. Man, this game is harder! It demands more precision on when you hit the notes on the guitar parts; a millisecond off and you don’t get the point. The drums are tricky because you have to hit in the center of each drum and there are 4 drums, plus foot, and you’ve got 2 hands and 2 drumsticks. I’ve always secretly thought I could be a drummer cuz I have rhythm, and it turns out that’s not nearly enough for this game. Oh well. Needless to say, the house was noisy that night.

The day after Thanksgiving (Friday), I was enjoying a leftover turkey leg, and commenting on how meat just tastes better on a stick. It’s good fun to pull chunks of turkey off a bone to eat. And then I had an idea. Christmas should be on a stick! We can have candlesticks lit, roast marshmallows on a stick in the fireplace or a firepit, have candied apples on a stick, eat shish-kabobs, popsicles, lollipops, celebrate our savior-on-a-stick (I know, eternal hellfire). Even the Christmas tree: needles on a stick. Maybe I can expand on the stick thing and pour leftover candied apple caramel on myself and make things stick to me. I can refuse to stick to a diet but yap at everyone else’s diets like I had a stick up my butt. And when I get attacked for that, I’d have to stick up for myself all by myself. The stress would make me lose weight and get sick all over again, and I’d become a stick figure.

Stick holidays. Could happen.