Jordan’s recent post complaining about her body mass index (BMI) inspired me to start digging through my desk drawer in search of my BMI chart. I didn’t find it, but instead got lost in a flood of emails I’d printed out and retained.

Through a particularly tortured period of my life, I’d printed out email conversations between my friends and I that were inspiring or comforting, because I want the wise words for future reference and I want never to forget the time and love gifted to me. The following is an excerpt from a 6-pager:

Me: What I really want, and what I’ve always wanted, is to know that if I’m tired, like I am right now, when I can’t think straight and I can’t deal, that I can just lean my head on someone’s lap and trust him to take care of me while I took a break. To trust that if I let go, he would not let the sky collapse on me. That when I’m ready to deal with things again, I can awake refreshed, be greeted by his smile, and I’d know that things are okay. Why is that so impossible to find?
Friend: I think that this is what most people are seeking. They want someone that they can trust, that they can go back to at the end of the day, they want someone who they can let their guard down and not be afraid of being taken advantage of. For me, I think that this is a large part of what love is all about.
And why is it so impossible to find? I tell people (and myself) that the thing about love is that you only really have to get it right once in your life. And once you get it right, you’re set for life. It’s the beauty about of love is that once you do get it right, you don’t ever have to worry about it again. This kind of love may be hard to find, but I think it’s well worth the wait. I know that I want to love someone so completely and have that love returned that I’m not willing to compromise when it comes to people I date. Now, this might make me a little lonely and a lot single for a long time, but the way I see it is, I don’t think that I would be happy any other way.

The email was from June 16, 2005. And I have since then found that person I was writing about wanting to find. And my friend who wrote me the words of encouragement has not only found his person now, but married her. Neither of us at the time were dating these people we are with now, but we would be within months unbeknownst to us then.

I feel compelled to note that I don’t think what my friend meant in the above exerpt was that once you find the right person for you, everything will be honky dory with no effort from you and you can just be a lazy slob and take no responsibility for the relationship. But I think with the right person, your efforts aren’t wasted; they, along with your love, are reciprocated and nurtured.

Thanks, Mike/’Wilco’! (Bet he thought I wasn’t going to give him credit. Or maybe he doesn’t even remember writing that.)