I’m up again. I fell asleep fairly early in front of the TV, and woke up to a cosmetic informercial that was somewhat interesting to me, so I watched it. Then I figured I may as well be productive, so I vacuumed and I’m now about to do my taxes.

I’m gonna miss these nights when I’m up all by myself and know I’m not bothering anyone if I move around the house and do chores. Dodo doesn’t seem to mind, although when I first came upstairs I saw that he’d already gone to bed. He popped his head up to look at me from inside his cat bed when I brought the vacuum upstairs.

I’m being a crappy girlfriend, but I’ve had it up to HERE (*throwing my hand waaaay up in the air…sorta waving it, you know, like I just don’t care*) with all the drama surrounding Mr. W. The poison-tipped arrows his ex-wife shoots at him, angrily speculating that his (perceived) happiness entitles her to his money, and successfully taking it out of our (his and my) immediate and distant future together, and although my hands are tied in the matter, touching Mr. W means I absorb the poison into my own life. Which is probably what the ex-wife wants. Some people find their purpose helping others; others find their obsession and purpose in ruining their ex’s lives and futures. I think it really sucks that California is a no-fault state when it comes to divorce. I think when people end their marriage by, oh, say, having affairs and a KID with another man whom they eventually leave their spouse for, they should not only forfeit any stake in the marital assets, but CERTAINLY not be entitled to future financial compensation for the rest of their lives. What’s to stop immoral users like these from just marrying anyone with some money for a few years and then screwing them over, leaving them, and then you just collect free money forevermore? Hell, why not get married a few more times, and then multi-task and suck the lives out of 4, 5, 6 men at a time? Fuck them all. I was REALLY trying to see things from her side for a long time, but after this most recent stint of events, I’ve had it. People who don’t have custody of their children should not be getting child support money.

I’m happy, HAPPY, to be home. Alone. Away. This is my vacation. Now if I could only get a professional massage therapist to come over and relieve the physical manifestations of my stress from my muscles. Assuming my lack of gymming the past week and a half hasn’t dissolved them all (muscles, not masseuses).

P.S. I can’t shake the guilt. I feel like I’m being selfish by wanting no part of this, like I should be more supportive even tho it’s not my problem and I didn’t cause nor create it. But then this other self-preservation part of me gets angry for having to deal with this at all, BECAUSE it’s not my past mistake, it’s not my current baggage, but I’m paying for it, too. I guess when you want to reap the emotional benefits of a man with relationship experience, you gotta take the doo-doo, too.