Thu 21 Feb 2008
So I grabbed my voluminous buffalo chicken wrap off my desk as soon as the jurors were situated in the courtroom, and dodged out into my judge’s chambers and proceeded to stuff my face on his couch. Because of the width and size of this wrap, and how drippy it got toward the end what with the chopped lettuce and red buffalo sauce, I got red stuff all over my face burning my cheeks and lips, and I was aware of the sauce touching my nose, too. And there I was looking like a carnivorous wild animal eating another wild animal, when a horrible thought occured to me.
What if they take one of many sidebar discussions that they’ve been having, right now? I could just imagine the judge, court reporter, and both attorneys walking into chambers for a sidebar argument and stopping short, seeing my hunched over form on his couch with red stuff all over the place, chopped tomatoes and chicken falling from my open mouth. There’s no recovering from that. So I wrapped up the bundle of mess in the wrapper and dodged into the hallway bathroom.
As soon as I entered the second room of the restroom that contained a small table, a chair, the sink and stall, I froze again, and thought, “Oh shit. I’m pulling a Dardy.” I imagined all the poo and pee molecules that came out of coworkers floating in the air around me, adhering onto my chicken wrap.
And I quickly ate it all up and came back in the courtroom.
great, now u got me hungrier than i was!
Nice.
a – the bathroom munching did it for you, huh? haha. Oh wait. That sounds excessively inappropriate.
Vicky – =D
the difference between you and dardy is that you probably sat at the table while eating. dardy would have eaten while squatting over the toilet. stray pieces of lettuce would have fallen down his pant leg and drips of red sauce would have stained his socks =P
You know, I am sure a lot of people have had a meal or finished a bite while in the bathroom. Glad that you didn’t get caught in the judge’s cambers.
flip flop – That’s a good point. I was leaning into the table with the wrapper on the tabletop catching all the drips and falling clumps. I made sure to stay away from the stall. I wonder if Dardy has seen this post yet.
Vanessa – You think? Why, have YOU finished a bite while in the bathroom? And if you have, did any irony strike you that you’re putting food in one end as ex-food leaves from the other end?
dude. i am not going to *purposely* go into the stall to eat. it was an emergency! 🙂 a neat one, though.
yeah, but your next post talked about what a great relaxing experience it was to eat your meal in a public restroom stall, so it sorta implies you’d do it again for the peacefulness. haha!