Tue 22 Apr 2008
One of the female radio personalities on the talk radio station I listen to every morning is getting married, so the topic was on bachelorette/bachelor parties. “When I see a group of women together and one of them is wearing a white veil and all of them are sucking on straws shaped like penises, I think that’s DISGUSTING.” Haha. Agreed. Her male cohost and special guest Tom Arnold thought it’d be brilliant to scare her and tell her what REALLY goes on in the bachelor’s parties.
1) Bachelor’s parties out, like in a club, strip club, or Vegas, include strippers and hence multiple lap dances. Since it’s the bachelor’s friends who *really* want the party cuz they want to break free from their mundane married lives for a night, they’re going to INSIST on strippers, pay for lap dances, and heckle the bachelor and shun him forever if he is not amenable to the debauchery. (To this I roll my eyes and think, “Great friends. Who’s the night really about, anyway?” Good thing Mr. W’s best man is his 18 yr old son who’s not old enough to get into a strip joint even if the boy WERE crazy enough to want to see nekkid women gyrating on his DAD. Ew.) Occasionally the guys find a place seedy enough for a higher level of cheating to occur in the back room given enough money exchanging hands, but this is less common than…
2) Bachelor parties in. Strippers hired to come to the house and do their thing in a private residence are WAY worse than in a club where there are laws and regulations that most strip clubs follow. It is apparently not uncommon for strippers to start off in the living room and end up in the bedroom. Tom Arnold said the bachelor usually ends up naked duct-taped to a chair with whipped cream all over him. Sexy…not.
3) The level of stripper. Apparently there are different “rankings” or levels of strippers. Like prostitutes, you have the upscale $10K “escort” managed by a madame who’ll travel with you and cost you your government office *nudge*, and you have the call-girls for $200 that you phone an agency to arrange to arrive at your house for an hour, and you have the street walker who stands at a corner and will give you a quickie in your car for $15. In strippers, the pretty ones are the ones with standards about what they’re willing to do and typically don’t do anything overly risque, and the ugly ones you see at the strip club — the ones you look at and think, “WTF is SHE doing here?!” — are the ones who secretly make bank for their complete and total availability and willingness to do whatever you want. Cuz they have to compete with the pretty high-demand ones somehow. Tom Arnold goes on to say, “The stripper’s got head issues anyway, and you take an unattractive one who all she has is this job, and you’re about to embark on a beautiful lifelong journey with someone…if the groom’s remotely good-looking, she’s gonna be all over him doing whatever it takes.” Women and their competitive catty naked egos. *sigh*
I’m glad I’m marrying Mr. W. None of this garbage is going to be an issue. At least, that was something he’d used to woo me, saying I need to be with a man like him who’s not interested in doing all that immature guy stuff like bachelor parties and strippers and club/bar-hopping. *crossing fingers*
Oh … so what your saying is we should order the stripper for Mr. W cuz his son can’t???
JUST KIDDING!!!!
You’re UNinvited! You and whomever else “we” is.
Actually, my opinion on prewedding debauchery is that if you really want that whole night of sin, you’re not ready to be married, and/or you’re not marrying the right person (i.e. you don’t truly love/respect the person you’re about to pledge the rest of your faithful life to).
Well, this story is coming from Tom Arnold…
In either case, I don’t think you would be dating someone who was into that kind of stuff anyway. If a guy was remotely into that you would sense it and dump him (like that last annoying guy…).
As Jordan would say, “Tru dat.” I do have this hairline trigger for that kinda stuff now, or whatever you call those triggers. Maybe I should say a mercury switch.
I was just emailing Adam back, saying “The bachelor party thing actually came up (not brought up by me) when we were in Vegas at an ice cream parlor with [Mr. W’s] parents, brother, and bro’s wife. Everyone in his family feels that the ‘bachelor’s last hurrah’ bachelor party is hypocritical to the institution of marriage/engagement. I sat there and listened and thought, ‘Now THIS is the family to marry into!’ “
agreed – the whole bachelor/bachelorette parties are so lame and in the end, just an ‘excuse to party’…. I’ve always been embarrassed to attend them.
Most of my buddies who have gotten married do the golf, BBQ, or low key event. always a nice idea…
That’s super cool that Mr W’s son is the best man!!!
You’ve attended bachelor’s parties? Yeah, my friends do the BBQ, guys’ adventure trips (white water rafting, scuba diving, deep sea fishing), stuff like that. That sounds like cool and respectable male bonding time. In the radio program, you can tell the girl is uncomfortable about this cuz she’s put in a difficult situation of not WANTING to seem uncool to the fiance’s friends and being concerned about strippers, but yet she’s uncomfortable about the whole thing. Who wouldn’t be? And yet men try to coerce women into turning a blind eye by saying we’re “insecure”, “petty” or “immature” if we don’t like it, and that we must not trust them or we’d be okay with it. Well, if a guy insists on having naked women rub themselves on him even tho his future wife feels strongly against it, then HE’S being petty and immature, and why SHOULD we trust someone who’s decided it’s more important to have this stripper than to start off the marriage with some peace of mind?
I’m sure there are women who truly are at peace with it, and if that’s the case, then fine, the guy isn’t creating conflict w/a bachelor party. But I think more often than not, the woman is forcing themselves to be okay with something they’re really not okay with, just to keep from seeming “uncool” or “prudish.” Or they’re afraid of their man.
Call me ol’ fashion, but I believe the bachelor party is part of a fine tradition! The party is more for the groomsmen than the groom anyway. It seems almost selfish to me for a groom to deny his buddies one last wild party on his behalf. I’m still made a Steve for denying us his bachelor party. >:-{
Bat had a friend get married last year. They planned a bachelor party. Come the night before the wedding…only two of the guys showed up…at a hotel…down by the pool…with a 6 pack from the local gas station. Apparently none of the wives/future wives would “allow” their men to possibly get in trouble. I think if a man wants a stripper show the wife/girlfriend should be adventous and just go with him. Of course that always turns into the stripper showing the wife/girlfriend more attention than the man!! ha
Good thing I was kidding, huh? I am cool with a bachelor party, but would prefer they go to a strip club rather then the stripper coming to the house/hotel/motel, wherever! My friend recently had a co-ed party where the guys and girls went to a female strip club. I have heard of co-ed parties before, but not ones where they go to the club together. To each their own, I guess.
Dwaine – you and I had already talked about this before…
1) You’re coming from a single man’s perspective, AND a single man who’s currently a free agent. No one would be offended or hurt if you went to a strip club tonight. Except maybe your stalker neighbor. *snicker*
2) Whose “ol’ fashion” tradition is a bachelor party? Did your DAD and GRANDFATHER have bachelor parties? Is it a Jamaican thing? Are you gonna raise a barn and jump over a broomstick on your wedding night, too? It’s also a tradition for Chinese girls to live at home with their parents until they’re wedded, but that’s not right for me and my situation, so you don’t see me doing it. Besides, the current trend (which will form its own tradition) is to do adventure-style bachelor/bachelorette parties. And we KNOW you’re trendy.
3) I agree, a bachelor party IS more for the groomsmen. Hence, all of those individual groomsmen can go to strip clubs on their own time if that’s what they want to do, heck, they can go every night, but there’s no reason to drag their buddy (groom) down into the mud with them when their buddy is just about to start a new (clean) life w/someone he’s supposed to be in love with, just cuz they want a partner in crime. You single guys should’ve had a “wild party” without Steve on Steve’s behalf, if you wanted it so bad. You can still have one now! Raise a glass to him while you’re there.
Flat Coke – I’ve known girl friends who’ve gone to strip clubs with their men. It was mutually consensual. That’s when you say “to each their own.” The issue here is conflict. If there’s no conflict, fine; if there IS, you gotta consider whether a stripper sitting on your lap whom you’re handing household money to is so important to you that you’re willing to sacrifice a large chunk of family trust, respect, peace. I personally don’t think the scale is balanced.
busykitty – A co-ed strip joint romp? That’s a new one on me, too. But if both sides are cool with it, then yup, “to each their own.” I’d personally be way uncomfortable at a strip club already with some guy gyrating in my face, but to have some guy fake-pump me in front of my MAN? *gag*
um – i just don’t like to think about these things and pretend they don’t happen.
*ears in fingers*
LA LA LA LA LA LA
*handing Anny a pretty flower to distract her*
HEY!! I JUST remembered I dreamt about you and Vicky last nite! Turned out Vicky started a blog, was only on her day 2 post, except she didn’t tell me about it. I found out about it from an email you sent me which had Vicky’s link in it accidentally, you may have innocently forwarded me something else from Vicky and it was in there, but I was all confused as to why she would have this blog and not tell me (altho she was okay with you knowing), like was she gonna write crap in it about ME? So I decided not to tell her I knew about her blog, and spy on its contents instead. 😀
Nice.