Day 5: BEEF AND TOMATOES. You may have 10-20 ounces of beef and a can of tomatoes or as many as 6 fresh tomatoes on this day. Try to drink at least 6-9 glasses of water this day to wash away the uric aid in your body. Eat the soup at least once this day.

I started off the morning with a glass of water and followed with the veggie soup. I mean, the alternative is beef and no way I’m having red meat for breakfast, especially when I haven’t had any for almost a week. For lunch I cooked about 10 ounces of sirloin beef on the George Foreman grill, and only seasoned it with a dry barbecue seasoning rub (sea salt, dehydrated garlic, onion, carrot, chive, spices). The seasoning tasted SO GOOD. The meat did not. It tasted so gamey to me, and I’m not sure if it’s bad meat or maybe my tastebuds just sensitized from the week of bland vegan food. I opened a can of stewed tomatoes, ate a piece and made an involuntary “yuck” face. It was like eating sugared mushed tomatoes. I checked the ingredients and sure enough, the second ingredient is high fructose corn syrup. Why does everything have sugar in it?! I never noticed because I’d never eaten so blandly for so long before. I managed to eat half the can and switched to eating a fresh tomato, which was much better.

For dinner, Mr. W grilled another 6 ounces of the same sirloin beef for me in a pan and this time it was more tender than it was on the George Foreman grill, but it had the same gamey flavor. I ate the other half can of stewed sugared tomatoes, and chugged water. I watched enviously as Mr. W blended himself a banana smoothie. Mid-steak, I started having the meat sweats. Pretty gross. Mr. W suggested we take a walk and we took a very brisk 3 miler. On the way we passed by a playground, and I said, “I wonder if I can do a pull-up now.” I hung off the pull-up bar and applied pressure to my biceps. To my utter surprise, my body quickly lifted. I dropped off the bar after the pull-up, figuring I’ll stop while I’m ahead. Mr. W proceeded to show me up. Whatever. I think kicking your feet for momentum is cheating, anyway.

When we got back from the walk, I checked my cell phone and saw that I’d missed a call while we were out. It was my friend Erin, whose message included this little gem: “I saw on your blog that you’re doing the cabbage soup diet thing. It looked like you’re on day 5 or day 6. I just wanted to tell you that I did it…and I didn’t lose any weight.” GAH! Why didn’t I know this earlier?! Altho once Vanessa told me this was the infamous Cabbage Soup Diet, I lost all faith in it cuz I don’t believe in fad diets. I did weigh myself today — no change from yesterday. It’s basically just self-inflicted torture for nothing.

I did take a picture of myself today for show n’ tell. I guess it would’ve helped if I’d taken “before” pictures, but oh well.

This lame-ass picture with the obstructive flash was the best I could do. No matter how many lights I turned on, I could not get the flash to not go off. I couldn’t take the flash off, either, cuz then the shutter stayed open too long and I can’t hold the camera steady enough for it to not be totally blurry. I don’t know how to get the shutter speed to go fast AND not have flash. Whateverz.

I’ve also just noticed that Mr. W’s bathroom mirror is pretty dirty.