Sun 10 Aug 2008
Man, moving was rough. I packed for 8 consecutive days and moved stuff from house to house for the last 4 of those days. I have learned that
* packing is probably the worst home life chore ever;
* you can’t fill a big box with fragile stuff, books, tons of small stuff, or heavy stuff;
* heavy stuff have to be split up into small boxes;
* you have to pack boxes according to weight and durability and not according to category, even tho it’s instinctive to put all “bathroom stuff” into one giant box;
* oil lamps always tip over;
* I have chosen my sister-friends well and they came through big time.
Last Friday after work (day 2 of packing), Gym Trainee picked up her son and came over after work and packed much of my kitchen for me, which is great cuz I have no idea how to pack oddly shaped glassware and pots and pans. Then over the weekend, Busykitty Vanessa came over to help pack the remaining kitchen stuff and some of the other rooms, but first she brought over a light dinner of multi-grain tortilla chips, salsa, a couple of apples, some containers of cut melon medleys, a container of cut pineapple, a pack of mixed nuts, 2 bottles of water, and last but not least, a drum of mint chocolate cookie ice cream. We got to chat and catch up before we got to work. I dumped three giant trashbagfuls of stuffed animals and two bags of clothes on her; the stuffed animals were for her niece Lizzy and the clothes were to send back to Costa Rica with her aunts to give to the poor (which they do regularly on their visits back). I got rid of as much stuff as possible because Mr. W had already pre-scolded me repeatedly about not bringing “clutter” and “useless shit” to the new house. Monday, Vicky came over and traded me a small pepperoni pizza for the remainder of the ice cream (since I couldn’t eat that much ice cream before I had to move on Tuesday), and helped me pack my many many books and random leftover things upstairs. After moving all the larger items and heavier stuff like furniture on Tuesday, there were still little things at the house I could move on my own but couldn’t get done. Hence started the many little trips back to the house after work to pack some more. Each trip back, I’d thought would be my last; each time I kept finding more stuff, I contemplated suicide more graphically. I packed and transported carfuls of stuff EVERY DAY this past week until the final trip on Friday, when Vanessa again came over for the third time. She’d come over to pick up more things I’m giving away to her and her relatives on Thursday night, stayed to help me pack, and on Friday, she emptied out her SUV and we left a ton of stuff at my front door for a Salvation Army pick-up I’d scheduled for Monday, left some odd furniture in the living room the future renters may want, and made the long drive to the new house. Turns out the new house is totally in Vanessa’s neck of the woods as she works around the corner and regularly visits the shopping area visible from our back yard for lunch.
Today was spent unpacking. At least half the boxes in the garage are gone now and their contents distributed around the house. There were lots of disagreements between me and the W about stuff, cuz like Vicky said, when you’re consolidating two households of stuff, the general perception is “My stuff is stuff, and your stuff is shit.” He basically wanted me to throw all my stuff away and have only his stuff, whereas I feel that his shit, especially his silverware and drinkware, are ugly. He kept calling my stuff “cheap” and I told him my Oneida service for 12 flatware is NICE (looks similar to this) and HIS multi-colored, cracked plastic giant drinking cups are tacky. But he insisted on keeping his plastic “glassware”, throwing away my plastic sink rinse/cutting board combo and keeping my nice service for 10 squared drinking glasses and matching rocks glasses unopened so that we can “get rid of them.” He’d simultaneously used the opposite excuse of plastic being unacceptable and cheap to get rid of others of my belongings, like my Sharper Image DVD Power Tower.
But living together with a man for the first time (who isn’t my temporary roommate) had its surprising and unexpected advantages, too. For example, by the time I started moving in, Mr. W had already called the electrical, gas and water companies and set up our accounts; made arrangements for cable TV/cable internet/phone service to be installed; and arranged for our moving crew and U-Haul truck. I’m sure that once we get over this adjustment period of trying to fit into each others’ day-to-day lives and tastes, and he stops saying insulting things like pointedly saying that I’m to be in the kitchen and cooking for him and then the next moment say that it’s “his” kitchen and that his way goes while my way is rejected, and that I “never” cook, we’ll be fine. Or he’ll just tick me off and I really will make his “never cook” proclamations a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Oh, almost forgot. The Dodo. His first night was pretty bad; he was needy and up all night making noise, trying to dig a hole underneath the doorway into the closet. I finally couldn’t take the noise anymore as it was keeping me up so I kicked him out of our bedroom and closed the bedroom door. The exact same noise, the scratching and digging and yowling and pushing, simply transferred to this new door. He hid in the only closet I’d allow him in, an empty one in our master bathroom, for the entirety of the next day, leaving only to go to his litter box downstairs a couple of times. But now he’s fine; his tail’s up and he’s cheerily exploring the house and hanging out with us downstairs in the living room, sprawling on his side on the cool tile floors.
This house is coming together pretty nicely, altho I think Mr. W’s fear is coming true that it’s going to look cluttered due to the quantity of stuff we have and the small space we have to put it in. He’s now stopped opening boxes and is letting a bunch of them stand in the garage, saying that if the house is full now, he must not need anything in those remaining boxes, threatening to discard them without looking to see what they contain. I had to throw out some very difficult and personal things (I’m a total sentimentalist), and I don’t want to go through that again. It was fun having Vicky packing up old mementos with me because we go so far back that we have a lot of the same memories. I can’t imagine having all of those old tokens gone forever.
I’m sure Mr. W would not like this, but if you have old mementos you would prefer to keep, perhaps you could rent out a Public Storage room to keep your stuff (as opposed to shit). It would give you some time to slowly decide what to keep and what to throw away. Buffer zones, you know.
Glad to hear Dodo is doing better! I hope your doors don’t have scratch marks on them.
Moving in with a man is lots of fun (insert sarcastic “ahem” here). I was fortunate in that without me asking, my man threw tons of his “shit” into the dumpster before he even showed up at the apartment. Couches, mattresses, tableware… all gone! He only has one banker’s box of “mementos.” He also understands that eventually, all of his “shit” will be replaced by new items *I* decide to buy. Haha.
This is all part of the exciting adventure you are embarking on called “marriage.” You guys will do fine!
I remember Mr. Wonderful not liking a lot of my “shit”. I kept it in boxes and stacked it up in a closet. But even in my own house it’s still in a closet. ha It’s mostly school stuff from when I was a kid.
There is an adjustment period. All couples are different I believe.
Are you in your NEW home or did you move into Mr. W’s house?
I am glad the kitty kat is adjusting.
Vicky – There’d be more room in the garage for my “stuff” if an entire wall and shelving unit isn’t taken up with his camping “shit.” He’s annoyed with me for the “shit” I brought in, but honestly, there’s A LOT of his “shit” in the garage boxed, too. I’m sure we’ll be fine, too. Not like we’re strangers to minor bickering. 🙂 Growing pains in a relationship, that’s all. Mr. W isn’t as amenable to dumping his own crap as your man was, and when you come over you’ll understand why. His stuff all exist on themes. So either you have to throw the entire theme away or keep the entire theme. Our home is gonna look kinda jumbled in between his living room “travel” theme and my light and bright “cool blue ocean” and “light and bright oil paintings of outdoors” stuff. My decor and wall hangings: sea shells, sea glass, clear glass and candles/oil lamps, Kinkaids. His decor and wall hangings: guilded gold frames of Medieval style paintings, dark golds and burgundies, antique looking framed maps as the world knew itself in the 1400s, antique looking globes and leather suitcases with artifacts and stone vases from Peru displayed half-open like Disney ride decor.
Flat Coke – That’s MY stuff, too! Old photos, old writings, old schoolwork, old projects and paintings. I threw SO MUCH of that stuff out. But at least he understands there’s no way I’m throwing cards, emails and gifts from Grace out. He didn’t even suggest it.
We’re in our new home. We’re now “living in sin.” But we’re resolving that in a couple of weeks.
I bet you are so tired from all the moving. I agree, moving is the WORST chore! It so draining and always seems like there is more and more to pack. Luckily, you are all moved out and will never have to move again. You house is VERY beautiful!!! I love the landscaping and all the details in the house.
And LOL @ you “living in sin” HAHA! Too funny!
as someone who has just moved across the country, I totally agree with you that I do not want to ever move again !!! But guess what? I will have to in 3 years for sure, probably across the country all over. Congratulations for having survived your move. I ended up parting with pretty much everything I owned except for memorabilia. I don’t want people to give me gifts to treasure anymore… the next move will kill me!
Vanessa – The fact that you hate moving, too, makes it mean so much more that you came by and helped me three days, and you helped me haul stuff to the new house in your SUV the last day! Thanks, man!
idlehouse – You sound just like me! The hardest things to part with are the stuff that people give me and memorabilia. I’m gonna start telling people to not give me gifts to treasure anymore, too! They can do red envelopes instead. =)