Oh wait, I can’t. So you guys will have to on my behalf. (See what a great friend I am? I’m giving you an excuse to drink.)

Yesterday, Mr. W dumped me off at home after work and he ran off to meet his son at the gym. I meanwhile spent a nice couple of hours with his daughter. GUESS WHAT THE CONVERSATION WAS! She and her new “Beau” (not his name) had spent the past 2 Saturdays with us + stepson, the first having sushi, and this past Saturday having dinner at a Japanese teppan grill (they all had a blast and loved the goofball teppan chef). Since that cultish religious group (we’ll call it “Fellowship,” which is one word of its name) has evening-into-late-night-activities EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, she and Beau obviously missed a couple. She also missed another day because her car was in the shop, and was about to miss another last night because her car is still in the shop. The “pastor” of Fellowship (I doubt he’s a real pastor, since he’s young and started the group in his living room) totally gave Daughter a hard time. He did not give Beau a hard time. There are other members of Fellowship who come to two activities a week, and they’re not given crap. Beau says they give Daughter crap about it because she’s more easy-going (pushover) and allows them to. But she’d had enough. She pushed back and told the “pastor” that she’s been at EVERY SINGLE ACTIVITY and event for months straight, ever since she joined, and it is not fair of them to give her crap for missing a few events recently so she can spend ONE night a week with her family, and that it is unrealistic to plan events for every Friday and Saturday (social times) and expect her to give up all of her life to participate every single Friday and Saturday. She said her family has already pointed out that she doesn’t have time for them, and that she’s seeing it now, and she’s done a LOT for Fellowship already and they don’t seem to see it or appreciate it, and they instead demand more of her time. Why don’t they get on the cases of the members who are only there one or two times a week? Why harass HER for only missing a couple of times lately? Why can’t SHE be one of those members who only show up here and there? And the straw that broke the camel’s back for her: she attends a women’s smallgroup (the group she’s going to Haiti with) within the large primary church every Monday night. She’s shared with me some of the conversation the smallgroup has, and I’ve been really impressed with the tolerance, coping and life skills the smallgroup instills in its members. The “pastor” of Fellowship (who BTW hates this primary church and complains that the church “sugarcoats” Jesus when it should be pounding threats of damnation and repentance into its members, like he does, and he makes fun of the Thursday night services Daughter goes to at the large church, gives her a hard time for going) told Daughter that she should give up her Monday night smallgroup with the large church and instead come to Fellowship’s smallgroup, newly started and scheduled for Monday nights (coincidence? I think not). He says several of the girls have approached him and said that Daughter should be with them and away from the large church for smallgroup. Daughter put her foot down and said absolutely not. She doubted that the other members in Fellowship’s smallgroup, many of whom she barely knows, would benefit from or care about her being there, and that she gets so much out of her large church’s smallgroup, and they’ve been together so long they’re like sisters, that she feels it’s very beneficial to her and was not willing to leave it. She also took offense to one of Fellowship’s female members who trashes the reputation of her smallgroup leader whenever the Fellowship member gets time to talk to Daughter, no doubt also in an attempt to get Daughter to leave Church for Fellowship altogether. Daughter’s best friend, also an avid churchgoing but not a Fellowship member, also approached her and said honestly, she’s offended because she barely gets to see Daughter anymore herself, but despite that would never say, “Daughter, leave Fellowship and attend only large church events.” But Fellowship has been actively trying to get Daughter to cut off her other ties. Daughter said she cried to Beau about this after he confrontation with Fellowship’s “pastor.”
Beau’s take? “I’m going to go talk to him. He’s NOT RIGHT. You can take whatever time off you WANT to spend time with your family and friends. I think we should rethink this whole Fellowship thing.”
HALLELUJAH!@$#
When she told me this I ran up and hugged her and confessed I’d been concerned about this for MONTHS and was hoping she’d figure it out on her own. I reiterated that when she had her fight with her mom, this was the problem, this unrealistic, unreasonable expectation of Fellowship to take each of her evenings, knowing that forces its members to split from family time; the problem was never about Jesus or her religion. She said she’s seeing it now. She might still be marginally involved with their activity one night a week (such as the day when they hang out and sing to some elderly people in a convalescent home), but she’s not going to be sucked in like before anymore. Kinda like what Rebecca said on Sunday — Daughter’s personal growth will be independent of Fellowship’s cultish practices. Thank You, God!

This is how annoying Fellowship is. The Saturday activity that they were mad Daughter has not participated in for the last 2 Saturdays in a row cuz she’d been with us? They send some of the Fellowship girls to a local Hooters, so they can talk to the Hooters waitresses about Jesus and try to talk them out of their sinful jobs there. For me it’s like, “Leave the poor waitresses alone, they’re not STRIPPERS!” Geez.

With Daughter’s newfound free time, free of Fellowship, she’d cleaned her room, done her dishes, and did a ton of laundry. When school starts today after spring break, she should even have time to study and pass her classes now. Imagine that.