Thu 8 Mar 2012
A friend from jujitsu (also named Rebecca) told me that her baby stopped sleeping through the night at 4 months. She made mention of the developmental leap that occurs at 4 months, which is a major one and very disturbing to the kid. I asked what she meant, “stopped” sleeping through the night. She had to have meant that it was just a temporary stop while the baby was adjusting to the leap, right? No…she said the baby stopped from 4 months to 13 months. :O!!!
I’d never heard of that happening, where the baby regresses in progress for that long. She says that’s when you “sleep train” the baby into going back to sleeping through the night. I’d always thought sleep training was to get babies who don’t sleep thru the night to start sleeping thru. Rebecca think it’s not unusual for kids to stop sleeping thru at some point, at least for a few weeks, or until sleep trained. I know they co-sleep with the baby, so I’m hoping that’s the difference.
Last night, for the first time in awhile, Allie cried at 4am on the dot and I went in to give her a middle-of-the-night feeding. I was so scared she would stay up crying like she did after our bedtime routine, but she didn’t, she easily dropped off into sleep once I put her back in her crib. I was careful to let her doze a little on the Boppy for a couple minutes after nursing so she’d be properly sleepy when I transferred her.
She’s down for her morning nap right now, but instead of the usual 10 minutes it used to take me to soothe her, it’s stretched longer and longer and it took 40-45 minutes this time. She didn’t cry or fuss, but she just wouldn’t stop turning to look left and right, being interested in everything, and I couldn’t get her into her sleepy position (face against my chest, sucking her left thumb). She’d bounce right back up to look around her room again, despite the fact that she’d kept yawning. Her timing’s just a tad off today, since she fell asleep so late last nite, she slept in a little until 7:30a and I didn’t have the heart to wake her before then. The half-hour lateness plus how long it took her to soothe into her morning nap may throw off the rest of her day, making her biological sleepy times not match her old habitual nap times.
This developmental leap is really, really scaring me.
And the cat is really driving me and Mr. W crazy. I’m at the point where I’m willing to give him up to a loving home.
I have never heard it called a “development leap”. Usually it’s the teething. Most babies start sleeping through the night at less than about 10 weeks…but just about all of them regress when they start teething, and it is MUCH harder to get them to sleep through the night the second time.
It is not quite the same…they wake up once, and they are always pretty easily consoled…but it is a pretty universal occurrence.
But really? It isn’t something you can measure on a timeline…babies change constantly, and just when you find something that works, they change. Her nap times and patterns will change every couple of weeks, as will the things that she likes and dislikes. This week she may be falling asleep in one position, but next week it may be something else entirely.
And you have a very limited ability to train them:-) Babies run the show!!!
No….not Dodo… 🙁
I fantasized about strangling my cat the first 18 months. The “cat room” helped me a lot – I picked a room that’s as far away from the baby’s room as possible, and when the baby naps or goes down at night, cat goes into room to chill. If he yeowls, then the baby can barely hear him. I bought a automatic cat feeder that dispenses food in small increments 5x/day to take care of my cat’s begging cries. after 1 week, the yeowling was cut down dramatically. I think the feeder is $140 or something like that, best thing i’ve ever got for my cat.
AM – “developmental leap” is terminology from “The Wonder Weeks.” It seems Rebecca has read it, too. The theory is that in all species and in all babies, the necessary brain developments DO happen in the same timeline (with adjustments for premature or late-born babies), and thus are predictable. With each developmental leap, the baby becomes bewildered and overwhelmed, thus acting more fussy, unable to sleep, clingy, crying more.
Yup, she’s definitely changed her sleeping position quite a bit in the last few months. It was easier when the pacifier was an effective knocker-outer.
Sandy – you want him? Altho…I don’t think he’d do well in TX with your other furry kids.
idlehouse – I don’t have a spare room. 🙁 I do think it’s funny and wonderful that you did the cry-it-out method effectively with your cat, tho. Dodo doesn’t meow just because he wants food. He does a territorial very loud, very persistent yowling after he eats, walking around the living room, outside the baby’s door, before he settles down to sleep, more and more locations and more and more often now. He always has food and water, we make sure of that, so he never has to “ask” for it.
back then I was losing my mind over 2 crazy cats. My sister came for 1, and I kept 1. I just want the cat out of my sight, hence the chill room to prevent me from actually trying to strangle him… If I set up baby gates downstairs, my cat doesn’t try to jump over (I have the extra tall baby gates) so maybe it might worth a try to keep Dodo downstairs during sleep time? The Feliway something or another can help chill your cat too. I got mine at Petco.
Ah, there’s the problem. I don’t have a sister. I actually felt like I would get violent on him early this morning (see today’s post); that’s never happened before and never would’ve thought I’d get to that point. Dodo won’t stay downstairs; he only goes downstairs for food/water and otherwise hangs out upstairs. Maybe I can bring his food up so he doesn’t leave our bedroom. I’m gonna see what this Feliway thing is.
I feel for you and I assure you it’s temporary. From the cat’s point of view, he’s really stressed out and lonely, and he’s also not sure what’s that new thing in the bedroom is, so he feels threatened by the unknown. the first 9 months were the worst. Male cats are super needy and are very bad at adjusting. My friend had to give up hers shortly after the baby was born for the same reason. Older cats tend to yowl more for god knows what reason. One thing I can tell you is, if you keep up with the outburst, the cat might get physically ill – URI for no reason, or runny poo, etc. etc.. If your friends would agree to just take the cat for a year, perhaps that might work out best? One thing my cat likes, surprisingly, is to be thrown into his crate. I used to crate him as soon as the yowling started, and he just went to sleep in there, or sat quietly. I sprayed the crate with Feliway.
In summary: next time, get a female cat!
have Rebecca read your cat
This is interesting stuff. I never knew. Dodo’s always been super-low-maintenance. He’s an older cat, so he mostly just eats and sleeps. I don’t want him to be physically ill, but a friend has told me that their friend’s cat actually got physically ill enough to die after they had their baby. =(
Rebecca knows about the cat’s outbursts lately, and she said he’s jealous of the baby. It may not be a “read” as much as common sense for her, though, because she has a cat, too. Her cat is very protective over her son, tho.
my cats were the greatest cats ever – before I was short on time and energy. I used to think “OMG this cat was made for me, we must have been pals in our last life together since we got along so well.” I was reading cat psych and learned techniques of cat massage and my cat was basically having it really good. It went from that to “If I hear from that cat again, I will kick his ass” within 5 weeks after May was born. Now that May is grown, the cat is protective of her, and he sorts of watches her back and likes to be around her. I think if I were to have another baby, he will adjust much better. My friend, who has had 9 cats or so in the span of her life, says that older cats who have not seen babies are very anxious and territorial. Even her female cat left the room as soon as May entered up until 3 months ago. It took almost a year for that cat to adjust. I’ve also learned that male cats bond to female humans, female bond to males, so if you were to have a female cat, she would still have followed Mr. W and would freak out less…. I really had to read all these cat psych and stuffs to suppress my desire to strangle my cat, lol.
oh, I just thought of one thing, you can try the “new cat from the shelter” treatment wherein you find him a box, cut out a hole, cover it and hide it in a quiet corner downstairs, then spray it with feliway or stick catnip into it and your old tshirt. Whenever he goes in there, give him a treat.
I totally laughed reading about how your cats were The Most Perfect Cats Ever until May was born. I so relate!
Good info re cats. More things I never knew I never knew.
I’ll try the trick you described if the bedroom-food thing I just started stops working. But he isn’t really one for treats.