Tue 20 Mar 2012
I feel very pensive right now. Flip Flop Girl asked me on the phone before what it was exactly that I’m scared about when I feel like this. I couldn’t really come up with anything, because logic tells me that Allie is fine. But I’m terrified again! Is it because I’m feeling lost in unfamiliar territory again? I just get comfortable thinking I’ve “learned” her, and she flips the game. In fact, parents of young kids tell me that IS the game; I’m perpetually playing catch-up cuz they change so fast. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. But I’m not. I’m VERY uncomfortable with the lost feeling. I hate it. And Allie seems ahead of her time in growth and development, flying thru changes at light speed. I don’t know anyone else’s baby that started teething before 4 months. Whilst wearing 6-month clothes.
A huge thing on the horizon also worrying me is that hubby wants to take a vacation in early May. I have the same week off. He wants to roadtrip either to NorCal to see my friends and their new babies or maybe to Vegas so Allie can see his family. Allie has been doing better in carseats, not fussing automatically upon seating like she used to, but she still wants to get out after awhile, and unlike other babies I’d heard about, doesn’t automatically fall sleep once the car moves. I worry about her ability to sleep and nap when we’re away from home in a strange environment. I worry about her crying bothering hotel patrons if she can’t sleep through the strangeness. I worry about her missing naps like crazy, crashing, being very cranky from overtiredness and overstimulation. I worry about being unable to reacclimate her to her routine once we return home so that she continues being an overtired baby, and now one who is unable to sleep in her own room anymore, either. My cousin Jennifer recommended that I start “training” her to be able to sleep in different areas of our house. I’ve tried soothing her elsewhere, but she doesn’t go down. She used to be able to sleep in the playard and on the couch in the living room (supervised), but that went out the window after she got sick and I napped her exclusively in her crib for the elevated mattress and humidifer, and I haven’t been able to sleep her elsewhere since.
People tell me I’m not gonna mess my baby up by taking her on vacation or having her off-routine once in awhile. Logically, I believe them, but emotionally, I don’t. The only source of comfort is that the sleep book says if the baby is getting sufficient rest 90%+ of the time, and I’m respecting her drowsy cues and her need to sleep as much as I can, she will recover quickly from an occasional exception. It’s the babies who aren’t allowed to rest habitually, are always taken out and have very irregular lifestyles, are chronically overtired — it’s those babies who recover much slower after a disruption like a vacation.
Maybe it’s time to check with Rebecca for reassurance.
Four months is about right for the teething, although there is a HUGE range…it can start any time from 6-8 weeks, or some kids don’t get teeth until after a year. I feel like mine were somewhere in the 4-5 month range.
The bad news? The top teeth are worse than the bottoms…so you have that to look forward to:-)
You should go on vacation! It is way too easy to find a million excuses not to do it, and you will be exhausted when you get home. It will also absolutely be a pain…Allie will be out of her routine and will be irritable at some point…but you will be VERY happy that you did it. And whenever it is, your first vacation will be stressful and tiring, so you may as well get it out of the way now!
I feel like it’s all difficult for me, not because Allie is particularly difficult, but because I interpret it as such. It’s more my problem than hers. It’ll be better when the nanny is onboard. I’ll get breaks.
You’re right, we’re going SOMEwhere in May. I keep hearing that as non-portable as I think Allie is now, she’ll get increasingly non-portable, so it’s better we get that first vacay out of the way earlier, like you said. I’m also starting to think my fear is of the unknown, and once I’m forced to do this trip, it won’t be unknown anymore and I won’t be as anxious about getting out with her. Right now I’m scared to have her out for longer than in-between one eat/nap cycle, altho when she was 2 months or so, I had her out longer (when she slept outside her crib better).
Besides, it’s better we see people and their new babies now and let people see Allie now, cuz these kids are growing so fast that if the time is lost, it’s gone forever.
kyden cut 2 teeth at 3.5 months and was wearing 6 month clothes even before that.
come visit! she will be fine. it will be good for all of you =).
I think Allie will adapt just fine to traveling. You just need to keep your anxiety level down low and she’ll follow your lead. My kid got progressively better with her carseat as she grew past 4 months – it could also be the type of carseat? I know a couple of kids who hated their bucket seats, and as soon as they got into their Britax, they stopped complaining. I transitioned May to her Britax Boulevard (one monster of a carseat) around 3 months, and she was much happier in it. She continues to stay awake in her carseat to this day, unless it’s her nap time. I used to plan my trips around May’s nap time, feeding her and changing her and do everything needed and then the moment we put her into the car, that would coincide with her nap time. If it’s a LA>SJ trip, I tend to divide the trip in 2, first nap, drive, baby wakes, make a stop over somewhere fun (Harris ranch or the beach if you take the 101) hang out there and let the baby get stimulated for a bit, change, feed, clean, then near naptime, put her back into the car and finish the last leg of the trip.
As for her alertness and fighting naps, you can either get blackout curtains to render her room completely dark (and just use a LED nightlight that gives off bluish or purplish light. I use a small LED fish tank nightlight from Bed Bath Beyond.) Or you can use an Ergo or Moby Carrier and put the cover over her head, tuck her close to your chest – same position you currently use, and the cover will keep her head there, even if she moves her neck and sticks up, she still can’t see anything – it’s dark in there. Wait until she’s asleep, then transfer her to the crib. Ergo is my best friend when my kid was in strange environments where I couldn’t control much.
I also used to carry my fishtank nightlight with me everywhere, all I need to do is completely black out the room, plug in the light, and May learns that it’s bed time. I think seeing the same light would signal to the infant that it’s bed time if you make that part of her sleeptime ritual. in hotels you can request for rooms with no neighbors and they will try their best to accommodate you. Allie has an early bedtime so if she cries at 8pm, I don’t anyone would complain. If she cries in the middle of the night, try turn on the hair blow drier and let her listen to it while holding her tight and let her suck on her thumb (or yours). Just know that there are always things you CAN do in any given situation, as long as your child is healthy and you are healthy
come visit! sienna and kyden (and alexis, i’m sure) want to play with allie!!!
flip flop girl – I didn’t remember all that about Kyden! Maybe I didn’t realize the timeline, or didn’t note it cuz I was too inexperienced to know anything.
At this point, if we show up at your door, expect me to just burst into tears upon hugging you.
idlehouse – great tips, thanks! She’s currently in a Britax infant seat, and we have the Boulevard to use after she outgrows the infant seat. And you made the trip from LA to SJ in 2 legs of 2 naptimes?! Wow; May must sleep like 3 hours during her naps. Either that, or you drive very quickly and never hit traffic. I like the schedule you wrote for the traveling, tho. It actually makes it all sound do-able.
I didn’t know I can ask for no-neighbor hotel rooms. I’m definitely going to use that tip.
as an infant, May used to nap for 2-3 hours each nap, if I can create the right environment for her, but whenever we travel, it would take her about 30 minutes to settle down, so that counts towards the trip too. By May Allie will be closer to 6 months, and she can handle things much better than now. She will understand more about her surroundings, so she’ll be excited about trips and outings. Look forward to that 🙂
I’m lucky b/c my husband’s grandparent lived in Winnetka, and my siblings are in Northridge, so we always go from OC up there, spend the night, then take off on the 5 the next day. Allie is now big enough for the Boulevard, you can try moving her there to see if that helps…