I had an IM conversation with Diana last nite about how things will play out if something or someone is meant to be. The conversation reminded me of a particular circumstance. This is how fate or yuan (Mandarin) works in relationships.

My ex was very audible about how he’s a “breast man.” “The bigger the better, I don’t care if they’re fake,” he used to say. Granted, the exes or people he used to like/date that I’ve seen/met are large people so every part of them were big, not just the boobs. But he didn’t seem to mind that as long as they were, like, 44DDs or whatever they were. He’d asked me early on, “Would you ever consider getting a boob job?” I was taken off-guard and had responded with a snappish question — would he get a penis enlargement? And he’d responded that he would if he were asked to. But I was made to feel so inadequate in the breast department in that relationship that I did consider breast augmentation surgery. (I didn’t get one.) Subsequently, after I’d been a few months into dating Mr. W, I brought up the topic of implants. He was avidly against them, cited all the health risks and expense and how they’re not worth the exchange for simple vanity, and added that my breasts are perfect the way they are (I’ll spare you guys the adjectives and descriptions he used in telling me how I’m fine the way I am). I told him I’d briefly considered getting them augmented in the past, and he said that if I had done that, he would not be dating me right now.

So let me review. If I had altered something unnecessarily to please my ex, then I would not have been with this great man who loves me as I am, who values my health above some appearance preference. But because I chose to keep my body parts as they are, that left the door open to be with this new guy. I love the way that works out.

Let me clarify…the issue is not that we don’t like people who have implants. There are justifications for having implants, like maybe someone had a breast removed due to cancer, or someone with actual problems in the breast area and need to even them out for their own self-esteem. But to augment for a GUY (or guys in general) is a different story. It tells you where someone’s priorities lie, and the kind of motivation from whence their major decisions stem.