I woke up this morning feeling green. Not as in sick and nauseated, but as in unripe. I felt like a tart hard fruit not ready to be picked, not meant to face the world, but nevertheless was plucked prematurely out of bed.

I dreamt that I was doing jujitsu training in waist-deep pool water and suddenly on my left lower abdomen, I got a sharp almost-painful bloating feeling, like my left ovary just ballooned up or something. So I stopped, holding the offended area with my hands. I tried working out again and the feeling came back, so I stopped again, and I dreamt the blackbelt instructor came up to me to see what was wrong. He decided I needed to go to the emergency room, and was about to take me himself, but his girlfriend offered to take me instead. So we went back to my home, which was an apartment in the dream, to call 911 and pack some clothes. While there, I felt better so I decided to check up on my agenda. I must’ve sent the girlfriend home. My planner stated that I had a trip planned to fly to Northern Cal to hang out with friends, except it was Saturday in my dream, I’d forgotten about the trip, and presumed I’d missed my flight. I called my mother to ask if she knew when I was supposed to leave. She said I could still make it, the flight wasn’t until late. So I decided to pack some reading with me, since flipping through my planner I also discovered that I have a few novels due in a week or so as I am back in college. I was relieved to discover that I’d already read both novels before, one was an Asian American themed one, and the other was an American or British classic. I normally dream that I’m back in college and can’t find my classrooms, or I suddenly realize some huge project or reading I hadn’t done is due right that day, or that I was horribly behind in some complicated class like math because I’d failed to attend class all quarter and never cracked open the book and now the final is upon me and it’s too late to drop the class.

I’m exhausted. It’s not easy to be green.