Today was a confusing and perturbing day. I was confused why I was so perturbed over something that wasn’t happening to me. Am I so freaking bored that I’m taking in someone else’s unfortunate drama to affect my sense of peace? Unfortunately, when bad things are happening to someone you’re in love with, telling yourself “This isn’t your problem, you’re not touched by this, it’ll handle itself with or without you” doesn’t get you very far. There’s something inside that wants to right the injustice, but I know I’m totally powerless and don’t have the option of participating in these events. Which is a good thing, the fact that I’m uninvolved in bad stuff, except for the fact that I feel so crappy about it. And then I’m back to the confusion. I was just sick about it all day today, trying not to take attitudes personally, trying to remind myself to be more giving and more understanding in this time. Still confused as to why I’d even have to tell myself that. I can walk away from it all right now and nothing would technically touch me or my life, I am that removed from it all. Technically. But I’m responding to it emotionally. Stop it.

I had a moment of relief from the stress (which isn’t even rightfully mine) between 7:30 and 9:00 when I took Vanessa up on her offer to go to Boot Camp at a local park, a circuit-training workout that’s run by her sister. It’d been offered before, but this time I went with it because I didn’t get to work out at lunch (I realized after getting into the gym locker room that I’d forgotten to bring workout pants, and I doubt the club would allow me to work out in my underwear), and I needed a distractor. The workout was so intense that I got the pre-fainting symptoms of dizziness, nausea, cold sweats, hyperventillation for a few minutes and sat out the rest of a circuit. I told myself I wasn’t properly nourished before the workout, and I was stressed all day, so I wasn’t at the top of my game. But it was disturbing that it happened. At least I caught the symptoms early and didn’t actually pass out or vomit. I was able to finish off all sets of all exercises up till then, despite seeing that some other people took breaks during sets. Yeah, when you feel like that, you really don’t care WHAT’s happening to other people in your life. Plus, some mosquitos actually stung me through my long-sleeved shirt, one on my arm, three on my back, so that occupied my attention for a few minutes, too. It was also really nice to catch up with Vanessa; I hadn’t seen her since way before my China trip.

Speaking of Vanessa, I’d once joked that the reason why my life/relationship was so peaceful was because all the drama available in the local area was being used up by Vanessa, so there was none left for me. Now that Vanessa’s life is on track, the drama has now hit someone else close to me. *sigh*

Mr. W said earlier, after a strange series of bad events that involve people marginally dealing with him, that anyone making contact with him these days are prone to attracting bad luck. Such as the guy tinting his car windows in the parking structure being harassed by the City. Such as my not having my workout pants. Well, I tend to believe that there are people/entities that look out for me, so I wasn’t too concerned. But at 6:30p, walking to my car in the parking structure after work, a car sped around a curb and unpredictably and without slowing down, turned right into my path and kept going in a speed way too fast for a parking structure. He didn’t even look and therefore didn’t see me. Some Asian guy. If I had stepped off the curb a mere 2 seconds earlier, there is no doubt that I would’ve been severely hit from my left, which would break my legs, hips, and at his speed, he wouldn’t have been able to stop from running over me so my head was likely to have been taken off, too. So to the entities protecting me, thank you. Your efforts are not unseen or unappreciated.