From research online and from talking to my pumping expert pal, college roommie Diana, I think my problem with milk supply isn’t a lack of milk; it’s a lack of let-downs. Diana taught me how to fiddle with the dials and buttons on my Medela double electric breast pumps to induce subsequent let-downs beyond the first one, and I took tips from other moms’ experiences on online discussion boards such as watching videos of their baby, relaxing, rearranging the pump flange to get suction on a different part of the milk ducts. I have also been drinking homemade pork hock stew (thanks to my mom) for the past 3 lunches hoping the old Chinese folk wisdom for increasing milk production has some merit to it.

The first time I tried all these things in conjunction, the yield was nearly double what it had been (the first time, almost 5oz instead of the 3oz I’m now aiming for, and hitting 4 a couple of times after). I’m also pumping longer (about 20 minutes instead of giving up after 10). I even got a let-down on the hand-pump yesterday morning, the first in 3 mornings. I was optimistic and excited. Yesterday afternoon and today, however, other factors seeped in making my work pump situation no longer ideal. We were assigned an attempted murder trial, which before maternity leave would’ve made me happy. However, with my pumping, a trial means I miss out on portions of the proceedings while I’m pumping, and that I no longer have our jury room to pump in. Thanks to the generous offer by my coworker Erin, I get to stay on the floor and use her semi-private restroom, but that still means I have to run down the hall and pump in a room colder than I’m used to (which I’ve read does affect let-down reflex) with time constraints on my mind, which adds more pressure and stress which of course all help block the Baby La-La-Land mentality that is apparently required for my brain to produce oxytocin on demand. I also feel bad interrupting that courtroom’s personnel to burst in there a few times a day, and for taking up a chunk of their small fridge to store my milk and other pump stuff. I had hoped to establish better, more productive pumping sessions by doing all this new stuff until my body got used to it, so the timing of this trial sucks.

For those people who are blissfully unfamiliar with the processes of breastfeeding, the danger is that if I can’t drain the milk out of my breasts on a very regular basis, my body will think that there is not a great demand for milk. It will then make LESS milk. And if I still can’t empty the breasts then, it will think it’s still making more than is needed, and it will in turn make even less. This is the miraculous responsiveness of a mother’s body to the needs of her child. It’s perfect in theory, unless you’re a modern-society mom who works outside of the home. (Not that I’m not immensely grateful for the abundance of clean running hot water to clean pump parts, federal laws protecting my right to pump at the workplace without risking my job, and reliable electricity to operate my breast pumps, all free of charge, thanks to my living in a non-third-world country. Altho…if I lived in a third-world country, I probably would be nursing my child all the time instead of going to a job elsewhere.)

In any case, I suppose even if I dry up prior to a year and have to introduce Allie to dairy earlier than recommended by pediatricians, or have to supplement with some formula against pediatric advice, I’m still in a better position than the tatted-up guy sitting about 20 feet from me on trial for beating his girlfriend into pulp with a flashlight.