Mon 7 Jul 2008
Fat Burning Experiment: Day 7 aka LAST DAY!!!
Posted by cindy under Goals , Health & Body , Mental States at 7:24 pm[7] Comments
Day 7: BROWN RICE, UNSWEETENED FRUIT JUICE, AND VEGETABLES. Again, stuff, stuff yourself. Be sure to have the soup at least once today.
I had to get to work early, so I didn’t pack a lunch of veggies or brown rice. I only brought along a container of the veggie soup. And you know what my court reporter brought to work? Homemade cupcakes!! With chocolate frosting! She’s NEVER brought cupcakes before. Of course it has to be during my diet week. My judge had one, my courtroom assistant (I presume) had one, cuz 2 were missing. When my reporter realized I was still on my diet, she blocked the cupcakes and told me not to look. Well, I did look. And then I went back and looked again. Later on in the day I walked by them and peered in yet another time. But I did not touch. Not even with my tongue. Not even when I had to bitterly drink half my soup before the noon workout and the other half plus a handful of raw snowpeas (donated by Gym Trainee) after the workout, craving carbs. There was one cupcake remaining in the container when I left for the day. It better be gone by the morning.
I am so scared that without the excuse of “diet” to refuse all this food this week, I’m gonna eat my way back into unfunny expressions like “I have a perfect body. It’s just wrapped in fat to keep it from getting scratched.”
I was starving when I got home, and the brown jasmine long grain rice was so fragrant and satisfying. I steamed the rice and mixed it with some (formerly) frozen seasoned veggies, had some soup with half a raw green bell pepper, and a big glass of unsweetened orange juice. I haven’t been full like this for a long time. But when I changed into my loungewear earlier right after I’d eaten, I could swear I look fat again.
Maybe Mr. W is right. If being full triggers me to think I’m fat, maybe I am anorexic. Our IMs earlier:
Cindy: *drinking yummy tasteless vegetable mush *
Mr. W: *drinking Martini
Cindy: *pout *
I’m scared I’m gonna eat everything in sight next week adn gain 10 lbs.
Mr. W: Thats usually what happens after a diet
Diets are bad….
Bad Diet
Bad
Cindy: are you wagging your finger at me?
Mr. W: No the diet
Cindy: I think losers pig out both before and after the diet.
and they reward their diets with food.
both of which are totally counterproductive to the act of dietingl
I’m not one of those fools.
I don’t start my diet on a “monday” just so I can shovel food in my face on the weekend.
I taper my food and give my diet a running start.
and I’m not gonna eat the “yay you deserve it” cupcake tomorrow.
*shaking fist *
Mr. W: r u off ur soap box now?
Cindy: *looking down *
Yes.
Mr. W: If u r looking down u r still on it
Cindy: What, you didn’t like the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” playing in the background while I was typing?
Mr. W: U do fine with your life style changes.
U don’t eat fast food…U moderate your sweets and snacks
and U plain eat healthy
Almost Always
Cindy: then why do I still jiggle when I move? *sob *
Mr. W: U have anorexia Syndrome
U will always think that
Cindy: i won’t think that if I don’t jiggle.
Mr. W: because your Mom ingrained that in you
Cindy: i’m not fat compared to californians but I”m fat compared to chinese.
Mr. W: Bones in the mirror still look fat to anorexics
Cindy: but I literally jiggle.
you see ripples like waves when I move.
Mr. W: I like your curves. If you become boney I won’t like That.
Cindy: oh, really?
Mr. W: Ethiopians are gross
Fobs are gross
Cindy: HAHAH
Mr. W: Boney arms and boney ribs..Blah
Cindy: I won’t be boney, I have too much muscle for that
Mr. W: Now calves and definition..Thats what I’m talking bout
I cannot believe I didn’t comment where chocolate was involved!!
I found the conversation with Mr. W entertaining–so did your mother tell you that you were fat growing up? You are NOT FAT and that pic of you in FL shows nothing that will jiggle except maybe your boobs, which is a good thing :o)
My mom has serious problems with who I am and what I look like and what I do and don’t do. And she’s always expressed those things. Oh well. 🙂
Actually, I think everything in that picture jiggles except my boobs, which no longer jiggle cuz they’re disappearing. Again, oh well. *sigh*
Your boobs are disappearing? Is that bc you are losing more weight?
I think my mother will always feel she has a right to tell me how to live no matter how old I get. People excuse it as “that’s how moms are” but I have plenty of friends who DON’T have to live under scrutiny. The less my mother knows about me, the better off we both are, I have a feeling you are much the same.
Is it weird we have a continuing comment string on a post written almost a year ago? We’re cool that way. We are not hindered by the boundaries of time! haha.
Yeah, my body has decided that after a certain point, it will stop taking fat from problem spots and instead start hacking at the “good curves.” I was trying to find that balance, but gave up and am just letting it hack away in hopes that when it gets bored at making boobs and butt disappear, it will once again go back to stomach, upper thigh, and upper arm fat.
Has your mom started complaining that you never tell her anything yet? Mine has incorporated that whine into an every-conversation ritual.
Even though it’s not a secret, it’s almost like a secret blog thread. Kinda cool. Too bad we’re the only cool kids hanging out over here, huh? lol
Yes my mother has always said I never tell her anything. But if she would think about that for about 2 seconds she would know why. Because she would turn it right back around on me and tell me everything WRONG I am doing, religious or moral. I don’t think I was supposed to start that last sentence with the word “because” so please forgive me. I try to be conscientious when I type around you bc of your English major. ha ha
If I told my mother I had an attraction to a girl, or thought about another man, or drank a bottle of wine, or had mean thoughts about someone it would NOT be a pleasant conversation. She can never be my friend, therefore, I cannot TELL her things. So we stick to food, weather, family, and my job. *sigh*
Are you open to plastic surgery? I think you have posted about this before but I cannot remember your answer about a boob job. I think you look great though, perfect size.
That just proves we’re the coolest kids in a very exclusive club. 🙂
I always thought the same thing when my mom complains about my never telling her anything: “THINK about what happens any time I ever tell you ANYTHING! You freak out and tell me everything wrong with me, and how it’s all my fault, and that I should just do everything you tell me instead.” This happens when I even so much as mention that I bit my lip and it’s becoming ulcerated and hurting. I get a “See? That’s what you get for never listening to me and eating more fruit! You never eat enough fruit! If you listen to me and ate more fruit, your face wouldn’t be rotting away like that! It’s your own fault for not listening to your mother!” etc. (Actual conversation.)
I don’t follow all the rules of proper English when I type informally on here, either.
I have a post about how my ex wanted me to get breast augmentation…I’ll link it and we can have another super-secret conversation thread on THERE! haha! Lemme go look for it…
Here we go.
http://cindy.ocliw.com/2006/03/20/things-that-line-up/
In the comment section I mentioned being 34D. I don’t think I’m anywhere near 34D anymore (meaning I’ve shrunk and am now the smallest I remember my boobs being since adolescence), but I don’t know my size, either. I should go to VS and get remeasured.