cindy's world

Probably the most positive of few uses of insomnia is spending it as quality time with someone you really enjoy conversing with. The workout I had once at 3am runs a close second to that. (You gotta love 24 Hour Fitness hours.)

I’m bummed. I knew something was bothering me subconsciously because for the past 2 nights, I’d been doing my stress habit and right now, it’s painful to walk. I didn’t go to jujitsu tonite, I didn’t have the energy. I also didn’t work out at lunch because the judge wanted me to redo all the relief clerk’s verdict forms for the murder trial I walked into upon my return from vacation. I didn’t want to address the problem so I didn’t bother thinking about what it might be. However, talking to Mr. W earlier in the evening, his concern about my lowness and encouragement to get it out of my system got me to hit a few points that were so painful they brought tears to my eyes.

I had a very different vacation from Diana. The place was beautiful, the people were nice, the food was amazing, but instead of it being the relaxing Calgon-take-me-away paradise that it was for Diana, for me it showed that the light at the end of the tunnel, at least at the particular tunnel I’m in presently, is dim. Six years I’d been stagnant. All of this, the job, the house, the lifestyle, were supposed to be temporary. Six years is not temporary. I’d already thrown my original timeline out the window, and I’m good with that. But I can’t do this lifestyle forever. I realized today that I don’t want to. This singles life was great last month. I considered throwing all the traditional norms out and just living day-to-day forever, taking life for what it offers me, savoring every small gem in every unexpected place. Now, I’m afraid that that’s just not me. I’m someone who has a general plan in mind. I’m always going somewhere. There is always another goal or expectation in front of me. I set my life up a certain way to reach that goal.

I want to wake up in the arms of my husband in the chill of a December morning. I want to snuggle with him in front of a blazing fireplace while he reads the paper, sometimes out loud as items he thinks will interest me catch his eye. I want to watch my little girl play around the house and marveling at our family Christmas tree. I want to make her hot chocolate with marshmallows floating on top, so she can warm her little fingers around the mug and sip from it just like Mommy and Daddy drinking their coffee. I want to answer her questions about why certain things are. And then I’ll brush her dark hair into a ponytail and we’d all get dressed to go on a drive to some pretty street or hotel to admire their Christmas decor as Daddy takes photos of us in various silly poses, she with her little mouth opened toward the sky in laughter, arms out as if embracing the world. When we return in the evening, we’ll make cookies or parfait, then settle down curled up in blankets and Dad and I would take turns reading her a continuing story that I’d write daily for her, about the adventures of a little girl who’s a lot like my little girl who does some funny things but ultimately has a big heart and does the right thing. She’d fall asleep, and Dad would carry her to her bed, tuck her in, and he and I would tiptoe back to the family room or our bedroom for our private time, having the same great conversation that we’ve always had, marveling at life and appreciating each other.

Only, I don’t know whether I’m dreaming of my future, or reminiscing about my childhood.

What I want most right now is to curl up with Mr. W and hopefully fall asleep as he holds me, stroking my hair or my skin. I miss him and his comforting presence.

Dreams resort provides myriad activities per hour throughout the day we can enjoy on its expansive private grounds. This day, our 9am hour was spent on yoga (Diana’s first time!) under a white gazebo, located on a protruding cliff called Punta Cancun, surrounded by water. This is absolutely the fantasy yoga spot. Unbelievably blue sky clustered with white cloud puffs hanging over a turquoise and emerald striped ocean. Iguanas sunning themselves on rocks around us. Beach view to the right. Cliff and greens view to the left. The sound of waves crashing lulling us into serenity.

After yoga, we actually did water aerobics at the urging of the resort program directors whom Diana befriended, as you’ll see in the photo of the cocktail class we took at 2pm. Water aerobics concluded with me having to kiss and be kissed by 2 women, whereas Diana did the same with the 2 men you see in the cocktail photo.

Diana (who got “volunteered” to do a cocktail demo by the guys) named her cocktail “Cindy’s Favorite Drink,” but I think it should’ve been called something like a Latin-Asian Sandwich.

After a little bit of sand volleyball and our classes, we had lots of beach time again. I fell asleep on my lounger and when I woke up (to Diana pouring bottled water down my back), I told her I have no idea what time it was or how long I’d slept. She said, “That’s the beauty of it. You don’t need to know.”

For dinner, we met the “anything waiter” at the resort’s Seaside Grille. We got kissed by this waiter (who tried to take us out salsa dancing but we opted to go back to our room to rest up for our excursion the next morning) and another random waiter who clearly had a huge crush on Diana. More on that in a later entry. On the walk back to the room after dinner, we lounged outside at the private “club-side” beach until we got chased back to our rooms by mosquitos.
The “club” is a more exclusive, VIP guest area with its own private lounge and infinity pool facing the gazebo.

(Do I need to remind you guys to rest the mouse pointer over each photo for captions?)

Hit the gym first thing in the morning, then walked 2 hotels over for our timeshare presentation. I got them to leave me alone by making myself their worst type of candidate: “I vacation, like, once every 7 years, so I’ll never be able to use your packages. I also can’t afford any packages, especially ones I won’t use.” Diana got them to leave her alone by folding her arms over her chest and saying firmly and stand-offishly that altho she vacations often, she’s unable to make any commitments or decisions of the sort on the spot, and furthermore, refuses to. After a couple of hours wasted on us, we collected our $10 Chichen-Itza excursions and scheduled it for Wednesday, then went back to our own much better resort.

We had scheduled a dual beachside massage for the afternoon, and that was incredible. It was done in a private cabana on the beach so that we’re listening to the ocean and had the incredible ocean view as we enjoyed our 50-min massages. We lounged in enclosed spa area afterwards and I enjoyed the complimentary fruit.

Check out the spa showers.

They’re open-air on one side!

Then we explored the resort and hung out at their private beach.

Arrival. Diana’s flight to Cancun was scheduled to land 10 minutes before mine, and she greeted me on the other side of Customs. At the airport, we allowed ourselves to be “suckered” into a timeshare presentation at another hotel order to score two excursions to Chichen-Itza for $10 each. (Average price for excursions: $80 per.)

The all-inclusive Dreams Resort & Spa was very appropriately named. See link for their photos. You’d think the colors of the water, sky, or resort are touched up, but they aren’t. We unpacked, worked out at their gym (not a bad gym!). We had our first drinks at an outdoors bar, then a nice seafood dinner at one of their amazing restaurants.

So as to not fall too far behind due to Cancun entries, I decided to post current things in between the Cancun posts. (I can only do Cancun from home anyway, since my photos are on the home PC.)

Saturday evening, Mr. W greeted me outside LAX with a big hug and a yellow rose. I had called him from the plane during taxi-ing into the gate and said, “Remember what I look like?” He’d replied, “Of course I remember! I’ve been dreaming about you all week!” I said, “Well, take that mental image, and darken me 8 shades.” Seriously, I came back a different race. My tanlines are so intense that the contrast looks like I’m wearing a white bikini when I’m naked. All this despite continual reapplication of SPF 50 waterproof, sweatproof sunblock every hour. When we got back to my house, he loaded my photos into my laptop and I introduced him to Cancun, I unpacked, then got reacquainted with Nintendo GameCube’s “Donkey Konga.” I kept hearing songs in Cancun that I’d characterize as “bongo songs” and Diana suggested I plug in the ol’ video game console and bongo to my heart’s content when I get home. So we did.

Sunday, Mr. W and I got to cross one thing off our local to-do list. We went to UCLA late morning and I gave him a tour with the telephonic help of tourguide Diana, my college roommie. She remembers UCLA and the locations and names of buildings in surprising detail, and I remember remarkably little of it. I thought the inverted water fountain was taken out and replaced with new art buildings, and in one of like 5 calls to her for reference or direction, I complained that we’d been all over North Campus and I can’t find it. She said, “That’s cuz it’s not in North Campus, it’s in SOUTH CAMPUS, behind Knudsen Hall!” Oh. We found it. *blush* I swear, I really did attend undergrad there! We parked right by my old apartment so we did my senior year walk to class and around campus and throughout Westwood. Had coffee (iced capp royale) at the coffee shop in Kerckhoff Hall, a late lunch at Mustache Cafe on Glendon in Westwood, dessert of ice cream and cookies at Piddy Reese. I was giddy with reliving my college days, drinking the same stuff I did 10 years ago, walking the same roads, sharing my memories at various locations.

Sunday evening, I met up with my parents, grandma and some of my mom’s friends (married couples) at a Chinese restaurant to celebrate my parents’ 30-yr wedding anniversary. There was lots of funny talk about how miserable each couple was in having been tricked into being with the other one for the past few decades, obscene tips for making a marriage last. Altho I was stunned at how crass and profane my dad’s sense of humor was (as I played dumb, pretending I didn’t get the innuendos delivered in Mandarin, as they clearly expected me to be some non-bilingual deaf moron), I was more stunned to realize that it’s HEREDITARY. I make the same kind of jokes (albeit not in front of people’s offspring), except in English. Then I went back to my parents’ after dinner to show them my Cancun photos.

It’s insane in here! Apparently I’ve stepped into the midst of a messy murder trial. Defendant allegedly shot and killed his wife during an argument. Lots of exhibits and photos, none of which I’ve studied. Ugh. Anyway, this is just me checking in w/you guys. Will work on Cancun as I have time.

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Cindy & Diana’s Cancun Vacation

First of all, I must say, it is good to be home. I really enjoy the cool SoCal air that breathes so much easier than the thick humid Caribbean atmosphere. But my skin seems to like the humidity. That being said, here’s my vacation, organized by days. (I will later hit categories when I have time.) This is a lot of work (piecing together my days and resizing/uploading my photos), so please be patient with me as I slowly put these posts up. And…prepare to be jealous. =)
Monday.
Wednesday.
Thursday.
Friday.