cindy's world

Just when I figured now that I’m a grownup I can spell most common words, I am humbled by the Los Angeles Mission.

I’m writing out a check to the cause to sponsor a table for their annual Thanksgiving dinner for the homeless, and in the memo line of my check, I wrote:

Memo: donation to Thanksgiving capagne
______________________________

Memo: donation to Thanksgiving campagne
_________________________^____

Memo: donation to Thanksgiving campagne Campaigne .
_________________________^____

How pathetic. I never knew I couldn’t spell “campaign.” My check looks retarded.

I’ve been having relationship nightmares these past couple of nights. Today’s horoscope reads:

On one hand you may be wide open to the current circumstances of your life. On the other hand, you are cautious about what you let into your heart. Make decisions now that are based on your willingness to love rather than on the analytical fear that creeps in when you don’t know what will happen. Find time for quiet reflection and trust your intuition, no matter what distractions arise.

Nowhere in the above advice does it tell me to go ahead and help myself to a panic attack, so I guess I won’t.

The long-awaited psychic solicitation letter from Maria Duval has arrived. Yup, once you’re on one mailing list you’re on all of ’em.

The gimmick for this particular letter is a lot more interesting than that of Miss Elizabeth’s and Dr. Marissa Von Trapp’s (read about my receipt of Miss E’s 1st letter here, her 2nd letter here and other related stuff here). Miss E said that the archangel Michael appeared and pleaded with her to help me. I can’t remember how Van Trapp claimed she found me, but her letter had some tarot card enclosed with a ton of positive predictions that would only happen if I paid her $25 so that she could cast spells for me so that I wouldn’t miss the diamond tennis bracelet I’m supposed to find on the ground, for one example.

Maria Duval does not claim to be a psychic herself. Indeed, she does not tell you what she does, only that she was in her office doing some filing with, apparently, some dude named Nicos Daskalos hanging out there, too, and this guy is “a man of faith capable of performing miracles.” As her story goes, “I came across some older files on my desk. Among them, there was your name, Cindy [last name] living at [my address]! Nicos Daskalos was with me at the time. Suddenly, as if hypnotized, his eyes were fixed on these files for several minutes, then he said to me:
‘Listen Maria, you must urgently put us in contact. I can see a person very open to the spiritual world and the things which I will convey could save that person and reverse any misfortunes which this poor soul has been experiencing.’
Taken aback, I answered him ‘no problem, Nicos, but what do you want me to say exactly?’ ”

Apparently, that was when Nicos disclosed that I’m supposed to have some long-sought significant change take place from October 3 but that there’s an evil element that could stop this great thing about to happen to me and thereby affect my destiny by stopping this change. “It’s absolutely imperative that we neutralize the affecting saturnine influences which are related to that very specific date.” Since I don’t have delusions of grandeur and expect to turn into some Christ-figure, I’m gonna say that this so far just reminds me of a Buffy or Angel episode. Then some stuff about who Nicos is and his “extraordinary powers,” and of course, HER personal vouching for him that she holds him “in very high esteem and I have a great deal of admiration for his extraordinary powers.” Well gosh, I was skeptical of him until YOU told me such, Maria! Whomever YOU are! Anyway, her letter goes on and on through 5 pieces of paper, front and back, and the last page ends with your payment option. Check? Money order? Please make those out to Maria Duval (why would I pay her instead of Nicos? hmm, could it be that this Nicos doesn’t exist? Maybe Nicos is her fake money cow, like “nickels,” as Marissa Von Trapp “traps” you). Cash? Mastercard and Visa. As for how much she wants, just a measely $10. And then you sign the agreement. If your miracles don’t happen (I didn’t even read the letter to find out what riches and love and luck are promised me), you get a refund. Like many people are gonna jump thru hoops to get $10 back. But if they collect $10 from 100 people, that’s $1000! And I’m sure they sent this to a ton of people considering they didn’t use a postage stamp, they used a presorted standard pre-printed stamp seal. OH, COME ON! How many files did this Nicos guy zone out on, Maria? How messy is your desk?! Maria Duval, by the way, is from Everett, MA so these scams are not just based out of Beverly Hills like the first one.

Oh, I almost forgot the best part. There is a second letter written in what appears to be Russian handwriting, on what appears to be blue ink on lined notebook paper. It’s 6 pages, and it’s signed by Nicos himself. When I look closely, I can see the little pixels that form the letters, which means it’s NOT written by hand, it’s STILL computer-generated, mass-produced. Lemme just skim thru Maria’s letter to see her description of what this Russian letter is.

Oh, apparently it’s 7 “parchments” to help you save yourself from “Kaliyuga,” which he says is “a dark era during which corruption reigns and the forces of destruction seek to anihilate humanity.” (Again, any Angel fans here?) The 7 parchments are “karma,” “love and affection,” “wealth and prosperity,” “inner peace,” “protection,” “health and longevity,” and “luck.” I won’t get into the descriptions of each parchment. Mainly because I refuse to read 10 pages of scare tactics about how I’m doomed and the only thing that stands between me and “anihilation” is the $10 it takes to pay Maria Duval.

The plan yesterday was to meet up with college roommie Diana (who’s visiting LA this weekend with her Mr. Big) and some other people over at UCLA/Westwood in the late afternoon, and then Mr. W and I would go to our anniversary dinner from there to The Stinking Rose on Restaurant Row in Beverly Hills. Because, you know, one year together is enough time to emanate the stench of garlic through your breath and pores without fear the other party would be nauseated enough to leave you. The timing ended up being far off what with Diana’s running around and our errands before we could leave to LA, so we didn’t touch base at all. Today, however, promises solid plans to meet up with everyone for dim sum brunch, hanging out all day, and then a dinner at Killer Shrimp. YUM! Well, it’s as solid as it could be considering Diana is probably still toasted from “free flowing alcohol” last nite at the concert they attended. I hadn’t even heard from her about when and where we’re supposed to meet today, so of course the alcoholic consumption is just a venture, but knowing her, I’m probably right on the money. I’ll wait till 9:30 or so to call her and wake her up.

P.S. Dinner was great. The food, as always, is amazing at the place where “we season our garlic with food!”. Service was consistent with the amazing great service I’d been having all-around these past few weeks. Mr. W and I had some good productive conversations, and by good and productive, I mean that they were complimentary to me. =) The first was about my little black chiffon skirt, which Mr. W said “is sexy as hell.” I’m such a bad compliment-taker. I deferred it with, “I didn’t know hell was sexy.”

P.P.S. I entertained the thought of bringing along my laptop so we could do a Diana-Cindy Crossover Blog Event, and then realized/remembered that her Mr. Big doesn’t know about the existence of her blog, so I had to can that idea and remind myself not to mention the word “blog” when in their vicinity. I hope I don’t slip. Oh, the life of a secret blogger who likes to talk about her men on public web sites. 😉

Just found this online. Whoa…

Economic and social correlates of IQ in the USA

What’s of particular interest to me in the way IQ correlates to the way people live in the US is:
* people who are of highest IQ (category listed as 125+) are the least likely to be married by age 30, but are also the least likely (by a dramatic difference) to be divorced within 5 years once married
* less than 2% of the 125+ IQ group have illegitimate children, compared to 32% of the lowest IQ (<75) category
* poverty, incarceration, receiving welfare, dropping out of high school, are directly correlated with IQ, such that the lower the IQ, the more likely you’re going to deal with those 4 life experiences. 55% of the lowest IQ category drop out of high school as compared to less than 0.4% of the highest IQ group.

Okay, so I’m a 30 year old single woman high school grad with no children and no criminal record who is financially independant and doesn’t even know how to apply for welfare. That must mean I’m “smart.” HAHA.

I just spent the past hour completing a 12-page IQ test online. I was just surfing the net and one of the sidebar ads waving at me with stupid colorful insomniac-click-here-for-fun flashes sucked me in. As if I need to further demonstrate on myself why I shouldn’t watch late-night marketing when my boredom is high and common sense is low, I invested all this time completing the test thru a site called “Tickle” and when I finished the test, the site wouldn’t give me my score unless I went thru like 5 advertising pages in which I was forced to give out personal contact information for products I don’t care to be solicited by. In the fine print on one page asking me to select various newsletters from Hewitt-Packard, it said that if I don’t select any, one will randomly be selected for me. And it wouldn’t let me proceed without clicking on stuff and giving them my email address. Another alarming ad was for Vonage, the phone company. Apparently this company has gone from cell phone provider to residential land-line provider. It forced me to put down my phone # to be contacted by a salesperson so they can solicit me to transfer to Vonage with some 1st month free promo. I seriously considered just closing the window, but I invested over an hour of my sleepless night really answering the IQ questions to the best of my ability, and I wanted to see the result! So I gave the cliche fake number 555-5555, and it let me get thru the screen. I’m mad about this trickery, by the way. Make you waste all this time and they hold your results hostage until you pay the ransom with your personal information.

I don’t know much about IQ tests, except that I learned in a college class that it’s the 2nd most unreliable test, the most unreliable being a personality test. Looking at the content of the IQ test, I can see why now. It’s a lot of recognizing and perpetuating patterns (which appeals to my OCD side) both with visual figures and with numbers. To perpetuate a numerical pattern, some basic math is required. Knowledge of square roots, for example. To solve some other problem, I even employed the Pythagorean Theorem. You can’t tell me that if I did not have the education I did, that if I grew up in some heavily rural area (they only had one question that even mentioned goats) and therefore would not have known how to figure out how far apart 2 cars are if they leave from the same point going in opposite directions for 6 miles, then turned left and went for 8 miles (the answer I arrived upon was 20 miles apart), that I would be less intelligent than I am now. I’d still have the same brain. Just different frames of references. That’d be like saying all the great warring American Indian tribal leaders are of low intelligence because they don’t know what number should follow 64, 16, 4, 1, 1/4 (I chose the answer to be 1/16).

Anyway, the anti-climactic result they spit at me is as follows, without much explanation:

Congratulations, Cindy!
Your IQ score is 136

A summary of your intellectual strengths from certified staff PhDs
How your IQ compares to others
Average Tickle IQ scores by state
Charts and graphs of your results on 5 intelligence scales
Simple exercises to improve your IQ
The complete answer key to all the test questions

Oh yeah. The test had fill-in-the-blank quotes, too, which required knowledge of some lesser-used words and multi-layered nuances in order to deduce the meaning of the phrase and to fill in with the appropriate word. Anyway, despite knowing that IQ tests are unreliable, I’m still looking for validation in the result: what the hell does 136 mean? How do I rank in the spectrum of IQs of the general populace? I feel swindled that I had to give out my fake phone number for an unsatisfying result. But if they think I’m gonna subscribe to their site and PURCHASE a 15-page IQ report, they must think my IQ is lower than theirs! Which it very well might be, I don’t know because they don’t bother to explain it. Unless I buy the result analysis.

I was half-asleep on the couch last night when I realized Hey, am I supposed to buy Mr. W something for our 1-year anniversary? Oh well. I didn’t. That’s how casual our relationship is, I suppose.

Except that when I came over tonight, there were something like 2 dozen long-stemmed red roses in a large bell vase waiting for me. The vase was even wearing a red skirt that read, “I LOVE YOU!”

I suck.