I’ve stopped sleeping well. When the TV goes off, or when the room goes quiet, or when visual stimuli go away such as when the lights go down or my eyes close, or when my dreams stop and my consciousness returns, my mind is crowded. In the past 24 hours, the usual crowding has acquired a soundtrack: Bryan Adams’ “Please Forgive Me.” So I finally looked up the lyrics today. :/
I need the strength to stop seeing things that bother me. I need the mental and emotional stability to see those things and not be affected. I need to regain the larger-picture heaven-down perspective of life that I used to access.
Or maybe I just need to get away.
No, that probably wouldn’t work; I’m as away as I can be right now, in the Dominican Republic, clad in a bikini top and denim shorts in the VIP lounge of a top-rated resort, I finally debloated so I’m comfortable (relatively) in my skin, and what am I doing? Blogging my mental issues. =P
I’m not sure what the solution is. Therapy, maybe. The yellows seem to be fleeting these days. It takes work and tremendous effort in silencing the head to bring them to the foreground, and only a careless slip caused by lack of concentration, a scent, a sound, a written word, a view, a song, for the dark blanket to settle over me.
I’m fine, I’m fine.
Okay, I’m working on it.
I’m still in Florida, sitting in Jordan’s kitchen bar. It’s 2am here. The only one awake other than myself is James, playing some hand-held electronic game behind me in the family room. My intent was to check in online for my flights tomorrow from Florida to the Dominican Republic, but the airline won’t allow it; because of the international travel they want me to check in in person and show my passport. *shrug*
Meanwhile, here’s a tiny little sliver of what I’ve been up to. As usual, rest mouse pointer over photos for captions.
Wednesday:
Me and Jordan in a respectable photo at CityWalk:
I think this is at Islands of Adventure in some toon island:
Sometimes if you don’t make the leap you don’t get what you want, right?
By the way, we found a hat store. So you know there are some…interesting…photos to come. Here’s one of the mellower ones:
That night we crashed a local very nice resort, which we got to by boat.
We discovered silhouette shots that night.
All the above photos are courtesy Jordan. You know it’s from her camera cuz she doesn’t know how to take off the date stamp. Haha. Here are a couple of photos from Thursday, when we went to Clearwater Beach.
I had to get in there like this…
…and sometimes deeper in like this…
to get shots like these:
Oh, and I also had a mini blogger meet, and I’m not referring to Jordan and James. I got to meet and hang out with a blogger friend that I’d been corresponding with for…hmm…years, actually. I’ll leave it at that for now until I have more time to get into it.
