cindy's world

After Riley sent my mom flowers for her birthday last week, I asked Mr. W, “What if it’s a girl, and she finds all this ‘Riley’ stuff later on and gets all offended?”
He said, “You overestimate how much a kid would care about what you thought. They’re the center of their own universe, they don’t care to read your old blog posts or your old photo comments.” Hmm. And here I’d thought it’d be such a cute college present to print up selected blog posts about the kid in an album or book. Here’s a book about you, what we thought, how much we loved you, starting from before we’d even met you.

I scheduled my full screen ultrasound with radiology for today, my birthday. That way, I’d have the whole day off. What a great present to myself, I’d thought. Mr. W had to work it a little with his supervisors to get it off as well, and by a few minutes after 10am, we were in radiology with a doctor taking tons of photos of the baby’s head, hands, feet, heart, stomach, organs, spine. Everything checked out fine. At one point I saw a little knee raise just slightly, almost like a flinch. I felt it at the same time I saw it on the screen. It was surprising how little movement the baby needed to make for me to feel the twitch. This does not bode well for when the kid gets REALLY active later on when there’s less room. =P
“Do you want to know the gender?” the radiologist asked.
“Yes!”
And she made us wait another 15 minutes while she silently took photos of other stuff. At one point she rested the ultrasound on the left of my abdomen, then turned to look at Mr. W. From my angle I couldn’t really see what he was looking at, I could just see movement and shades of gray, but I turned to look at Mr. W, too. His face spread into a charmed-looking smile. “That’s the baby’s face,” the radiologist explained.

Finally, toward the end, she turned the monitor toward me. “You want to know the gender, right?”
Mr. W said “Yes!”
I felt nervous. I tried to mentally prepare myself to be okay with both genders, reminding myself that I had always wanted a girl, but had gotten used to it being a Riley in the past 5 months of pregnancy, so really, that means I’m happy with either. Right?
We were shown this angle on the screen.

I saw the “hamburger buns.” (I’d done research previously on what boy and girl genitalia would look like on ultrasound.) The radiologist said, “To me it looks like a girl.” I was a little stunned. I couldn’t look at Mr. W, knowing that all along he’d wanted a boy. When I finally turned to look at him, he looked fine. Normal. Still happy.
“Now you won’t have to work hard to stay young enough to throw the baseball around with the kid all the time,” I said to him.
“How accurate is the gender reading?” he asked the radiologist, as I got ready to leave.
“It depends, I may be wrong. But to me it looks like a girl.” She then explained about the hamburger bun looking anatomy between the legs when viewed in from the feet (like the photo above).
Later, in the car, I asked him if he was disappointed. He said, “No, because like you said, now I won’t have to do all the coaching, and all the sports leagues all day long, and driving the kid to and from practice every day. Unless you want her to get involved in softball or something.”
“You’ll have to do a drop-off at piano lessons once a week.” He chuckled but seemed fine with that.

I texted college roommie Diana, who’d been following closely on my whole pregnancy thus far. “So far Rebecca’s accuracy is consistent…looks like an Allison.” I’d told Diana (who’d had a couple of sessions with Rebecca) that Rebecca’s accuracy is claimed to be 85%, although in my and friends’ experience, that’s far too modest. However, Rebecca had always warned us that her predictions of unborn children’s genders are something she’s least accurate at, despite the odds being a 50/50. “God’s sense of humor,” she’d laugh at the disclosure. Rebecca sees the person’s spirit and identity, not an anatomical gender, although in reading past lives she can see an physical image in her head so she was able to tell me that this child and I have had at least one past life together before where I was mom and he was son and took good care of me.
Diana replied immediately, “Wow! Really. Very cool. Congrats. Everything else good?”
“I feel all weird now. Like, what happened to Riley?”
“Haha. Remember, girls will take care of us. Guys will take care of their wives later.”
“Good point.”
Still, I almost cried as I thought about it. Where’d my boy go? It almost felt like a loss, which is ridiculous, and I had to remind myself that the “disconnect” I feel right now is an illusion — it’s still the same soul, same physical baby even, inside of this growing belly that it’s always been. And considering it’s a girl, WOW have I had a blessed, smooth pregnancy. And it’s a good thing that despite being set on “Riley” for a boy name, I still kept running girl names by Mr. W just in case. I liked Ally for awhile, and figured I’d make it Alice, for long, which Mr. W vetoed (along with Kayla, Lilah, Leila, just about every girl name I ran by him). But he was fine with Allison or Alison. I wasn’t as taken with Allison, though even Diana said Alice is an old-woman name and Allison is better. So I looked it up.
Alison – the light of the sun.
Allison – of noble birth.
Allie – The defender, or helper of mankind.
I can live with that. Although I can see confusion coming now — my cousin Diana’s adorable baby girl is Elizabeth Lynn. They call her Elle for short. For the older generation of Asian relatives, they’re going to think Elizabeth and Allison sound the same, and Elle and Ally (I may go with Allie) sound close, too. =P But I guess it was meant to be like that, cuz the name I’d always thought I’d have for my girl was Isabella, Belle for short (which I threw out the window, thanks to the raging success of the “Twilight” series).

Okay, happy 35th birthday to me. A day off from work, AND the discovery of our little Allison with perfectly normal, working parts. Now when I walk by baby stores, I won’t have to point and say all resentfully, “See? Baby girl clothes are SO MUCH CUTER than baby boy clothes!”

I had a checkup this morning at 15 weeks of pregnancy, and got to see Halloween Riley. His bones are developing very well, and structurally, he looks like a little (perfect) skeleton. There’s a big heart beating away in the middle of his ribcage. The head (skeleton skull) is clearly defined now, as with the neck bones, vertebrae, hips, etc. He was lying face-down again, his favorite position, and when I’d laugh or tighten my stomach, he’d do a little dance, nod his head up and down, bring his hands in and pump it a little like he’s housing. (Remember “housing” to stuff like C+C Music Factory, my 90s friends?) The doctor noted that he’s an active li’l thing and asked if I’ve been feeling his movements yet. Turns out that the minor uterine spasms and twitches and “gas bubbles” I’d been feeling for weeks now WAS the kid moving about. And people say I can’t feel movement until 18 weeks.
The doctor also checked the length of my cervix. Since I’ve had a big chunk of cervix taken out in the LEEP some years ago, they want to make sure I don’t have an incompetent cervix that will droop and start opening with the pressure of a fetus. I was warned that LEEPs come with a small risk of future premature labor/miscarriage. Since I started this baby project, various doctors have checked and been comfortable with the length of my cervix (which I guess was luckily long to begin with), and today, my OB measured it at 4cm, “totally normal,” he said. Whew.

The human body is an amazing thing (when you’re in tune with it). I still haven’t thrown up, and I’ve been listening to my body. I give it the basic substance of what it’s asking for, and avoid the thing it says it doesn’t want, without questioning, but I later discover that I’d been doing the right things. For example, my sprouts aversion early on confused Mr. W, because it’d been one of my favorite things to eat — I just read last nite that I should be avoiding sprouts, ESPECIALLY alfalfa sprouts, during pregnancy. (It didn’t say why.) And for the past month or so, I’d been wanting lemonade, tomato-based sauces, etc. I’ve been drinking some lemonade (natural when I can get it) and I made spaghetti (not out of a jar) over the weekend. Yesterday, in my reading, I also found that I need to eat lycopene (found in tomatos) and 10 teaspoons of tomato sauce a week oughta do it. AND, turned out, the cravings for sour has to do with my pH balance being more alkaline than normal during pregnancy, so my body was trying to balance back, and apparently tried to warn me to be more acidic (which I’d been careful about because I’d had a stomach ulcer in the past), but I didn’t do it enough because I ended up with a common woman infection last week thanks to the pH in the infected area not being acidic enough, as I later learned.

I still get insomnia here and there, but based on the checkup this morning, the doctor says I’m right on track and doing well. He’s placed my target weight gain at 20 lbs for the entire pregnancy. I think I’m finally up a pound or two, but still not really showing. Mr. W’s besties came by over the weekend to help him with his computer upgrade, and the woman bestie greeted me with a hug, then looked down and said disappointedly that she couldn’t even tell I was preggers. “I wanted to take pictures of your belly,” she said. Doctor said this morning I should start showing at 20 weeks. That’s 5 weeks away. To me, it’s worth celebrating cuz I get to procrastinate another 5 weeks before having to shop for maternity clothes.

I’m back from a weeklong+ roadtrip from home to Vancouver, Canada and back! Gosh darn if the pants I packed and wore at the beginning of the road trip aren’t snugger now, 11 days later. And the doctor said that the baby is too small for me to feel moving around, but I feel deep nerve twinges and muscle twitches, the latter kind of like an air bubble going through the intestine (sorry to imply gas), and I know they’re involuntary cuz they happen when I’m not doing anything. I’m not looking forward to clothes-shopping, but I’m estimating that I have about a week or two left in these regular slacks. That gives me enough time to go into denial and procrastinate another few days. Weight gain is still minimal-to-none at this point, 14 weeks in, but my body dimensions are changing so I’m doing my best to keep stretch marks at bay with daily cocoa butter slatherings. I’ll post road trip stuff soon.

Some quick highlights:
* bought my first baby item (well, item-and-a-half) at Pike Marketplace in Seattle, WA
* found future dream retirement community in Ashland, OR
* over Vancouver, Canada. Over.it.
* enjoyed time spent with NorCal friends, and discovering a long-desired treat: Magnum Bars (Had fun with that one on the social networking site.)
* had a very different homecoming this time compared to the last one upon our return from Italy.

I had my genetic counseling appointment and genetic testing appointment yesterday. The two are recommended for anyone giving birth at or after the age of 35 (I’ll be 35 and almost 5 months at Riley’s due date). The genetic counselor took down my family history and Mr. W’s family history as far as health and birth defects, and drew them on a giant family tree. Mr. W wasn’t there, so turned out his half of the family tree (as told by me to the counselor) is largely wrong. I don’t know/remember how many siblings each of his parents have and when/what they died from and what kids each of them had. 🙁 They’re out of state. Looking broadly at the tree, however, the genetic counselor wasn’t concerned with birth defects, although she was slightly alarmed by the number of my mom’s miscarriages and the number of people in Mr. W’s family with high cholesterol, hypertension and heart disease. I don’t think my mom’s miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities, tho. I think the incompetent doctors in Taiwan messed her up when they aborted the twins she almost had after me. (One had died in utero so they had to abort the other one.)

After the genetic counselor talked to me about my odds of an abnormal baby and the prenatal testing available, I went to my genetic testing appointment. I had already opted for the full integrated screen, which means they draw my blood to test for problem markers in the first trimester (they already did that last week), combine that with the results of a nuchal transparency ultrasound (yesterday’s 2nd apptmt), and give me a preliminary assessment. Then they take more blood in the 2nd trimester, compare those results to the blood results from the 1st trimester, and give me with pretty good accuracy my odds of having a kid with certain common types of birth defects. So I had my first abdominal ultrasound yesterday for the nuchal transparency test. What they’re looking for is to measure the thickness of the back of the baby’s neck; extra space back there at this point in the development means possible Down syndrome. Ideally, the baby should be on its back, turned about 3/4 away from the screen. As active as Riley was in the ultrasound last week, yesterday he would not cooperate. He first showed up face-down and nearly upside-down as if in a forehead-plant, his butt angled up at my belly button as I laid on my back. It took a few minutes for him to turn around and settle onto his back, but he was so perfectly profile that the ultrasound tech couldn’t get a good picture of the back of his neck. She tapped my stomach repeatedly with the ultrasound wand, had me cough, waited, jostled my stomach again, and he would NOT move. She even had me go to the restroom to empty my bladder to change the dimensions in there, hoping he’d resettle into a position she could use. When I returned to the table to resume the ultrasound, Riley was again face-down in his forehead-plant. The nurse thought it was funny that he flips that way when I’m up and printed out that photo to give me, then called the doctor in to see if she would have more luck. The doctor managed to take a useable photo of his neck, albeit upside-down, and took the rest of his measurements with him in that position. After she finished, she suddenly turned the screen toward me and said, “See, we can’t do a thing to make them move, but they’ll just do it on their own.” I watched Riley slowly turn, kicking with his little feet, and finally lay face-up on his back. She checked out a few more structural things in closeup like his hands, arms, heart. I heard the heartbeat for the first time, a portion of which they recorded and measured. And then I was told my preliminary results.
They had tested for some typical and ethnically common birth defects, given my race and Mr. W’s, looking for markers in my blood. All those came out negative.
A “positive screen” for Down syndrome is considered a probability result of 1 in 100; my probability came out as 1 in 400-some.
A “positive screen” for Trisomy-18 (like Down, an extra chromosome that causes mental developmental problems) is considered a probability result of 1 in 50; my probability came out 1 in 62,000-some.
This is great news preliminarily, and if the 2nd trimester blood test confirms these low odds, I can skip the invasive diagnostic amniocentesis and chorionic villi sampling tests.

Something odd, though: Riley’s measuring developmentally 3-4 days ahead. He was supposed to be 12 weeks 0 days old, but measured 12 weeks 3-4 days old, although the doctor said the extra length may be due to the fact that he was floating face-down, elongating his neck. Maybe he wants to come out and play a little earlier than scheduled.

Mr. W and I took my mom, grandma, and dad out for dinner on Friday night for Mother’s Day. I felt bad because with all the doctor appointments and running around we did in the past week and a half, I hadn’t been able to buy my mom and grandma a Mother’s Day gift. They’re also really cheap dates; Grandma chose Boston Cafe (although it turned out she meant the affiliated restaurant Boston Kitchen a few miles away, oops), so the entire dinner with tax and tip included came out to just over $50.

Mr. W and I drove out early Saturday morning to spend the weekend with his side of the family in Vegas and just returned today. We gave his dad a 1-day advance warning (we were supposed to be on vacation all next week, but changed our minds last minute and gave the days back, altho keeping Monday to drive home) that we were coming, and his dad said that just the day before, my mother-in-law had remarked, “I have a feeling they’re coming down to see us this weekend.” Very intuitive of her! We arrived Saturday late morning and ate lunch at Mr. W’s must-have restaurant every time we go to Vegas: Aurelio’s Chicago pizza. Mr. W’s parents and Gamer Bro were with us. Then Sunday, most of the family (all those who didn’t have to work) took my MIL to a champagne brunch buffet at South Point Hotel & Casino. There’s free mimosas and champagne with our meal, pre-poured, and Mr. W and his mom both told me that given my inability to drink, I should grab a champagne/mimosa anyway and give it to them. All of us walked up to the beverage table and got an OJ and a champagne, or so we thought. Turned out the OJ was a mimosa so we ended up with WAY too much alcohol at the table. Mr. W, his mom, and Rocker Brother did their best to drink the table dry, but didn’t do all that well; Gamer Bro finished what he took, his wife and I didn’t drink either one, and the kids’ end of the table drank surprisingly little given that they’re used to drinking and partying. I guess champagne isn’t their thing. Mr. W drank so much that he ended the brunch with a cartwheel at the elevator lobby and dance-swirled his way to the car in the parking structure while holding a laughing 2-year-old niece. Now I know how to get him to take care of babies. I’ll make sure the house is fully stocked with champagne.

This weekend also marks the day I “came out” on the social networking site. I had been pondering how to do it, and thought maybe I’d just jump right into it with a status message that says, “Cindy says goodbye to the first trimester and hello to the second.” However, Mr. W gave me an unexpected opening opportunity. I posted this photo instead, with the following caption:

Hubby surprised me with my first Mother’s Day present.

At first the only comments that drew were from people who already knew, such as Rebecca (who knew before we had even begun the process to get pregnant) and some coworkers (I’ve already been outed at work). I started to think that my coming out post was too subtle. But soon, and then like wildfire, others caught on. I got a bunch of congratulatory remarks, questions, comments, and a bunch of Happy Mother’s Day well-wishes. I hadn’t considered this my first Mother’s Day, but everyone else said it counts, including Mr. W. I even received a voice mail from my cousin Olivia, who put both her young daughters on the phone to wish me a happy first Mother’s Day. It was very sweet. 🙂

My prenatal gym trainer asked me yesterday how many times I’d worked out since I’d seen him last week. I drew a blank, then realized it was because aside from a day of pilates, I hadn’t worked out. My week has been filled with a variety of doctors and patients instead.

First, a vet: Dodo’s been scratching and pawing at his ears, and altho I Q-tip it to clean it out, the tips come out purplish-brown each time and he’s been shaking his head anytime I graze his ear. So I decided I need medication. Yup, two ear infections, bacterial and a touch of yeast. I was given (or rather, allowed to purchase at high cost) ear drops and was instructed to administer drops in his ears twice a day for two weeks. Meanwhile, the vet flushed out Dodo’s ears really well. Dodo did not appreciate that and sulked in his cat condo when he got home:

Next, an urgent care visit: Mr. W started having a lower back pain last Wednesday, and he had an accupuncture appointment Thursday, so he told the accupuncturist about his complaint. She supposedly treated him for that with needles in his knee and somewhere else I can’t recall. She not only didn’t cure it, but it got WAY worse. By Friday he had overall body discomfort, his skin and scalp hurt, he had a headache, and a fever started. All of that was secondary to the increased back pain that became so aggravated he couldn’t stand or sit or lean by Sunday, AND he was having difficulty urinating. Unable to sleep the past nights from pain, fever and discomfort, he finally agreed to go to Urgent Care on Sunday. Given the symptoms and confirmed fever, the doctor took a urine sample to check for a urinary tract/bladder infection, which came out negative. The doctor also ordered a urine culture anyway, to see if bacteria or flora or something would grow so they could figure out what the infection is. In the meantime, Mr. W was prescribed a 2-week course of Cipro antibiotics to kill whatever may be causing the symptoms, as the culture wouldn’t be done for a few days, and was instructed to call his regular doctor on Wednesday (today) if he doesn’t feel better. When we went to the lab, turned out the doctor had also ordered a urine sample to test for the STD chlamydia (which probably wasn’t mentioned in front of me so as to not breach patient confidentiality, and who expects an honest answer if a doctor asked a patient in front of the patient’s wife, “Have you had extramarital sex in the past few months?”). Since the appointment on Sunday, Mr. W’s discomfort and back pain did not alleviate, he continued to not sleep well, not pee well, and his fever raged on. He’d take a few Tylenols to bring the fever down, and it’d work, then the Tylenol would wear off and immediately his temperature would shoot up again. My mom and prenatal gym trainer both suspect kidney stones. (This is a primary reason I gave up drinking sodas years ago, among some other health reasons.) He took both Monday and Tuesday off work, althought he’s back at work today. I wanted him to see his regular doctor today, but he’s being stubborn and he *thinks* his fever broke and he’s feeling less agony. I’ll see if I could convince him to make an appointment for this evening.

My first OB visit: Now for some better doctor visits. I had my first OB visit with Kaiser yesterday. The doctor was very nice and Mr. W liked him a lot. He studied my blood test results, ordered some other routine tests, and did a vaginal ultrasound and physical checkup. Turns out I’m too early in the pregnancy for the anemia to be of the baby’s doing, so I AM anemic. He encouraged me to supplement my prenatals with iron, so I’m back to my vegetarian liquid supplement Floradix (which I LOVE). I lost some weight so I’m actually a pound less now than pre-pregnancy which I was concerned about, but the OB wasn’t concerned. He said I’m healthy and way ahead of his other patients, with whom he has to spend hours explaining proper nutrition, as the trend of pregnancy problems in the OC is overeating, not undereating. The nutritional needs of the baby right now are minimal.
So now the fun stuff: ultrasound. At my angle laying down I couldn’t see the screen in detail, but I did see that the baby was now filling up the previous black void in the uterus. And then this conversation:
OB: This kid is going to TOWN!
Me: What do you mean?
OB: It’s moving around so much that I can’t get a still picture to take a measurement.
[Seeing a profile, then a back, then a butt, then feet. Then a head, a heartbeat, then feet. Then profile, then back, then hands.]
Me: I thought that was YOU doing that, moving the ultrasound around!
OB: No, it’s the kid. Watch. [Holding the ultrasound still. Seeing the front, then the profile, then the back, then feet.]
Me: Does this mean it’s gonna be a kicky kid?
OB: Well, it certainly has that possibility.
Me: Can you tell where the placenta is attached?
OB: It’s hard to tell that right now, but it seems to be anterior…but let me get this measurement first, it’s important.
[Mr. W takes out his phone and starts filming the screen, getting the following footage after the kid stopped dancing quite so much.]

So the good news is, Riley’s developmentally right on schedule, and the placenta does not seem to be over the cervix, which is how it looked in the last ultrasound video. And, he’s sure alive. I thought it was adorable he was all happy and playing in there (which I can’t feel), but Mr. W in his sickly stupor put a damper on it. “I don’t think it’s a good thing that he’s rolling around so much. There’s still a lot of room in there for him to move around, what if he wraps himself up and gets tangled in the umbilical cord?” WAAAAH!!! Well, the doctor didn’t seem concerned. :/

I had my first “appointment” with my regular medical health provider yesterday (transferred out of the fertility clinic). I put “appointment” in quotes because apparently the way Kaiser does it is they schedule me for a phone appointment first before they would allow me to see an ob-gyn. I received the phone call exactly when it was scheduled, snuck out of the courtroom during our trial and into judge’s chambers, and had my half-hour appointment. It was basically information intake. I guess it’s a good thing to not waste face-to-face appointment time giving entire family histories of women issues, family birth defect histories, lifestyle habits, etc. The bummer was that I couldn’t get an in-person appointment until a week after the phone appointment, and the phone appointment couldn’t be scheduled until 2 weeks away from when I called, so I was delayed 3 weeks and was concerned that I’d be into the 2nd trimester and therefore unable to do some of the first trimester birth defect screenings. But it looks like I slid in just in time. At the end of the phone appointment, the nurse I was speaking with ordered a bunch of screenings and lab tests and told me to just check into any Kaiser with an gyno department anytime I’m able, ASAP, so that the new OB I’d selected (at random over the phone) would have the results to discuss with me at my in-person appointment next week. So we went yesterday after work.

I did a urine test, and like 6 vials’ worth of blood tests. One of the vials was for a blood glucose test, to rule out gestational diabetes. I was told to go on a 1-hour fast before going into the lab, then I was given a cold lemon-lime glucose beverage to drink. The phlebotomist warned me, “I don’t think you’ll like this, everyone says it’s nasty.” It tasted exactly like Sprite, but uncarbonated, and I told her so, shrugging. “Keep drinking, at the end is when people tell me they feel it. You have to finish drinking this in 5 minutes.” It was fine all the way through. I could drink it all day. “You’re the first one,” she said in surprise. “Everyone else says it’s disgusting.” Maybe it’s cuz I don’t drink soda, so my standards for taste are lower. *shrug* I then returned in one hour for my blood draws.

I got an email notifying me of a general blood result within an hour. White blood cells, platelets, and details of red blood cells (size, amount of hemoglobin it holds, etc) are all within normal ranges. However, I’m a tad low on red blood cell count and hemoglobin, so of course my hemotocrit (HCT), which is the amount of volume the red blood cells take up in the blood, is lower than normal range. I guess I’m a little anemic right now, which is consistent with how I’m more easily out of breath in physical activity. Mr. W and I started a bike ride on Saturday with an uphill climb and I thought I was gonna hyperventillate. My prenatal-specializing personal trainer at the ultra nice gym warned me as much, that a large amount of my blood is being used to nourish the developing placenta right now so I’ll feel fatigued more easily, and that by the 2nd trimester, my body would add 3-4 pounds of blood and catch me up, giving me a “pregnancy high” and resulting “pregnancy glow.” I’ll see what the doctor says, but right now I’m not particularly concerned.

I also got the blood glucose results this morning. They’re looking for a number below 130 mg/dL, and mine was 113. Yay, I don’t have gestational diabetes!

I’m sure more results will be trickling in over the next few days, the scariest one being a preliminary screening for certain markers of some birth defects.

I still haven’t thrown up, although I’ve noted that acid reflux/indigestion can send me into dry heaves. I just have to be careful about ingesting sugars (I’m not eating candy, but refined white carbs like Saltines turn into sugars, and those are bad in my tummy) and acid (an orange and Cutie binge sounds healthy, but my body hated me for it). The crazy empty-feeling dizzying hunger spells have gone away. I’m not even hungry in the mornings. The meat aversion is subsiding somewhat, although greasy fatty things still send me on a mental gag. I also had a sprout/salad aversion that came on the same time as the meat aversion, and I was just told by the nurse yesterday that I need to stay away from sprouts, like alfalfa. Whoa. My body knows its stuff. As for weight gain, I initially went from a pre-pregnant 121.6 to 122.4, so I thought I’d gained 0.8 pounds in the 2nd month. However, now at 10 weeks, my weight is 122.0. What’s weird is that I feel pressure in my lower abdomen, like things are expanding and stretching, but my size 2 and 4 pants fit comfortably as they always have. And yet I LOOK bigger and jigglier to myself in the mirror, despite it not showing up in measurements or on the scale. Pregnancy body changes are weird.

A coworker riding up the elevator with me the other day asked, “So what are you guys doing for Easter?” I drew a blank cuz, people “do stuff” for Easter? Easter is this Sunday, so I expect to be doing what I do every Sunday — visit my parents*. I guess it’s a Chinese thing, cuz Mr. W said his entire childhood and for the childhood of his kids, he’s done “Easter stuff,” i.e. baskets with toys, candies and treats for the kids, egg hunts, etc. I have never had a family-sponsored Easter event, although in grade school one year, my class took a walking field trip to a park a few blocks away, where the teacher and her assistant had hidden a bunch of easter eggs for us. That was a treat. Mr. W claims to be sick of all the Easter stuff he’s been a part of his entire life, so I guess I have to consider what parts of Asian and American I want to incorporate into raising my hybrid kid. He’d be hybrid anyway by proxy living here, even if he were full Chinese. Mr. W stands pretty firmly on getting the kid into organized sports from a young age, which is largely a “white” thing from what I’ve seen (most Asian kids are at violin or piano lessons, or after-school advanced tutoring like Kumon, when the other kids are at sports practice after school). I don’t care for Mr. W’s idea as much. Team sports didn’t treat me well as a kid; there was a lot of peer pressure, mean kids’ egos, and I don’t care for how overly involved parents get into what’s supposed to be coordination- and esteem-building sports. Plus, from hearing my coworkers complain, it takes up A LOT of a parent’s time, and I’ll still be working full-time. I also think about “popular” jock kids I’ve known. I now suspect that they’re popular because they’ve been playing sports with other kids since they could walk, so of course in high school they’re in the “in-crowd;” everyone already knows each other. This then opens them up to keg parties and stupid popular kid trouble-making things (sex & drugs, *shudder*) when they’re teens. I REALLY don’t like that. Maybe Riley** wants to be a concert pianist instead, and cure cancer on the side. Who cares if his half-sister was cheerleading captain and half-brother played baseball, right?

* Speaking of my Asian parents and Good Friday, this morning my mom forwarded me an email joke about a talking parrot from a whorehouse. I’m pretty sure she’s unaware of the sanctity of this weekend for Catholics and Christians. I remember begging, BEGGING her to dye eggs as a kid cuz I just wanted the experience and those egg-dyeing commercials that come on between She-Ra and The Transformers make it look SO fun and magical. I have to this day NEVER had the experience of dying Easter eggs. It’s probably going to be a big disappointment if I ever do — likely messy and not magical at all.

** Speaking of Riley, next Tuesday is a county-wide event: Take Your Son/Daughter to Work day. The courthouse sponsors a tour and a snack, and the kid gets to see what we do all day and how the legal system is run. I think it has some value, since a courthouse is part of our government and many people at some point have to have contact with courts, if not on a personal legal matter, then on jury duty. It’s our civic duty. Plus, there’s something to be said about visiting lock-up and scaring the kids straight. Obviously, I’d never participated in Take Your Son/Daughter to Work day before, because they don’t allow cats, and because my mom never invited me along. I wrote her an email some years ago, when this event was advertised, “Hey mom, does your department have this program? How come you’ve never taken me to your work?” Her response was something terse, to the effect of, “Chinese parents don’t do this because children should be in SCHOOL on a weekday!” I guess I’ll be participating in Take Your Son/Daughter to Work day this year. But then, I’ve been doing a private taking my son to work for the past 7 weeks. I don’t think leaving him at home at this point is a good idea.

I (and Pilates) didn’t kill the kid! This is a video from my Wednesday morning appointment. The doctor is taking a measurement of the baby (and my uterine cavity, and each ovary, but that’s not on the video. You’re welcome.). Mr. W shot the video on his phone, and if you can look past the beginning when his hands are shaking, you can make out the baby’s rapid heartbeat in the middle of his chest. It looks like a flashing.

This marks my last appointment with the fertility clinic (which staff has been SO GREAT). I donated the 2 vials of Follistim I didn’t use so that it could save a future IVF patient $300. At 8 weeks, I’ve been told I may be transferred to my regular OB now. I made the appointments with my regular medical provider for 2 weeks away.

This week, I also had a visit with a personal trainer at the ultra nice gym, who specializes in prenatal exercise. He knew a lot and explained medically, biologically the changes that my body would be going through soon, and what that meant as far as my posture and agility changes, how that kinesiology can be supported and eased with what exercise. I’m meeting with him for three training sessions soon. Apparently, a pregnant woman can exercise from the beginning all the way to the day she delivers, if she does the right things. I learned why the doctor wanted me to drop the weights so significantly. That hormone Relaxin, that softens all the cartilage/tendons/ligaments so your body can stretch and change for pregnancy and prepare labor? It affects all the joints’ facia, too, which means if I’m careless doing heavy freeweights and not watching my range of motion, the lack of support with softened joints can cause my limbs to hyperextend, even popping out a joint (YEOWCH). So yes, nothing that’s jerky, twisty, fighting gravity too much. Machine weights are a good alternative. He also advised me to keep my exercise heart rate below 140-145. That was a little difficult, as I’m out of breath more easily now and my resting heart rate is 5 bpm faster than it was pre-pregnancy. But keeping the heart rate lower, he explained, is key to preventing overheating the baby during exercise. I guess I’m sticking to easy cardio, such as the elliptical trainer, from now on.

Mr. W has been receiving a newsletter from whattoexpect.com every few days (*nudging Flip Flop Girl*) with advice that tracks exactly where I am in this pregnancy. He’s been calling me to his emails to read them, altho I’d hoped he’d read them himself and fill me in on the pertinent stuff. He does look at the occasional newsletter if the headline interests him, but mostly, they’re saved for me to delve into. A newsletter I read just a moment ago talked about fatigue I’m likely going through now, how normal that is given all the extra stuff the body is doing, and how to combat this fatigue. I haven’t been fatigued; in fact, I still had insomnia the past few nights. I had no issue walking a brisk 3 miles at lunchtime today, and despite the slightly more labored breathing and raised heartbeats I’d already described, working out this week hasn’t knocked me out. In fact, my morning sickness is now barely noticeable. I read on to see their fatigue cures. Don’t reach for the caffeinated frappuccinos, candy bars, or energy drinks, the article warns. They cause a crash and are very unhealthy for both mom and baby. Instead, bring up nutrition by eating these proteins (e.g. cheese, poultry, tofu and soy products, legumes, quinoa, nuts/seeds), these complex carbs (e.g. fresh fruits, dried fruits, fresh veggies, whole-grain breads/crackers/cereals, baked potatoes), and these iron-rich foods (e.g. spinach, dried fruit, soy products). These are things I’m eating now, anyway! I bring a bag of wholesome carbs and nuts/trail mix, 3 varieties of fruit, and a stick of string cheese or yogurt to work with me and graze throughout the day. I had a craving for a baked potato last weekend, and Mr. W indulged me by taking me to Claim Jumper and ordering a rack of baby back ribs (for him; I still have my meat aversion) and selecting the baked potato as his side (given to me, of course). A similar article from the same newsletter teaches moms-to-be to combat cravings by substituting unhealthy cravings (such as for candy bars, things that give you little nutrition but a big crash afterwards) with similar healthier alternatives, which I already do, too.

I might just be one of those lucky people for whom pregnancy is manageable in the first trimester, when a lot of people suffer from the crazy hormonal fluxes. I am certainly appreciative of not having to experience morning sickness for another 6-8 weeks until I reach the second trimester. But couldn’t it be possible that my body is having an easier time because it doesn’t have to try every trick in the book to get me to eat the nutrition it and the growing baby needs? I keep comparing the pregnancy experiences of a particular acquaintance — miserable, cranky, and huge as early as 3-4 months — with those of my friends who are nutrition- and exercise-savvy. The latter friends had all enjoyed their pregnancies and despite having had down-days, too, had overall uneventful and unproblematic pregancies and deliveries. I hope to join their ranks. But if I don’t, you guys will know.

I hadn’t had morning sickness in quite a few days, and it was making me concerned. Andrae came by to visit on Saturday as he was in town for some karate practice, and we introduced him to The Counter. (He was blown away by the burger joint.) That late lunch ended up being my first meal, and despite sleeping through breakfast, I didn’t feel sick. I carbo-loaded at lunch with a veggie burger, parmesan fries (SO amazing) and a peanut butter shake, and it got gaggy after I’d eaten it. But not morning-sickness gaggy. I had a baked potato with butter and mayo (a childhood favorite, the only time I’d eat mayo) for dinner. Sunday, we got up and hit the road for the Renaissance Faire, thinking we’d stop for purse-sized snacks on the way, but didn’t. I didn’t eat until late lunch time again, when I shared an incredible “cottage meat pie” with Mr. W (pieces of steak and veggies) and had a spanikopita at another booth (meh, greasy). Hubby had a steak gyro. For dinner I steamed some pork, leek and black pepper dumplings, organic broccoli from Maggie’s garden, and had a slice of cheese toast.

So it looks like much of the meat aversion is gone AND I’m not sick? Uh-oh. I started thinking back. My first Pilates class after I was cleared to exercise did focus pretty intensely on core and ab stuff. Did I accidentally kill the kid last Wednesday in Pilates? I didn’t cramp or spot, though. My morning sickness, a response to the hormone hCG, shouldn’t be going away until the beginning of my 2nd trimester, which is still 7 or so weeks away!

I started responding to people’s inquires of “How’re you feeling?” with explanations of how abnormally and disconcertingly fine I felt. They all pretty much told me not to worry, they’re sure Riley is fine. My court reporter told me she ran a 10K 4 months pregnant and was fine, and that if the pregnancy is healthy, a little exercise that my body’s already accustomed to doing isn’t going to be a problem. Rebecca and I were exchanging an email string discussing some business, and she asked how I was feeling. I wrote to her the same thing. She laughed, called me silly, and said she still has a feeling of fullness when she thinks of me so she’s sure I’m still pregnant, and that my Wednesday Pilates can not kill a child.

So what happens when one complains about a good thing too much? “Oh, you wanna feel sick? Here ya go.” Right in the middle of my gymming yesterday, after a set of crunches, the nauseating feeling came back. It could have been triggered by the supine and rocking position, since pregnancy causes the muscle between the stomach and esophagus to relax, making puking a more common response to gravitational shifts (among other things). But still, the feeling came and didn’t go until I’d fallen asleep. Late night, it became an acid reflux sensation.

Well, I feel fine today so far. If the pregnancy nausea lessened this dramatically, maybe I still will be lucky with just 3 weeks of morning sickness through my pregnancy. By the way, there are some studies that link severe morning sickness with having a girl. Something about a conflict or reaction of hormones between mother and child.