cindy's world

That…was…AWESOME!!! =) =D
And when was the last time I used that word? 6th grade?

My dad was right; the first thing they teach you in jujitsu is how to fall. That made me a bit nervous because of how sore I was from overtraining last Saturday. The half-hour stretching and warmups to kick off the class totally loosened me up, however, and I was fine. After drills of falling back, falling left, falling right, and getting back up in fighting stance, we learned how to turn a defense move into an offensive one by using the attacker’s own momentum against him. I’m gonna need more exposure to get the “feel” of movement. It makes total logical sense to me about transferring the momentum in an arc, the arm twists and the regaining of control. I’m just gonna need time for it to become second nature. I’m gonna have plenty of chances to do that, because the instructor asked me to go in tomorrow evening for the more advanced class. I think I will, just to expose myself more.

The chemistry of the class was great. We had a mix of levels, altho it was a beginner’s class, and everyone was very nice and helpful and seemed to have good senses of humor. I put on my open-minded outgoing clowny persona and it faired well with the class. I hung out after the class and watched some of the more seasoned students practice grappling with each other. Their throws and combinations look really cool. (I did some “throws” and was “thrown” a bit too, but those were more like controlled rolls.) The instructor was very nice and seemed to take a genuine interest in my learning.

As a social observation, it is endlessly fascinating to me how in a new environment with complete strangers, we (I assume I’m not peculiar in this) instantly cubbyhole people into caste categories we’re familiar with. There are the girls we’d want to hang out with, girls you know are gonna be at the bottom of the skill level, guys whose skills you admire and would want to hang out with, guys who are around your level and would probably end up being the guys you hang out with, and guys who are creepy and you want to stay away from. One creepy guy stood around too close to my personal space and had his top off for way too long while he was changing between T-shirt and the martial art robe top, whatever those are called. One guy in the “guys you admire” category instantly caught my eye because he looks like a (much) better looking version of someone I had once taken a fancy to. I also chatted w/the instructor and 2 other more advanced students after the class and made some new friendships.

Sometimes you’re somewhere you just know you’re supposed to be.

What do “gams” refer to, anyway? Butt or legs? Both? Well, both apply.

Wow, I missed a day of posting for the first time since I started this blogsite. I got home really late last nite (or rather, early this morning) and yet I still chose to take a shower before bed, which kept me wide awake so I decided to read Calvin & Hobbes to relax me into sleep. That didn’t happen until 3a.m. and I got up early enough to still be at work this morning just a few minutes after 8a.m. Ugh. (“This early to bed, early to rise thing sucks,” I told a friend this morning. My friend said, “You’re supposed to go early to bed the night before, not the same morning.” I retorted, “Well, they did not make that clear in the quote!”) I think I’ll skip the lunchtime workout today and take a nap. I’ve got 2 hours of jujitsu after work today anyway.

How’m I gonna get thru my first jujitsu class when I can’t even bend my knees very far? Walking down the stairs was so difficult this morning. List of muscles that hurt, bottom-up: calves, quads, hip adductors, middle/lower back, front deltoids.

I know, how many leaves are around me already?! It’s not autumn! I need to buy a rake already!

Well, this one’s work-related. I’ve been inspired to shape up and do some maintenance on the occupational pillar. I’ve been neglecting it for awhile because it’s such an auto-pilot thing for me. I’m gonna put in more effort now.

And in order to shape up work, I need to shape up home and structure my free time better. I started yesterday. Altho I didn’t finish cleaning up the house until 10pm and I didn’t want to start laundry I’d fall asleep in the middle of and have wrinkled or shrunken clothes, I did vacuum the entire house including the stairs itself (pain in the arse!), brushed Dodo until he looked much thinner and happier, did an hour of yoga (my body’s off because certain poses hurt me), had chicken soup, then fell asleep early. I fell short there, too… ideally I’d have gone upstairs and showered and gone to bed, but I just knocked out and had to shower this morning before work. I’ll try again tonite.

This morning I was up at 6:30am 😮 and showered and was on my way to work at 7:20am. Because I was in the work neighborhood so darn early, I decided to go to Starbucks for a treat. “Grande caffe mocha with soy, please.” The lady said, “I’m sorry, we just ran out of soy.” Who runs out of ingredients at 7:30 in the morning?! I walked dejectedly out of there and treated myself instead to a Jack in the Box breakfast. Actually, I’m gonna check and see how many calories that meal set me back by. The important thing is, however, that I was AT WORK BEFORE 8AM!!!!!!!!

I was at my parents’ house last nite for my usual weekly visit. I thought I’d run the motorcycling thing by them and see how strong the parental reaction is.

Me: Dad, have you ever ridden a motorcycle?
Dad: Yeah.
Me: I’m considering getting one.
Dad: Well, you should be okay learning because you already know how to ride a bike. They’re somewhat similar. But you get more of rush and a feel of power when you’re on a motorcycle.
Mom: That’s dangerous! It’s flesh hugging steel. [Translated Chinese saying is that a bike is “zen bao tieh”, flesh hugging steel, as opposed to a car, which is “tieh bao zen,” steel hugging flesh.]
Dad: It’s not that bad.
Me: I plan to take the full courses, learn about the bike and everything, not just buy a bike and try to ride it on my own until I can take the DMV test.
Dad: That’s good, because then you can do the simple repairs by yourself, too. It’s of course a lot less complicated than learning the inner workings of a car.
Me: Yeah, I also don’t want to be in mid-ride and unaware that something’s wrong with my bike.
Dad: That’s good. What kind of bike are you thinking about? A cruising bike or a street bike?
Me: I don’t want a Harley. I want a street bike.
Dad: Harleys give a comfortable ride! But you can get a street bike that have the really wide tires, and your posture on those bikes are different. You can turn at a very steep angle and almost lay the bike flat on the ground without scraping your knees on the asphalt. You can’t do that in a cruising bike.

Either my dad knows I’m really responsible and trusts me, or he has never really loved me.

Today was supposed to be such a great day. [Except for the flaking.] After work, I went to Cypress and registered as a continuing education student and enrolled in the Jujitsu class. I had to pick Jujitsu over Kenpo Karate because Kenpo is held Saturday mornings, whereas Jujitsu is held Mondays and Wednesdays. I email-planned with my college roommie today to fly up north and visit her + friends for the July 4th long weekend, which means I need my weekends free. It felt good driving out of Cypress, a student once again (albeit not a Bruin this time), with a student parking permit for the summer semester tucked in the center storage compartment of my car. I was flying high. Class begins June 27. [I hate flakes.]

From Cypress, I drove farther south to Irvine to the Blackmarket Bakery for the Artisan Breads class, and arrived half an hour early, enough time to grab a quick bite and find the place. I met up with my court reporter and her twin brother at the bakery. We made from scratch Walnut Pain Au Levain (basic sourdough), Ciabatta (italian slipper bread), Challah (Jewish braided bread), and Sourdough Multigrain (this is English and should thus be self-explanatory). Fresh bread has amazing aroma, texture and taste. My entire downstairs smells like a bakery right now. I know this because I just went downstairs w/my camera to take photos of the aforementioned bread in my kitchen. [Flaky people SUCK.] The class ended almost an hour later than it was supposed to, but hey, I do have four pounds, four loaves of bread to show for it. What am I gonna do with all this bread? [This wouldn’t have been an issue if certain people weren’t flakes.]

Today I took the first major step in crossing stuff off my “goals” list. I should remove the motorcycling thing [and replace it with “never associate with flakes”]. In a phone conversation yesterday evening, I was given the suggestion [by a flake] to add “kiteboarding” to the list. It’s sort of a cross between parasailing, snowboarding, surfing and waterskiing. “It has you written all over it,” I was told, “because it’s athletic and looks like work.” I suppose it more realistically and more comparably replaces motorcycling than helicoptering does. [I’m so pissed; the flaking chased away all the sunshine that was so bright over my day earlier.]

My staff and I had a conversation today about how “living” is not to spend countless hours every night at a bar, stationary except for the constant arm movement lifting alcohol to mouth, forking over hard-earned money in exchange for useless calories and inebriation. Living is visiting important friends and meeting his/her friends, and doing things like bike rides in beautiful wine country, creating friendships, new perspectives, and memories. When I look back over the last couple of years, it looks like a life in shadow. Blurry, cold, frustrating, drudging. Trying not to get dragged down into the sludgy viscosity, trying to watch deluded drunk men’s backs as the only sober person, while trying to watch my own back to keep from being dragged into barfights or destruction of others’ personal property. In wonderous contrast, where I have been the last few weeks is sunny, colorful, vibrant. This is living! This is learning, experiencing, growing. I hope I never again become stagnant like I had been.

I’m having trouble registering for my Kenpo Karate class online, so I guess I’ll do it in person later on in the week. It won’t be tomorrow, tho, since I will be attending a specialized bread-making class after work. 🙂 This is living!

I really want a Sea-Doo, too. Maybe it’s midlife crisis. I have what appears to almost be a death wish. I want more speed! I want to master more elements! Land, air, water! If I hit all the goals, I’d be a race bike riding, helicopter flying, martial arts ass-kicking law enforcement surfer chick. I may as well apply for a job as a Charlie’s Angel. Plus I’m sorta tri-lingual.

I just returned from lunch with my coworker. When I packed up my gym bag this morning, I’d forgotten to pack tennis shoes, so I had to nix the lunchtime gym visit. I told him about my list of things I wanted to do before turning 3o, and he was adamantly against the motorcyle thing. He said it’s a “death wish” and even tho I’d be a careful recreational rider, there’s no way to guarantee that the idiots in the cars around me wouldn’t run into me. Yeah, there ARE a lot of Corollas out there. To back up his point of how dangerous motorcycling is, he told me that California law enforcement is in the process of trying to do away with all motorcycle cops due to the high rate of death/dismemberment in today’s traffic conditions.

So what’s the new plan? I can replace motorcycling on the goals list with getting certified as a helicopter pilot! If I take the actual courses and get licensed, I can apply for a helicopter position with the LA County Sheriff’s Department. I have no problem passing their written exam (I’d taken it once already just to keep an ex-boyfriend company while he took the exam, and I only missed 2 questions. Apparently, people study and study for it and can’t pass, so I don’t expect a lot of intellectual competition.), I look forward to the physical training/conditioning, and it’s a low-risk job since I’ll be in the air and not on the ground being shot at in the action. How many quotas would I fulfill? I’m a college grad, I’m a minority female, minority Asian, at an age when I’m trainable and in good physical shape, AND I’m gonna already be licensed to fly a ‘copter so they don’t have to train me on that, and I know they have a shortage of pilots right now. If I still want to pursue writing, this’ll give me better benefits and pay and more free time. If I get bored or want to retire, I can always fly for the news or for traffic conditions, or just be a private pilot.

Why not?! Like I have anything better to do with my time right now.

Okay, I gotta go register online for my Monday/Wednesday evening Jujitsu class now. It’s gonna be a little weird since the 2nd class is on my b-day. Maybe I should take Kenpo Karate instead, that class is only on Saturday mornings. I think Kenpo is better for me anyway, since Jujitsu focuses more on grappling, throwing, wrestling-type moves. I’m partial to kicks and punches and I’d prefer my enemies to not get too close to me where I’m gonna toss them over my hip.

A friend I was talking to about my goals (see Goals entry, below) suggested I add “become a pilot” to the list. That reminded me of my cousin telling me after her first hot air balloon ride that apparently, you can acquire a certification or license as a hot air balloon pilot with something like just 10 hours training. So that’s what I told my friend. He met me with silence. I continued by saying how cool it would be to have this conversation at a cocktail party:

Stranger: So what do you like to do in your spare time as a hobby?
Me: Oh, I’m also a pilot.
Stranger: Really? That’s so cool! What kind of plane do you fly?
Me: None. I fly a hot air balloon.

My friend said, “You can take something so cool and make it so lame.”

In a conversation with a friend last night, I realized that as my journey of self-discovery unfolds (I am figuring out who Cindy-the-person is when she is no longer Cindy-the-girlfriend), there is a lot of fun stuff I want to do, and I should put them in a list and add a deadline. Age 30 is a good deadline for me. That gives me a year and almost a month. That’ll light a fire under me to flesh these musings out so that I’m not just talk. Plus, now is a great time to do these things as some of them are quite irresponsible and I won’t put my future kids or family or body thru it when I would require a longer recovery time after I age a bit more. In order of increasing difficulty/realisticness:

1. Stay at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego.
2. Get back into kickboxing or take up a new martial art.
3. Take an automobile simple mechanics course. At least so I can change my own oil/tires.
4. Learn to surf.
5. Stay at a bed-and-breakfast at the Niagara Peninsula.
6. Buy a motorcycle.
a. Learn to ride said motorcycle.
7. Lose another 10 lbs without chopping off a limb.

The college roommie and I have discussed #6 recently. We decided we shouldn’t start with Ducatis because we should train on cheaper bikes (like the Honda CBR600F4i, pictured above) that we wouldn’t mind scratching up or scrapping if we decide it’s not for us. Working our way up to a Ducati is a nice goal. We would be responsible – both of us have a lot of common sense, we’re careful, we’d read all the manuals and take the appropriate courses and be safe weekend riders – and then our innate lameness took over and we decided I should get a yellow bike and she would get a blue one so that if we rode together we would form Bruin colors.

Hey, how would we form Bruin colors if she’s a bizillion miles away from me? I’m not flying a bike up there when I visit her, and I’m certainly not gonna ride all the way up there and have all these bugs stuck in my teeth.