cindy's world

I just returned from the gym. I hadn’t set foot in a gym for 2 weeks because I hadn’t had the time or the energy (and barely any sleep). I felt guilty and sheepish going in. Luckily, people I know just welcomed me back w/o giving me a hard time.

It’s scary, dismaying and frustrating how the body deteriorates after just 2 weeks. Looking at myself in the locker room mirror, I’m puffier in certain areas than I was even last week. On my bike warmup, I was out of breath before I started sweating, which means my cardio’s off and my metabolism’s on low. I fully planned on doing a solid weight training session for an hour or so, but I didn’t have the stamina. I supersetted chest press/lunges/single-legged dumbbell rows, 3 sets each, and then I hit abs (hard) and lower back. I did get all the major muscle groups burning (thereby “activating” more calorie burn), but I didn’t get as many exercises in as I thought I could.

3.5 weeks before Cancun. If I do weight training at lunch and cardio after work daily, I should be able to tighten up just fine. I hadn’t gained much weight, probably a couple pounds, and my body fat percentage hasn’t budged. I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I was so geared up to finally hit the gym today, and not just some wimpy workout. I wanted to slam the weights, carve into my abs, go until my legs couldn’t support my weight any longer.

And then my judge announced his intent to work us through lunch.

As my jujitsu instructor would say, “Stercus accidit.”

I think I am officially in a workout funk. I’m usually very good about hitting the gym every lunch, plus something after work (jujitsu, straight-cardio like running or elliptical). The last time I’d been to the gym was last Tuesday. There’s been excuse after excuse since then, and other lunchtime plans, so I just told myself I’d take a week off. Well, today’s Wednesday, but all I want to do right now is sleep. I did yoga last Wednesday, so I can scrape by with the justification that a week off ends today so I should go to the gym starting Thursday (tomorrow).

Yeah, I’m gonna take a nap for lunch today.

Some “official” info on sleep deprivation (thanks, Jade), quoted in pertinent part only:

With enough sleep deprivation, it has been found that some begin to
hallucinate and develop mood swings. Higher-ordered cognitive tasks become
more difficult to do where it has been shown that tests that require speed
and accuracy have lower results compared to those that are not sleep
deprived. Judgment is also impaired; it has been tested that riskier
behavior is more likely to occur when sleep deprived.

Had I known yesterday that I’d have a medical, scientific, biochemical excuse for my behavior, I would’ve done more stuff.

(Of course I’m kidding. I think. Don’t think less of me; my judgment’s impaired.)

My body was sore from overdoing a workout Tuesday, so yesterday, I made an impromptu massage appointment at Glen Ivy Day Spa in Brea for 7:30pm. Man, that place is popular. On a Wednesday nite, the only slots they had left were 20 mins at 5:30 and 20 mins at 7:30. I wanted an 80-minute but oh well, guess I’ll have to save my money for something else.

I got there an hour early to enjoy the facility. The first place I went to is the empty Garden Tea Room to fill out my waiver and consent form. That room is amazing! It’s got quaint little conversation areas set up all over, plus a large blazing fireplace on the far wall with cozy seating and lounging areas around it. There were ample stone tables to do work, and low soothing music was playing. I could see myself there with a spot of tea working on my (soon-to-be-purchased) laptop, organizing my notes and writing my book. Next, after putting my stuff away in the locker room, which has windows into garden-looking enclosed areas, I sunk into the kidney-shaped whirlpool. There was only one other person in it, and it was large enough that sitting at a certain angle I couldn’t even see her. Instead I faced the large glass wall that opened into another garden-like area. Then I laid for 15 minutes in the sauna. The temperature of the sauna and the whirlpool were perfect. Most of these places tend to have the water/steam too hot, and I have to get used to it while feeling like cannibal dinner. Cold wet towels on ice were provided in a large brass bowl by the sauna door. All the sinks were large round brass bowls. It all looked very neo-Roman. 10 minutes before my massage appointment time, I got into the robe and spread out in the women’s lounge with complimentary cup of their Serendipi-tea. They had sliced cucumbers on ice in the lounge, too, for our puffy eyes. I didn’t use any as I did not want to risk pouring hot tea down my chest.

The massage therapist, Carla, was wonderful. It was probably the best massage I’d ever had. She had a unique way of applying pressure, and she explained that she was trying to distribute the lactic acid buildup in my muscles so that the soreness would go away faster. At the conclusion, she agreed with me that yes, I did need a longer massage as all my muscles are tight. (Maybe I’m not stressed and they’re just tight because I work out. HAHA, right.) I was in this fuzzy sedated heaven state when I teetered out of the massage area back thru the lounge into the women’s area, and I jumped into their shower. Oh! Shower bliss, too! A large overhead cylinder dispensed rainfall-like hot water onto my head. A regular showerhead on the left wall gave me the diagonal blast for my upper back. The right shower wall had a lower, more focused showerhead that gave me pressurized water onto my lower abdomen or lower back, depending on which way I turn. And of course, complimentary Red Mineral Clay shampoo, conditioner, shower gel. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it home last nite.

Seriously, the drive home, I felt drunk. Or high. It felt like my body and spirit were padded in a cozy soft envelopment, and nothing could touch me, physically or mentally. I finished off my night at home with yoga and fresh grapes.

Good gawd, when have I become one of those people who felt guilty for not working out twice a day? It’s past 4am, and I’m mad at myself for falling asleep until now. I did abs and weights at lunch for 45 minutes, and now I’m considering hitting the gym to do cardio for an hour or so. Should I go back to bed, or do cardio? I know in 8 hours, I will be at the gym again. I figure I’m one of the two below:

1.) guilty for carb intake yesterday – a generous quantity of homemade ciabatta bread my court reporter made, consumed with actual butter; more Japanese rice crackers; 3/4 graham raisin bagel; lots of Trader Joe’s pumpkin flax seed cereal (omg, new favorite cereal) w/1% organic milk (can’t tell the difference)
2.) getting that weird OCD/anorexic overexercising thing where people think they’re fat but instead of starving or puking they try to burn the calories off by obsessively exercising, all tracing back to some underlying feeling of inadequacy and loss of control.

Foodwise, Wednesday was terrible. Whilst discussing a technical deficiency in a divorce case I’m working on, I mentally counted that as of 3:30pm, I’ve already had seven pieces of chocolate. They were all bite-sized stuff, like those individually wrapped rectangles of Hershey’s and Dove chocolates, but still. Seven. I decided I had to eat healthy that point on, so I went to Trader Joe’s after work. I bought flax seed cereal and organic 1% milk, among other stuff. I’ve never had either one. But did I open either package? No. Instead, for the next 15 hours, I continuously ate those soy sauce coated little Japanese rice crackers to the point where I am so bloated right now that my internal organs hurt, and two dots of sores or ulcers appeared on my tongue. Probably abrasion cuts from the rough crackers and add to that the toxic amount of sodium replacing my blood/platelet supply.

Exercise-wise, Wednesday was not bad. I did 50 minutes on this insane elliptical trainer at the gym at lunch, which should’ve burned at least 400 calories, or 4 pieces of chocolate. =P After work, I drove really far to Orange to brush up on jujitsu. Haha, you can always tell when I’m doing jujitsu. 3 new bruises on the inside of my left arm, huge already-purple bruise on the side of my left knee, three forming bruises/swellings on my right shin. After the class (in which I led the cool-down stretches), the instructor, 2 blackbelts (yes, including “the”) and 2 students (me and another girl) went to a nearby Japanese restaurant and had sushi. At least I don’t have to feel guilty about that meal. The dinnertable conversation was fun and funny.

Married Guy (see 7-30-05 post “TOO Friendly?“): Cindy’s gonna lead the class on the warm-up throws.
Me: No I’m not, stop putting words in my mouth!
(This continues for the next few minutes, in which Married Guy “vouches” that I’d expressed desire to lead the throws.)
Blackbelt: Cindy, you’re gonna lead the throws?
Me: No I’m not. Don’t listen to [Married Guy]. A couple of weeks ago he told [Creepy Guy] (see 6-27-05 entry “1st Day of Jujitsu“) something about me claiming to be [Creepy Guy]’s girlfriend, and he would not let it go!
Blackbelt: [chuckling] [Creepy Guy]’s…got a lot to offer…
(The instructor and I made eye contact, and he started smiling, watching me for my reaction, which was to bite my tongue with visible difficulty in self-restraint.)

(Later, as the New Girl led the class on throws and the Blackbelt was next to follow her, she did a back fall, back roll over right shoulder, back fall, back roll over left shoulder. At least, she twice attempted the back roll over her left shoulder and failed twice. Finally she gave up.)
Josh: (jokingly) We’re following [the New Girl]’s lead, right?
Blackbelt: Yes. You have to do it exactly the way she did it. (He then proceeded to do the back fall but did some fancy lift-up back roll instead of rolling over his shoulder.)
Me: That is so not how she did it!
Blackbelt: Are you giving me a hard time? Why’re you picking on me?
Married Guy: She’s picking on you because she likes you.
Me: [Married Guy], stop putting words in my mouth!
Blackbelt: I have a lot to offer, too.
Me: (after hesitation) We’ll see.
Married Guy: See, she likes you. She wants to see what you have to offer.
Me: Stop it! Stop causing trouble!

(still later, during floorwork warm-ups, where we do a lot of verbal goofing off w/the instructor)
Instructor: You guys are all coming in tomorrow, right? Wear your street clothes. We’re not going to work out. We’re going to have a potluck and a movie. The girls are gonna wear grass skirts.
Me: And that’s it.
Random Student: I’m gonna bring a weed whacker.

Had a great time laughing in class, as usual, in-between obtaining new bruises. Too bad tomorrow’s the last day for the semester. The antics are fun, albeit very sophomoric. Wait. Isn’t that what my horoscope warned me against doing today? Oh well, too late now.

This entry is going to be TMI for people who are related to me, or don’t want to see me in a certain vomit-inducing light, so if you don’t want to see me in any capacity but a pristine and innocent one, don’t read on.

(more…)

Speaking of horrible married men, I just remembered there’s this very helpful white belt in my jujitsu class who I think might be flirting with me. But I’m not sure and I didn’t think much of it because he seems quite a bit older and he’s married.

Incident 1: In class before the day of the Kata Contest, the instructor was asking around to see if we were going to go show support for our competing teammates. One guy in the class said, “Do they have those girls in bikini tops and tiny little hot pants who walk around holding signs that say ‘Round 1’?” Married Guy said to me across the room, “You’d be good for that, Cindy.” We all laughed it off.

Incident 2: In class on Wednesday, the instructor reminded us that next week is our final week for this semester. The New Girl asked if he was going to do anything for us on our last day, like throw us a pizza party. The instructor asked if there were any toppings we don’t eat. I said “pineapple.” Instructor said, “Why would anyone put pineapple on a pizza? To make it Hawaiian?” That started the class on wanting a Luau themed party, and one student asked if we’re gonna dress for it. I said, “Yeah, the whole class has to wear nothing but coconuts and grass skirts.” Married guy asked if I would wear a grass skirt. I said if he provided it, I would. He said, “I’ll make it myself!” The class laughed and joked about how he’d make it out of lawn grass, and he said there would only be a couple of blades of grass on the skirt but that I’d already said I’d wear it.