cindy's world

Had a long, productive, and very mature conversation with The Flake on Friday night. We resolved some things and came to understandings on others. I’m in a much better place now that I got all that stuff off my chest.

I’m all for nipping things in the bud. A big problem with the ex is that he would never take my concerns and our problems seriously because he felt they were “no big deal.” That “no big deal” became betrayal, cheating, lying, and ultimately cost us the relationship. You have to take care of things while they’re small, because if you allow these wounds to fester, they become bigger and bigger and soon you have to amputate a limb.

My reporter’s daughter works for Robinsons May, and today there was a treat left on my desk. RobMay is extending their 20% employee discount to friends and family of employees, so I got 2 of these cards to take in for the 5-day discount (which ends Sunday). There are virtually no exclusions! That’ll take care of the Father’s Day shopping, and I just found out that my friend’s wedding tomorrow is semi-formal attire, so I probably want to buy a new dress, too. That’ll keep me busy after work!

I just scrolled down the length of my blog page real quick and incidentally realized how phallic the shape of the Challah is! It’s beautiful in person, and the color and shape is really impressive when you’re looking down at this loaf of bread. But squashed somewhat into a 2-D format, OMG! (BTW, challah is pronounced “HAH-lah” with the leading “h” sound very guttural, like you’re clearing your throat. That just makes the whole deal sound even dirtier.) Maybe my subconscious is trying to demonstrate some Freudian concept.

I had a long chat with Grace’s mother this past Sunday evening. I’ve heard many stories where one or both people in a couple knew upon the first awareness of the other’s existence that they were “meant to be.” I have a coworker who walked up to a fellow stranger student in high school and told her, “I’m gonna marry you one day” and freaked the heck out of her. Decades later, they are still happily married with their three children. I have a friend who dropped his normally bitter and jaded disposition when he met the love of his life on a flight, and glowingly upon his return described to us how, as he watched her connector flight take off from the window of the airport terminal, he thought, “My God – I think I just met my future wife.” We were incredulous but months later, they were wed, she flew to California to begin her new life with him, and has told us since that as she flew off that day, she watched the airport shrink and thought the exact thing – that she had just met the man she was meant to marry. They remain to this day one of the strongest couples I know.

My question is, what is the ratio of people who have thought this and had it happen, versus the people who have thought this and were wrong? You never hear about the “wrong” stories.

I had deliberately held off writing my first entry the day this blog site was set up because it was a bad day and I didn’t want that tone to seep into my writing. Today, however, I log on for the first time to see that my generous blog benefactor had found it appropriate to write the first entry for me by keying a threat. I’ll keep that entry in here, because there is a small truth in his words. Very small. Tiny. Negligible. Those of you who are current with my friendship dues have nothing to worry about.

At this point, I have told no one about the existence of this site, because I don’t know in what form or direction my online presence will grow. If nothing else, the record created on here will show me whether my dark days are truly outnumbered by my happy days (a goal I’m working toward), or serve as a tool for me to seek and display the silver sunlit lining around the ominous cumulonimbus clouds.

That being said, I send a hug to my college roommie for spontaneously emailing in the midst of an email chain 2 days ago, “You should blog. I’m gonna see if Mike has space on his server,” and to Mike, my no-longer-anonymous blog sponsor. (Like you can’t tell by the site address that it’s Mike anyway.) Heh, the parenthetical was totally unnecessary since the only ones who know about this site ARE these 2 people. And here we go… *flexing fingers*

fear me, for i am cindy.