cindy's world

…in many people’s lives when they get to scream (and sometimes without lying)…
I ‘ M e n G A G E D !!!!

Relive the experience time after time like it’s your first. See the comment section here. 😀

I drove up to Mr. W’s place this evening and saw him standing outside aiming his camera at something small in his hand. His next-door neighbor and fellow photography fan was holding a giant sheet of white cardboard-looking thing up against the subject. For lighting, I suppose. Mr. W then played with his photos on his computer while I watched TV and ate some wheat pasta and watched “Malcolm in the Middle” and “The Simpsons” on TV. Finally, I was called into his room where he asked whether the fruits of his labor were blogworthy. So at the risk of looking braggy, I’m posting his work.

Hey look, free advertising for the Lakhi Group’s Pristine Hearts collection! There is surprisingly little information online about this line.

I think my favorite photos are the undoctored ones, #1 and #3. But if you look at #4, his nice camera’s zoom is so powerful that you can actually see the outline of the heart inside the stone.

One of those strange things about existing in today’s technology generation, is that etiquette rules haven’t caught up to technology yet. We have ground-breaking case-law written all the time in court (such as a motion asking the Court for permission to confiscate an employee’s computer to recover deleted e-mail files in defending a sexual harassment lawsuit — what are the privacy issues in this regard, if she used a personal email account?), but who’s writing the etiquette rules? College roommie Diana had called me some years ago on a debate that she and her then-boyfriend had about whether it would be okay to do wedding invitations by E-Vite. Wilco and his fiance are doing wedding RSVPs through their online wedding site as opposed to going through the hassle of mailing, stamping, and making their guests mail back reply cards in the mail.

That being said, I feel a little sheepish that instead of calling all my close friends and family to make some personal announcement about the state of my relationship (which call I’d received from many engaged and now-married friends, which adds to my feeling of sheepishness), my first “official” mention of it is on an online blog, despite the vagueness of its mention.

But because I am the queen of justification, I call on the loophole that despite the fact that I was there when the subject jewelry was purchased on July 20, and despite the fact that I was there when my parents gave their permission on July 29, that I don’t have an “announcement” to make as Mr. W has not proposed and I am therefore not engaged, so this isn’t “the” announcement and I reserve the right to make personal phone calls later upon my actual engagement.

Okay, at your request for photos:

(It’s the “crown”, not the “earring”.)

I don’t like the way I look in this photo, but the professional photographer did a better shot of the ring than I did. And it IS this ring in the picture. It’s weird to walk around knowing I have the advertised item I’m seeing everywhere; the saleslady who helped us said she had to turn away 3 people after us who wanted to see the ring in the ads and brochures, and she had to tell them it’s been sold.

Today, the preliminary numbers have been crunched. Dwaine has given us his magical number-crunching program that he’d written on Microsoft Excel. Scenarios and possibilities have been discussed both with my parents, and later with Dwaine, and probabilities will be tightened in the next few days. Dwaine is a creative financing WIZARD when it comes to real property and the mortgaging biz, it was exhilarating to watch him toss concepts, numbers, and new ideas. Everything looks promising, and I’m getting excited.

On July 20, Mr. W gave me a Pristine Heart by the Lakhi Group.

I’m at my desk processing paper divorces. In reviewing these files, I see a trend. The parties are married for a short number of years, and then I look down and see they have offspring(s) of the marriage listed. The offspring are often older than the length of the marriage. So I can only imagine that the people had a kid or two together, didn’t get married for awhile, and then decided, “Eh, let’s do it, let’s make it official,” and then in a short married time they realize it doesn’t work.

This isn’t criticism, since I have no experience in this arena, but don’t they know beforehand that it wouldn’t work? I mean, there’s gotta be SOME reason the two hesitated in getting married when they first got pregnant, right? So if they knew then they aren’t compatible, why bother getting married when the kid’s like 4, and then it turns out they were right originally and they SHOULDN’T be together, but now they have to go thru formal divorce proceedings and explain to the kid why mommy and daddy aren’t gonna live together anymore? What happened there? Anyone have any stories/examples for me? I don’t think this is about a woman getting knocked up to trap a man, since if that was gonna work, they would’ve gotten married before the kid’s that old. I just don’t understand why, if you’re already holding back, you’d go ahead and take the plunge so much later.

And then it makes me wonder about other stuff, too. My mom says that today’s society is so full of divorce because people (in this country) don’t value the relationship enough to compromise. People these days are selfish, and if something doesn’t make them happy, they just up and leave instead of work toward a solution. Sure there are things you shouldn’t stay and accept (cheating, abuse, etc.), but there are a lot smaller things that people leave over these days. Like finding a porn magazine in his briefcase. I used to think that going from relationship to relationship is just the dues you have to pay to eventually make it to The One. But now I wonder whether today’s fast-paced world doesn’t leave room for The One, it’s just whatever fits in your lifestyle or desires right now, i.e. Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now. Life and times and careers and friends keep evolving, so maybe someone perfect for you now would no longer fit in in a few years when you advance in your career or develop new interests. We’re no longer in a small town life where you can marry your high school sweetheart and stay together forever because all you’ll be doing from that time on would be minding the farm together, and if he can milk a cow now, he’s gonna be great at milking the cow later, and nothing’s gonna change. But if it’s true that life today doesn’t lend itself to stability, then why contractually obligate yourself to anyone? It’s like building an expensive house on a fault line when you know earthquakes hit there every few years and plate techtonics will tear the property apart as a law of nature.

Isn’t that freaking scary?! To think that we may no longer be able to make a beeline toward a juicy rewarding hive; that we’re just spending life flitting from flower to flower, forever.