cindy's world

Some “official” info on sleep deprivation (thanks, Jade), quoted in pertinent part only:

With enough sleep deprivation, it has been found that some begin to
hallucinate and develop mood swings. Higher-ordered cognitive tasks become
more difficult to do where it has been shown that tests that require speed
and accuracy have lower results compared to those that are not sleep
deprived. Judgment is also impaired; it has been tested that riskier
behavior is more likely to occur when sleep deprived.

Had I known yesterday that I’d have a medical, scientific, biochemical excuse for my behavior, I would’ve done more stuff.

(Of course I’m kidding. I think. Don’t think less of me; my judgment’s impaired.)

Talk about utter disregard of the advice in my horoscope. I must’ve been drunk last nite. Except I didn’t drink. So maybe I was delirious from lack of sleep? Went to bed Sunday nite (technically Monday morning) at 4am, and last nite (technically this morning) hit the hay at 5am. And yet today, I managed to look semi-decent for work. I was at the Clerk’s Office downstairs earlier writing file requests and a coworker buddy of mine walked over and said, “Hey. You can’t come down here lookin’ all hot like this.”
“Why, what happens?” I asked him.
“You’re a distraction. People can’t get their work done.”
I thanked him for making my day so early in the morning.

Last nite, walking down the hallway, I passed Dodo who was lounging on the floor. “You should be ashamed of yourself,” he meowed at me.
“You wouldn’t feel that way if you weren’t neutered,” I quipped.

It’s been a very up-and-down day today. I was high as a kite, and then was stupid enough to open an email from someone chewing me out and I crashed again. Then a few more emails from people who actually have positive things to say instead of insults to me, and I’m high again. And after some silence, I’m down. Then I get a phone call from a guy trying to guilt-trip me. Then I got a polite rejection, and I’m not sure where that puts me. I think I’m generally a bit low. And yes, there are hormones contributing to this roller coaster. That and the fact that I didn’t get to bed until 4:30a.

I just retrieved my horoscope for the day, which I wish I’d seen before the day started. Anyway…Jade, this one’s for you, cuz this horoscope apparently just reiterates what you’d already told me earlier:

Today’s Forecast
Sometimes when your own motives are in doubt, it’s best to look the other way instead of rushing head on into a situation. Don’t ignore it, exactly — just put it on the back burner until you’re more sure of yourself.

The Bottom Line
Your memory is a steel trap. What you need to recall will be at your fingertips.

In Detail
An automatic response may be exactly the wrong move to make today, so make sure you think before you do just about anything. A few hot potatoes may get tossed your way, but you can still take a moment or two to consider the best course of action before committing to one way or the other. In fact, just taking those split seconds to get a grip on the situation could make all the difference in the world.

Oops. I’d already done a few things rashly and had, well, unkind results. Oh well. 5 o’clock whistle blew, and I’m blowin’ this joint.

(See 8-20-05 entry, “Friday, and the Promise of Good Things.”)
Brad thought it would be a cakewalk to get his DUI charges dropped, until the surprise witness walked in the door.

We all know “who dunnit.”

Me, Brad & Val reconciled after I took Brad’s bribe and only imposed a sentence of having to take us out to dim sum on Sunday.

I don’t like it when photos are taken by people taller than the subject. We look unproportionally midgety. (I forwarded this photo to the judge. He phoned me from chambers and said in a mock-stern voice, “Ms. [my last name], a photo shows you standing in my well.” I forgot about the evidence of us being in the forbidden space, but hey, it’s my bailiff’s job to keep people out and posing us in the well was HIS idea!)

Yin yang, Newton’s Law, whatever the natural or supernatural forces you choose to believe in, has made the pendulum swing the other way.

The four-star, all-inclusive Dreams Cancun Resort & Spa that Diana and I have had our eyes on has been $213/nite as the best price I could find for the week we’re gonna be in Cancun. Just today, I get an email from Diana that says “dreams is having a super sale, $150 /night.” And subsequently, “Airfare about the same too.”

My response: “OH NO WAY!!!!!!!!!! And we just got a 15-count child molestation criminal trial…this is a great day! A GREAT DAY!!!” We’re gonna book our vacation today at lunch. If anything’s worth missing a lunch or a lunchtime workout for…

I was so excited that when the criminal attorneys came in for their trial and I saw one of my favorite DAs, I actually threw my hands in the air and said “YAY!!!” My boundless joy was so apparent that the public defender, who I do not know well, noted, “Gosh, this is such a happy court.” No one has ever said that about OUR court. Never. Quite the opposite. The judge is in a great mood after seeing the attorneys, too. He respects the DA greatly, and apparently was a juror in a case tried by the PD before he became a judge. He’s all cracking jokes off the bench and laughing.

And just now, I got a phone call from a fellow clerk, who gave me the AMAZING news that a difficult, overly complicated, multi-party car accident civil trial we have coming back in September, has just been settled in its entirety by his judge.

I’m so happy that I’m afraid of the other shoe dropping! Or maybe I already earned this wonderful karma I’m getting today. *dancing vigorously in seat*

You ever felt really practiced in juggling, and then you get out there, start your act with all the confidence required, but as more and more balls are thrown in your loop and the time between moves gets shorter and shorter, you suddenly start panicking and you think, “I can’t do this! What was I thinking?!”

Well, that’s where I am. “What was I thinking?! I’m not ready for this at all! I’m not a juggler by nature!”

Except, let’s make this a bit worse. Let’s say the balls have feelings so that if you drop them, they hurt. In fact, let’s say the balls are tiny little puppies who are counting on you to keep them from hitting the ground and breaking something, and you’re so scared to hear the pained yelp of an injured puppy.

I am.

And now that I’ve written this and then given this post a title, yeah, a better metaphor would be the Chinese saying about how when you’re hungry, you think you can handle more food than you actually can so you over-order and can’t finish it, because it turns out your eyes are bigger than your mouth.

I was telling a friend about the awful IM conversation I had yesterday, and I came up with a brilliant idea for AOL. “AIM should add to its muti-media functions with one of those boxing glove things that come out of the monitor and hits the other person on the head.” I thought it was a great idea and I should patent it right away. After all, I AM close friends with a patent attorney who has been MIA for the entire weekend. *nudge nudge* My friend said, “I think that that would be highly hazardous to men’s health.” Especially men who talk to me. The vision of lawsuits made me tuck that idea away for now.

In another conversation, we were talking about drama queen women who seem to only fall for men who are impossible to get. You know, where she’s out in search of the fairy tale where she has to surpass obstacles and puzzles to win the happy ending against all odds.
“Look, I’ve built a boat out of leaves and sailed thru alligator lake and tricked the evil dragon into eating the enchanted berry so that while it slept I could search thru the cursed castle to find the magical harp so that I could bring it back to you and sing you a song with it to break the curse of blindness that an evil enchantress had cast upon you years ago! How could you not love me?”

Well, it was funny to me. How come no one else is laughing? No one gets me. *sigh*

I met up w/Brad and Val at Sam Woo in Rowland Heights for dim sum this morning. You really can’t beat the three of us stuffing our faces with delicious Chinese food and having the total bill come out to $23. Afterwards, I forced them to drive all the way to The Block at Orange and we walked around, let our food digest, had overpriced Italian gelato, people-watched, chatted, and then after Brad gave me a bag of lychee, they left to begin their long drive home.

I wish I had friends like them who live closer to me. 🙁
But I’m so glad I met them this summer. Thanks. 🙂

Well, I had a pretty wasted Saturday. I did not one thing productive. In the morning, I talked to my friend who invited me to the Los Angeles b-day party and asked her for details. She knew surprisingly little, and then said she’d call me back. I assumed she was gonna get info and then get back to me. She didn’t call me back until 6 hours later, and by then I had already told my mom that I could not attend my godbro’s bbq (send-off party as he’s leaving for UC Berkeley tomorrow), and then I get the call from my friend, and part-way into the conversation, I said, “Wait. If you’re breaking up w/your boyfriend, is the party for his friend tonite still on?” She said, “Well, it is, they’re still having a party, but we’re not going.” Well, thanks for letting me know.

As for meeting up with Brad and Val after they come back from Disneyland? I knew we were going to eat, so I didn’t eat dinner, just snacked on juice and pumpkin seeds and at 10, decided I had enough time to take a nap (Brad’s ETA was about midnite). True to his word, Brad called my cell phone at a little past 11pm to tell me where they’re going to be at 12a, but I was still asleep and didn’t get the voice mail until 1:45a. ARGH! Stupid PMS making me all lethargic. I didn’t even work out, even tho I’d changed to workout clothes and am even now wearing them.

I got into a spat over the phone with someone, because after I answered his inquiry about the godbro concept (how my godbro came to be my godbro), he laughed and said, “That is soooo lame.” I said, “Are you calling my parents lame? You don’t even know me well enough to make that kind of judgment call about my parents,” and it just snowballed from there. After I called Mike and asked for his perspective (he felt that the comment, altho insensitive, was likely not aimed at my parents) and vented, I felt better, and then I logged into email and saw a cutsie little email the same guy had written me Friday afternoon, and then I felt bad again. Well, if I never hear from him again, I can deal with that.

While I was online, someone I had dated for 6 weeks before I started dating my cheating ex IMed me. I was being pretty aloof to his small talk, as I had already told him that I wasn’t interested in pursuing something again the last time he asked me (a couple weeks ago), but then he asked me if I’m “ever going to hang out” with him again. I answered clearly and bluntly, “Probably not.” He seemed miffed, so I explained that the last time I just needed a friend when I found out my ex cheated on me, I thought he understood that and despite his agreeing when I explicitly asked him not to do anything, he was an octopus.

I’m gonna go into detail about this jaw-droppingly delusional conversation, so if you don’t want to read this, don’t click on the “more.”

(more…)

After I sent off Brad and Val in the late afternoon, I turned in the lobby to go back to the elevator when I was stopped by a sheriff friend standing behind the security counter, calling me and waving me over. I stood on the public side of the high counter as he stood inside the little security office facing me. He said in a low voice, “Hey. You wanna see a lobster?”

I looked at him suspiciously. My mind raced with the possibilities of what he may be about to say to me, or worse yet, expose to me. “Is that a euphemism?” I asked. I thought he responded affirmatively, which made me not want to play any further, since there were other patrons of the court, sheriffs, security personnel, and security cameras in the lobby. He whispered for me to go into the security office. I stood there unsurely. “Come in!” he said more firmly. So I did. He pointed me to a nylon canvas mini cooler, and unzipped it. I imagined what would be about to jump out at me as I become the butt of some joke I didn’t yet understand. Nothing jumped out. I peered in.

I was actually looking at a large live lobster with its tail curled underneath him barely contained in the tiny cooler.

Well, I’d suspected they were out to make me feel stupid, and feel stupid I did.