cindy's world

Today is a vewwwwy special day. Today, someone close to me is going to get a lot of attention, especially if I can help it. Today, my maid of honor Vicky turns…thirty-two!! That means another year of her support, friendship, sisterhood under MY belt. Yup. Happy birthday, Vicky!!! I can’t be home to help her celebrate it, but she’s out of town on a mandatory work trip anyway. Poor Vicky.

*popping champagne cork*
I have a bottle of Rose Champagne for you when you get home, VICKY!!! YAAAYYY!!!

It’s weird; both times when I started to feel overwhelmed with the thought of all the wedding planning there was to be done, I barely lift a finger and everything falls into place for me.

While hanging out with childhood friend Lily over the weekend, she mentioned going back to the makeup artist who did her wedding makeup, and hiring her to do her makeup again for her brother’s wedding. I expressed interest in her makeup artist, and days later Lily forwarded me an email she’d written to the makeup artist, Amy, telling her about me. Amy wrote in her response that she was indeed available the date of my wedding and to have me contact her. I emailed her in response, and now we have an appointment/consultation for next weekend. She also does hair, and will go to the wedding site to change my makeup and hairstyle (including hair decoration and jewelry loans) to go with my dress changes. She is pricey though, so I’ll have to see what I can do about the cost.

MOH Vicky, my mom and I went to the Chinese dress seamstress on Wednesday to take our measurements and finalize our individual dress designs. It was my mom’s first time there and I brought her along so that I can buy her a custom-tailored traditional Chinese dress for the wedding, too. Looking at the sleeveless dress design I’d chosen for myself, she immediately went into how I should get a dress with sleeves because I have fat upper arms that I need to cover up. The experienced seamstress vetoed it, saying you can’t have the bridesmaids all formal and pretty in their halter top Chinese dresses and have the bride looking all matronly and conservative overly-covered up, and that my arms are fine. My mom suggested that I do the halter top style too so the line of arm skin looks elongated, lengthening my arm and hopefully making it look less fat. I told her I’d tried on the halter style top and it just makes me look more top-heavy since all you see is flesh. She made me try it on anyway and when I did, she grimaced even more than she did when she saw my original sleeveless dress. The seamstress said I have wider shoulders than the other girls and should stay with my original sleeveless design to cover them up. My mom said accusingly that my wide upper body girth is due to my exercising. The seamstress (remember, she’d previously advised MOH Vicky to avoid weight lifting at all costs for fear of getting bigger arms) asked my mom what kind of exercise I do, and my mom said in that exasperated my-kid-doesn’t-listen-to-me motherly tone, “All kinds! She does martial arts, she lifts weights, she does everything!” “No wonder she has wider shoulders and arms, she put on muscle!” the seamstress said as she and my mom looked disapprovingly at my apparently elephantitis-inflicted upper arms. My mom said that she wanted a sleeved dress as well as she also did not like her own fat upper arms, but at our insistence tried on a few sleeveless dresses which looked amazing on her. I remarked that I don’t know what she sees when she looks in mirrors as she clearly does not have big arms and in fact should wear this fitted style dress proudly at my wedding as she does not have the figure of a mother, and would regret not wearing a dress like this when she’s 80 if she doesn’t wear it now while she can so beautifully pull it off. So my mom ordered a sleeveless dress design, although protesting that she had gained a pound this week and thus feels abnormally fat. I asked her, “So how much do you weigh now?” She answered, “106.” Sigh. WHATEVER. I think I passed her weight in junior high. But anyway, all 3 bridesmaid dresses, my mom’s dress, and my dress are paid for now and we have appointments for the final fit and tailoring in July.

Today (Thursday), Mr. W and I left for Vegas to visit his parents for Mother’s Day Weekend and to bring his brothers their groomsmen tuxes. We’re way ahead of schedule; even if the tuxes don’t fit the brothers exactly, we have time to bring it back and get it tailored or exchanged. On the way to Vegas, we passed by David’s Bridal and I remarked that my bridal gown had arrived months ago at the store waiting for me to pick it up. We decided to stop and get it so we can bring it to Vegas to show his mother, who used to be a seamstress and has offered to hand-make my bridal veil. While in the bridal shop, I made an appointment with their tailor to get a fit and alteration of the bridal gown next week. I also found the perfect pair of shoes for the bridal gown which combines the height and comfort that I so desperately need.

Halfway to Vegas, we decided to stop by the outlet shops near stateline to stretch our legs and wander around. I moseyed into a jewelry store to peek at the wedding bands. I’d given up looking for a band to go with my 3-sided ring as anything I put in front of it would get scratched by the diamonds set into the forward-facing heart, but the store manager suggested a chevron band that may work. The second chevron ring I tried on paired with my engagement ring perfectly with the band pulling away at the exact point of would-be contact with the engagement ring’s protruding heart design, such that it doesn’t touch the front diamonds AND stays low-profile enough to not cover much of the bead-set hearts on the band of the ring. This diamond-lined band retails for $1100, but it was among the last one of its kind in the entire retail chain, on major liquidation, and I could get it for under $300. AND…this retail chain will double the cashback of my credit card points in a giftcard, and I happen to have $140 in cash back, which means $280 credit toward a purchase in that store, which means…FREE BAND!!!

This is turning out to be an incredibly productive wedding vacay after all!

Tuesday evening, I popped in at my instructor’s new bartending class and gave him a CD-ROM on which I’d burned his edited manual. He handed me two salt and sugar margarita rimmers, one for me and the other for Gym Trainee. Since I happened to walk in just as the class went on break, we had time to chat for a bit. He asked me how the bartending competition went and which students showed up, and then he asked where I’m looking to apply for bartending jobs. I told him I wasn’t sure yet, it depended on where we’re moving to. He said that after we settle down into our new home, to contact him and he’ll help me out on the job hunt, as in, he knows people, nudge nudge. NICE!

I also had a lengthy conversation with childhood dentist pal Andy (bridesmaid Sandy’s brother), who said he knows about the overpriced dentist office I’d gone to and that he has a patient who walked into his office with a $11K dental plan from the overpriced office, and pricing the exact same dental work item for item, in Andy’s office (which doesn’t even take insurance), the same plan came out to be about $4K. Now that’s just ridiculous! He then explained to me how doctors’ offices which are under HMO insurance plans find ways to charge patients as much out-of-pocket as possible and to turn out as many patients as quickly as possible, in order to make money because the insurance doesn’t pay doctors enough to cover the actual cost of the patient. So many doctors will sell the patient unnecessary and expensive upgrades, especially upgrades and services not covered by insurance so they can charge whatever they want for it (i.e. the $1275 porcelain filling). He said you see the aggressive upselling most commonly from Asian and Persian dentists. Well, the dentist I saw is Vietnamese and her partner is Persian, what a coincidence. As for my undescended wisdom tooth sitting in my sinus cavity? He said he wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot pole and can’t believe this dentist tried to talk me into oral surgery to dig it out. Andy told me to pick up my x-rays from the overpriced dentist’s office, come see him in his office, and he’ll price his services affordably even without insurance. I told him I can change my insurance to a PPO for next year, so he’s going to check me to see what needs to be done now and what can wait until I get out of my current dental HMO. I picked up my x-rays Wednesday morning (the dental office receptionist was professional about it and didn’t give me any problems) and have an appointment to see Andy next week. Yay!

I thought vacations were supposed to be relaxing, or at the very least, relieve some stress by freeing up time so that we can get stuff done.

I’m on vacation this week and next, and I’d planned to pack it with wedding stuff and house preparation stuff. Yesterday was pretty productive; Mr. W, his son and I went to a tuxedo connection Mr. W had and bought 4 Ralph Lauren tuxes, complete with jacket, shirt, bowtie, vest, pants. Mr. W and his son looked very sharp in their fittings, very 007. The other 2 tuxes are going to Mr. W’s two brothers who will be groomsmen next to Son, who’ll be Best Man. All four are identical classic black tuxes that can be worn again for some formal event in the future. Mr. W and I are visiting his parents for Mother’s Day weekend coming up so we’ll drop off the tuxes to his brothers and double-check the fit, with plenty of time to adjust or tailor if the measurements the brothers sent us weren’t accurate. I remarked how the men are gonna be fancier than the bride with their designer digs. (I’m not a name-brand person at all; I go where the savings are.)

With Monday so productive, I figure I’d throw in a dental visit on my vacation, too. We drove by a dental office recommended by Mr. W’s best bud ex bro-in-law, and the office very efficiently booked me as a new patient for an appointment the next morning at 8a, telling me I can fill out new patient forms online, which I did last nite. This morning, I went in for my visit. Right after the office finished impressing me with their technology (digital full-mouth x-rays!), it all went downhill. The female Vietnamese doctor right away started upselling me on the services, telling me my insurance covers X, but X is horrible and Y is better, nevermind that it costs $735 out-of-pocket more PER TOOTH, times 3. Insurance covers standard teeth cleaning, but THIS deep cleaning is better and necessary, nevermind that it costs $60 out-of-pocket PER QUADRANT, times 4. And my teeth need MAJOR WORK, and in fact, I need SURGERY pronto to remove all 4 of my wisdom teeth, nevermind that I don’t have problems with them and have had them in since I was a teenager. She paused at one point and I don’t know what my face looked like, but she said, “It doesn’t look like you want to get your wisdom teeth removed.”
I said, “I really, really don’t. I’m not a fan of unnecessary surgery and if they’re not giving me problems and my right upper wisdom tooth will never descend, then I don’t see why I should get them removed.”
She backed off quickly and said, “Okay, okay, it’s up to you!” And then she added, “You can think about it and come back when they REALLY start hurting.” WTF?! Why would they start hurting?! They’ve been there for half of my life. My dad went to a bad dentist who insisted his wisdom teeth had to be pulled in his late 40s, so my dad trusted him and had it done. Not only was it painful, torturous, inconvenient and expensive, but the extraction left holes in my dad’s jaws that filled with fluid and gave him a major infection. Mr. W’s dad is having a similar problem with a newly pulled wisdom tooth.
So the cost of this dentist’s services, not including wisdom teeth extraction and all THOSE related costs, is over $3000 out-of-pocket, over and beyond my insurance. I told them a bunch of excuses about how I can’t afford that right now because of the upcoming wedding expenses and turned down their financing options saying I can’t afford for my credit score to drop with the acquisition of new credit because the banks are being so tight with their mortgage lending practices, and walked out of there with nothing but x-rays done.
Then I called an old childhood friend, bridesmaid Sandy’s older brother Andy, who’s now a dentist in Pasadena. (We’re actually attending his wedding in Corona Del Mar at the end of the month.) He told me to book an appointment with his receptionist so he can take a look for a second opinion, and his receptionist suggested I pick up copies of the x-rays I’d just taken with the first dental office. I was uncomfortable doing that, but she assured me dental offices do that all the time and to explain to them I want a second opinion for such expensive services. Apparently it’s not good for the patient to take a lot of x-rays in close succession so they’re reluctant to do it if there are perfectly good current ones in another office. And then talking to the receptionist more, turns out Andy’s practice doesn’t take my insurance. GREAT.

I then called my catering director to make an appointment to discuss and finalize our food and beverage for the wedding, but she was at a meeting and wasn’t available. And then I called my cousin Oliver, who’s a mechanic specializing in Hondas, to ask about ordering a replacement right mirror for Mr. W’s son’s Accord (my old car), since he backed into some trash cans with his mirror and cracked the mirror. Turned out that was $175 because the entire casing had to be replaced, and the thought of MORE money going out just made me exceedingly tired. It didn’t help that I took the time waiting for return calls from Andy to reconcile my checkbook against my bank statement and organized my receipts for my credit card, so now I feel REALLY poor.

My horoscope for today, which I saw right before I started blogging today:
You may feel as if you are running out of steam, whether or not you have reached your goal. Something important is about to shift, but this doesn’t mean you can’t finish your work. Trying to speed up your productivity won’t be effective because sloppiness won’t be rewarded. The truth is that you have more time than you realize. May 6, 2008
My daily horoscope shows up on my internet start page, along with a Word of the Day, which today is:
amalgam: an alloy of mercury with other metals; also, a mixture.
Amalgam is what started all the expenses at the dentist this morning. The silver fillings that apparently cause more problems over time, that you have to drill more aggressively to apply, that fell out of one of my teeth creating a hole in the middle of a molar, that the insurance covers but is not what’s recommended by this dentist for long-term teeth health.

My bartending instructor sent me an email yesterday explaining that he wasn’t at the bartending competition this weekend because his son-in-law had passed away on Friday. He invited me to the first day of his new class today, so I can pick up some margarita salt/sugar rimmers he wants to add to my collection as a thank-you for the editing work I’d done for him. I think I’ll go and stay for a little bit because being at a fake bar is somehow stress-relief for me, too. Playing with colored water. Fun stuff.

This weekend was the United States Bartenders’ Guild‘s National Cocktail Competition & 60th Year Anniversary Celebration in Long Beach. Saturday, Mr. W and I volunteered for the after-dinner cocktail competition located at the Westin Long Beach Hotel. The winning cocktail was made by a competitor from Las Vegas with a drink he called “The Big Easy.” His garnish was a kumquat with a big smiley mouth cut out of it, candy eyes, a small sprig of broccoli hair, and the best part — he stuck a tiny twig of dried rosemary stem into the mouth, LIT IT, and as it glowed red and smoked, that was the kumquat head’s cigar! It was beautiful weather, free food and open bar. We walked away with a big bag of those little 1-oz sized bottles of a new vanilla liqueur by Grand Marnier called Navan and another bag of little bottles of Hennessy Cognac VSOP, leftover from the goodie bags they were giving out to guests. We also got some nice Boston shakers from their Absolut Vodka sponsor and Mr. W scored some nice shirts and an odd handcarved wooden bowl. Since we helped out, we were also invited to the formal banquet dinner that night…at the famed Sky Room in Long Beach! $200 formal dinner, open bar, live 1940s style entertainment, 360-degree panoramic view of the city and the ocean and Queen Mary, for free! It also appeared that I rubbed elbows with some big wigs in the industry. But not as much as Mr. W did; I guess it’s a male-dominated field or he just looks more professional than me, but he walked away with tons of contacts and business cards. The only downside to the night was a big group of rowdy disrespectful people who ended up sitting at our table, and they could not stop laughing and throwing napkins, doing stupid drunk things throughout the speeches and award ceremony. It got so annoying that Mr. W and I left early in case a food fight broke out or something. How rude.

Sunday, we again volunteered to help set up for the last event: a champagne buffet brunch aboard the Queen Mary ship. Gym Trainee and her son came by and ate with us, since Gym Trainee volunteered for the competition setup on Thursday or Friday. The event coordinator gave us a care package before we left: 2 unopened bottles of premium vodka, 2 new bottles Tabasco Bloody Mary Mix, 3 or 4 bottles of a rose champagne from the brunch. She also said that if we want to join the guild, just fill out the application online, send it to her, and we’re automatically in (I get the feeling they’re normally selective, requiring a resume and certifications to be sent with the application). It’s nice to work closely with and make a great impression on influential people!

Since Sunday’s Bartenders’ Guild activities were done around noon, we were free in the afternoon to attend my old friend Lily’s get-together at their new beachside apartment in nearby Seal Beach. We stopped by a supermarket and picked up some orange juice and cranberry juice, and with the liquors they had on hand at home, I played bartender and Lily’s husband Arnold gave me a standing invitation to go to any of their future parties to share my new trade. Haha.

I think all in all, I had a total of 2 drinks on Saturday and 2 small glasses of champagne on Sunday. Mr. W drank his weight in alcohol. We definitely made out well.

I had an old-fashioned date last nite. After work, Mr. W took me to a sushi restaurant near my house, we had dinner, briefly separated as I went to drop some stuff off at the post office and he went to get gas, and met up again at my house for a romantic comedy DVD movie (“27 Dresses” — had its funny moments, cute story, nothing earth-shattering). At one point I left for a restroom break and coming back downstairs I overheard Mr. W talking to someone. Turned out he was sprawled out on the floor having an affectionate conversation with Dodo while my little black and white cow flopped back and forth happily at Mr. W’s rubbing and scratching. The movie ended around 9:30pm, at which time Mr. W gave me a hug and a kiss goodnight and went home.

The going home part sucked a little bit.

I think I realized last nite that I’m finally ready to be married now.

Tuesday night after bartending class, I met up with Christi (flip flop girl) at a charged-by-weight, make-your-own frozen yogurt place called Cherry On Top in Diamond Bar. She drove all the way there from her meeting in LA and I drove there from my class in Cypress and we pulled up about 20 seconds apart. That’s what you call synchronization! I’d told her about the shop over dinner Monday night, saying that the first time I’d gone in there, I’d instantly thought, “Christi would love to see this.” The decor is like teeny bopper chic done up in the cutsy Sanrio way. Round stainless steel table with swanky swivel-out round seats in the middle, giant clear plastic cherries rain from the ceiling over the main table, lit up from within, circular cushions attached sideways to the walls like big naugahyde buttons, all tables aglow from light within the patterned frosted glasstops. Flat screen TVs playing MTV (Tila Tequila was on) mounted high on the walls.

Christi instantly whipped out her camera and retreated to the far end of the room and started focusing away. One of the guys behind the counter strolled up to her, blocking her view, and told her that photos aren’t allowed in the place. So after we got our yogurts (hers was all tart flavors with healthy fruit toppings, I had the PMS formula of random yogurts with chocolate chip cookie dough, yogurt chips, Heath bar bits, chopped Andes chocolate mints, blueberries, and candied pecans), she sat with her back to the register counter, lined up her little digital camera to point at the center of the room, turned off her flash, and nonchalantly looking forward, she clicked the camera from underneath her arm. A few photos later, the best one was unfortunately blocked by some weird shadow in the corner. I pushed her to post it anyway (she was preparing for the debut of her upcoming Food Blog).

After the yogurt, she asked how far I lived from Diamond Bar, and the navigation device told us just over 8 miles, so she came over and visited Dodo. Just as she’d previously said, she loves all things furry (and it’s a rare animal that’s furrier than Dodo with his dense otter-like fur coat) despite the fact that she’s allergic to cats. She instantly befriended Dodo and as he meowed his side of the conversation at her and rubbed his face into her hand, she cooed greetings at him and commented on how soft he was in between sneezes. After the visit, she had a long drive back to LA but I was happy she finally met the other significant fuzzy boy in my life!

Tuesday evening was our last bartending class. We got our certificates. I’m now certified! Yaaaaay! We even got new dipschticks in our class who’re normally enrolled in another session. There was one guy who was very quick and smart, whom I found myself chatting with more than the other people, cuz it was just easier to communicate with him and he had knowledge to share. Such as, drinks that have only 1 mixer or 1 liquor are served in the short chimney glass; tall chimney glasses are for drinks with multiple ingredients. I don’t think our instructor gives all his classes an equal distribution of knowledge.

OH. And I made the most crass joke ever. We were doing Brain Hemorrhage shots. 3/4 of a shotglass is filled with Peach Schnapps, and then we carefully, using the back of a barspoon, layer some Baileys Irish Cream on top. Then we even more carefully drip some drops of Grenadine into the concoction, and the heavier Grenadine syrup makes the Baileys drop into the Schnapps. Since Baileys is a milk product, it curdles inside the Schnapps and with the red Grenadine syrup, the result is something that looks like a little brain in the shotglass with blood around it. The instructor said, “You guys wanna be real fancy? Don’t use a barspoon to float the Baileys. Use a cherry and let it dribble off the cherry. Then just drop the cherry inside the shotglass when you’re done.” The result of that is a shotglass with a cherry, and a brain hemorrhaging on top of it. I said, “That’s a virgin Brain Hemorrhage. Cuz it’s got its cherry.” Only an older assisting bartender and the smart guy from the other class laughed. Everyone else was like, “Huh? It’s not a virgin drink, it’s got alcohol in it!”

This weekend there’s a bartending competition, formal banquet dinner and champagne brunch sponsored by the United States Bartenders Guild at the Queen Mary in Long Beach. Volunteers get to participate in the $200 banquet and brunch for free, plus a free bottle of booze. Guess where I’m gonna be.