cindy's world

My parents came over today after not seeing Allie for the last 2 weeks because of our road trip. I get a lot of emails from my mom about how much she and my dad miss Allie when they’re not able to come by. Once in awhile she bothers to throw in that she misses us, as well. That’s nice of her. They brought Allie an electronic learning toy that turns into a push-walker when Allie starts walking, and a cute little halter swimsuit. We gave my mom her Mother’s Day present early: an iPad 3 which Mr. W preloaded with photos of Allie. My dad says she sits in bed at night and watches and rewatches videos and photos she’d taken of Allie in the past months on her laptop, giggling like an insane grandma. Now she can do the same thing with a lighter object on her lap. The back of the iPad is inscribed “Happy Mother’s Day” with my mom’s name, and “Love” from me, Mr. W and Allie. If someone stole it they’d have to prove a lot to claim it’s theirs.

It’s interesting seeing Allie thru my parents’ eyes. Because they only see Allie for a couple of hours once a week, they don’t realize all the progress she makes. So my dad will make comments like, “She’s making deliberate audible vocalizations now! I think she’s learning to talk!” “She now looks straight at you and concentrates on your mouth when you talk! She’s learning!” “She’s starting to grab things on purpose! She knows what to do with her hands now!” These are things she’d been doing for weeks to months, but I don’t say anything and let them make their own discoveries. No need to make them feel worse; they already feel like they’re missing out.

When my parents first arrived, Allie was in the second hour of what turned out to be a very nice 2-hour noon nap. It was needed, because after she was put into her crib for her morning nap, she popped up and rolled onto her back. After crying for awhile like that, she sucked her thumb until she fell asleep, but woke up with full-body nocturnal jerks every minute (I was watching the timer on the monitor), then every 45 seconds, then every 15-20 seconds, then every 30 seconds…basically she woke up at least 60 times, falling back to sleep each time only to wake up again with another jerk, until she gave up trying to nap after 40 minutes. (She sleeps all night on her back just fine, but then she’s laying on her fuzzy bear.) Poor baby. It was worse than when she was in the car being woken up by Mr. W’s aggressive driving on the road trip. I was really hoping her nervous system had outgrown the jerking; this was why we started napping her on her stomach to begin with.
For Allie’s 3rd nap, even tho she fell asleep on me, as soon as I put her in her crib she popped up and fussed. I picked her up, resoothed her to sleep on me, and tried again. Same thing. Wide awake in her crib. I finally walked out to let her soothe herself to sleep in the crib. It didn’t happen; for the first time ever, she cried and screamed through the ENTIRE duration of her nap period, from 3:30p in her crib until 4:15p when I went and got her. She was in fine spirits after she was picked up and played until almost 6pm with my parents, so it kind of looked like she had a bit of habitual tiredness for that nap, but didn’t really need it. The Sleep Book says that at age 5-8 months, 84% of babies have 2 naps and have dropped the 3rd, the late-afternoon nap. She could be phasing that nap out on her own already. I advanced her bedtime a little bit, we gave her a bath (my first time bathing her sitting in the adult tub with her, while hubby helped and gave pointers from the toilet seat), and she was falling asleep nursing by 6:30p. By 6:45p, she was sleeping in her crib. She’d gone to bed at 6:45p plenty of times before, but we’ve been letting her sleep in until 7a to help her catch up on the missed sleep from the road trip, so she’ll still be getting her 15 hours of total sleep this 24-hour period, even with the missed 3rd nap. I think knowing that babies her age are starting to eliminate her own last nap is what kept me from freaking out while I sat and helplessly watched her scream for 45 minutes earlier (while my mom got tutoring lessons from Mr. W on the iPad). I looked back on her charts to see how she eliminated her 4th nap before. It seemed to be sporadically missed until we just stopped forcing it on her, and she did fine with that extra awake period before bedtime. This was when she was doing 1-2 hours of awake periods, before she started hitting the clock-time naps every 8:30a, 11:30a, and 3:30p. That 3rd nap was always a variable “as needed” nap, anyway. Guess she didn’t really need it today.

So many changes, so little time. And with her 6-month birthday coming up in 19 days, we’ll be playing with solids soon.

Tuesday morning after breakfast and Allie’s first nap, we got ready to check out of the Plaza Suites in Santa Clara. I didn’t mention that a roller coaster theme park called Great America was across the freeway from our hotel. It would’ve been a fun place to explore, if Allie were only tall enough to ride the rides. Oh well, maybe next year. 🙂 Another great thing about the hotel location is that it turned out we were 10-15 minutes from just about all our friends, no matter what direction we were going. That was convenient. Anyway, Allie was a good girl and sat patiently in the Boppy with her hands clasped as we got ready to leave.

Here she is watching her daddy disassemble her pack-n-play.

And then we were off! Allie took a nice long nap in the car as we drove to Pismo Beach, listening to Baby Rock. What’s Baby Rock? Turn on your speakers. Mr. W even rocks out to some of these lullabies.

We checked into Pismo Lighthouse Suites, which is one of the cutest hotels we’d ever been in. Everything is lighthouse themed, and our 2-bedroom “family suite” was practically a condo. Allie had her own bedroom and attached bathroom. The property was also right on the beach. Mr. W read some reviews of local eateries, and decided to try some supposedly famous clam chowder that people drive from all over to eat, at a casual local joint called Splash Cafe near Pismo Pier. To continue with adventuring for Allie, Mr. W decided we ought to walk it.

Allie was very cooperative on the way there, but it turned out to be farther than expected. We were pushing her awake-time again.

Finally we got to the restaurant, and thankfully, despite what the reviews warned, did not have to wait in a long line around the block. We like Tuesday afternoon outings. We even snatched a nice street-facing window counter seat.

The chowder was good and extraordinarily creamy and rich. But it wasn’t very clammy. It did fill us up, though. Poor Allie didn’t get any, altho she took a swipe with her hand and dipped her fingers into Mr. W’s breadbowl. Mr. W got her hand just in time to wipe it off before she started solids without our permission. After that she was put in a corner to watch passerbys and munch on Sophie.

On the walk back, we stopped by a swingset on the sand and Allie got her first swing ride!


(Click play for 65 seconds of Allie giggling on the swing.)
And then Mr. W decided this would be a good time to let Allie sit on her first sand beach. She’d been to Seal Beach before when we visited Rebecca, but she was always in the carrier and we stayed at the town side and on the pier. Same thing with San Clemente Beach. She had also hung out on a blanket on the sand part of our Lake when she was 10 weeks old. Now for the first time, she got to interact with the beach.


As you can see, she dug around like a happy little crab. She had so much fun that we couldn’t get her back to the hotel fast enough after that; she hollered to nap, then finally gave up and started her nap on Mr. W before we made it back. She continued it in her pack-n-play back in the hotel room, and then after she woke up, we went to a nice fancy seafood restaurant a few doors down for dinner. There, Allie got to sit in her first high chair, since we decided to just hand-carry her there as it was so close to the hotel and therefore didn’t have her carrier. Turned out that altho she can sit upright on her own, the high chair was way too big and roomy. So we won’t try it again for awhile. Here is Mr. W instructing Allie on proper fine dining behavior. She did pretty well, no fits.

The next morning, we had kind of a disappointing continental breakfast at the hotel, since we had been spoiled by Plaza Suites’ hot breakfast buffets. Allie didn’t mind, tho, since she got her usual meal of fresh breastmilk anyway.

After her morning nap, we were off and got home a little before 2pm. Allie took a niiiice 2 hour 10 minute nap in the car on the drive back, so we didn’t even have to stop until we got home.

Although Allie’s naps were short on vacation (30-50 mins each on average), she did hit them all on time on her own and didn’t have a problem going down for the night, and slept through each night, so that was good. Poor Mr. W felt oppressed by the baby’s naps, tho, so this wasn’t quite a vacation the way he liked it. I felt bad, and asked him to think of it as scoping out places we can go for future vacations when Allie’s older. I’m really looking forward to the time when she’s old enough to really enjoy new sights and places. I think that comes at close to a year, right? Maybe a bit later? But by then food will be its own issue, when she’s eating solids but not adult-solids, yet. So I guess there’s always a challenge.
I couldn’t do any nap training while we were out because I didn’t want her crying to disturb other hotel guests, so when we got home, she fought me in her nighttime sleep and also in a few naps. That’s why we left half a week to readjust her, so that Jayne doesn’t have to do it. It seems like with so many babies, the issue isn’t that they don’t nap; it’s that they don’t STAY asleep. They wake up in 30-40 minutes after their first REM cycle and decide they’re done. As they get older, they fight more to stay up instead of go back to sleep when they find themselves awake. It’s interesting that the sleep book doesn’t really address this, only saying that after 4 months of age, any nap under 1 hour is not considered restorative, and gives advice on how to deal with the kid fighting going down for the night or for the nap. Here’s another challenge now: she rolls to her back, and doesn’t nap well on her back because nocturnal jerks wake her up. So if she’s up and fighting and starts rolling, if it’s at the beginning of the nap, she’ll jerk awake every minute or less until she gives up, and if it’s at the tail end of a REM cycle, the nap’s pretty much over. I’m looking forward to her outgrowing this.

Since Allie started sitting by herself this week, we thought we’d introduce her to different places she could sit. So today, she got her introduction to grass.

She plucked at it with her fingers, hung on hard to the tough little blades, but didn’t try to bring any into her mouth, which surprised me. Pulling sideways one time, she rolled herself cheek-first into the lawn. No reaction. I guess she’s pretty comfy out there.
Later, we sat her outside to wait for my parents, who’d called to say they were coming over. We waited and waited.

Good thing Allie enjoyed herself, since my parents were running on “Asian time.”

So Mr. W decided to introduce Allie to sand in our zen garden.

I think grass is a clear winner. Unless you count this:

Allie’s napping now, but I don’t know what’s going on with her naps this weekend. Every nap except yesterday’s morning one, she wakes up and cries at the 35-40-minute point. I leave her in there until she’s been in her crib an hour so she’s not “rewarded” for forcing herself awake early to come play. Yesterday, that meant on both her noon and afternoon naps, she slept half an hour, cried half an hour, and was picked up. Today, each time she cried she was able to (within 15 mins or less) roll her left arm free and curl up sideways sucking her thumb and fall asleep, but still. Aggravating. I’m hoping it’s a developmental thing as she’s learning to roll, so it’s an exciting new thing that’s keeping her up, and that she’ll be used to it soon and just go back to sleep.

In preparation for introducing Allie to solids this weekend, I’ve been reading up on how to make this transition. You know what my research has mostly showed? That it’s best to hold off for another month. Keeping the baby exclusively on breast milk the first 6 months lowers the chances of obesity, of childhood asthma (by as much as 50%!), of ear infections, allergic reactions to food, all sorts of stuff. Plus, early introduction to solids has warnings attached: increased chances of constipation as the digestive system may not be mature enough to handle the foods, tons of foods I’ve gotta remember I CAN’T feed the baby yet until 6 months (grains with gluten, such as barley, wheat), and I have to be careful to cook, strain and peel everything until she’s 6 months. Everywhere I look there’s a caveat of “…but if your baby is under 6 months, add this step,” or “…wait until 6 months to feed this food to decrease chance of allergic reaction.” So I may as well wait instead of memorizing all the exceptions.

Here’s something interesting about the magic of breast milk: it is a medicine cabinet. We know it’s sterile, and has antibacterial and antiviral properties. Some uses aside from nourishment include:
* diaper rash treatment – applied topically, breast milk improved diaper rash slightly FASTER than those zinc oxide diaper rash creams you’d buy over the counter (a 2009 study shows).
* nose clearer – I’ve been using saline drops for clearing Allie’s nostrils, but apparently, you can squirt 2 drops of breast milk in each nostril and then suck it out with an aspirator, just like I already do with the saline, and the breast milk antibodies in the nostrils may help relieve nasal irritation.
* eye treatment – itchy eyes from pinkeye or conjunctivitis (mild cases that don’t need prescription meds, I mean) can be relieved with 2 drops of breast milk in the infected eye twice a day as an antibiotic. So for my mom friends who have felt a little bad about squirting their baby in the eye during breastfeeding at times…you’ve been keeping the eye healthy!
* skin ointment – dabbing some milk on a scrape or scratch helps heal the area like antibacterial cream.
* soothing eczema – blot the dry patches with a cotton pad dipped in breast milk; it also makes for a great lubricant.

I’m thinking I should just store up a bottle and place it in my medicine cabinet. (Kidding, I know it has to be refrigerated.)

The kid bit me for the first time this morning during nursing. She acted like she was done, turning away, but I thought she was just distracted because she was on that side half the time she normally is, so I put her back on. A few seconds later, a sharp pain. I tried not to say “ouch” but it was too late because she caught me by surprise. I was also surprised she didn’t just bite and let go; she kept the pressure on for a few seconds. I tried to press her face into my skin to get her to let go but she was in an awkward position where it really didn’t do anything, but she let go on her own anyway and acted like nothing unusual had happened.

She may have been getting me back for putting her on when she was done eating. Or it may have been for letting her sit up by herself unsupported, which she’s able to do until she reaches to her left or right for something (and she’s ALWAYS reaching for something these days, even if it’s just the blanket she’s sitting on) and then falls over on her face in that direction. I laugh when she does that because it’s funny and she’s clearly unhurt. Maybe her little budding ego is hurt when she’s laughed at now, who knows.

Looking back, it’s interesting how insecure and incompetent I felt with the baby stuff from Allie’s birth until…last weekend. I was completely overwhelmed and feeling underprepared, and was constantly playing a game of catch-up, researching and reading everything I could, trying to be a more effective parent by trying to anticipate her growth and symptoms and how to best address potential upcoming issues. I’m finally at the point, thanks to the very successful naptraining over the weekend, of feeling like, “Hey, I’m not a totally sucky mother, after all.” It could be because I was SO freaked out at how crazy everything was going at home the first week Jayne was with Allie (I cried in the bathroom at work last Wednesday), by comparison, the weekend felt totally do-able. And also, because this week is going well and Jayne is “getting it” with Allie’s routines and stuff now, I’m feeling much more comfortable. The constant nagging nausea and anxiety hanging over me actually dissipates here and there. People at work with young grandchildren and helpless-feeling new-mom-children are coming to me, asking advice, and my advice is actually WORKING for them (especially in the areas of sleep training). There are more learning curves coming up immediately ahead such as when we have her try solids for the first time this weekend, but hopefully nothing that kicks my emotional butt like the first 4.5 months of Allie’s life. At least, until teenagerhood sets in. Ugh.

RE DODO:
Dodo has a vet appointment this Saturday to get an update on his kidney disease condition. He started vomiting bile more often over the weekend, and I relayed that to the vet, who’d called to check up on him over the week. She explained a process from the kidneys’ failure to do their job efficiently which ends up with excess acid production in the stomach. The end result is that I have to add another medication, this time an antacid, to his morning and evening medication routine. Luckily, I was able to get it in liquid suspension form, also tuna-flavored. It should be delivered directly from the pharmacy this week. I think the stages of this disease are progressing faster than I’d initially expected.

RE ALLIE AT HOME:
Allie has been doing well this week. Jayne has been following my written instructions/diagram, so Allie’s had all 6 naps on time Monday and Tuesday. Monday was picture-perfect and she had substantial naps. Jayne had to wake her at the 2-hour mark from her Monday noon nap so she doesn’t oversleep, and she had to again be awoken from her late afternoon nap yesterday. She did take a short morning nap yesterday (about half an hour), but she was left in her crib until the full hour had passed before she was picked up and fed. The feedings are in normal stretches after the naps, too. So as long as I can avoid looking at the cameras in the day, I don’t feel too much anxiety.

RE PUMPING:
Milk production dropped dramatically in the past week, but yesterday appeared to pick up a little again. I’ve given up trying to pump at night before I go to bed as the amount I’d get out makes the exercise a waste of time, but I’ve pumped in the mornings prior to Allie getting up, which has been working out. I’m usually so engorged at that time that I don’t need a let-down to get out at least 4 ounces, and I’m finding that I’m more engorged earlier in the mornings, so overnight milk production has increased. This morning I got out 7 oz an hour before Allie was to be up, still leaving enough for her to nurse with in the morning. I’ve also gotten out a half ounce more in each work-pumping yesterday than I had the day before, so I’m hoping it’s an upward trend. I think it helps that I’m less freaked out about what’s going on at home.

RE WORK:
It’s been a pretty light week as far as court hearings go for us, so I’ve been taking advantage of it by washing out and drying the pump parts after each pump session (when it gets busy I’d only have time to wipe the parts out), and by hammering the 30+ divorce cases sitting in the bin waiting for me when I got back. The relief clerk who was at my desk most of the time, Andy, did his best in keeping up with those and did process a gi-normous quantity of the cases, but I heard the clerk’s office was so behind in getting the defaulted divorce files farmed out to the courtrooms for processing that they put 5 people on the default desk to clear the backlog, and each courtroom was hit with 7-8 cases a day in addition to the courtroom’s regular work. Everyone’s grumbling and everyone’s behind. Well, after a week and a half of pounding on these cases, I cleared my cart yesterday and got caught up. I still see it as what may stand between me and my baby at the end of the day, and I don’t ever want to give a supervisor a reason to tell me I can’t leave for the day because I’m leaving work behind.

YESTERDAY EVENING’S STATUS MESSAGES:
“Cindy daringly took a shower 15 mins after Allie went to bed, aiming for the deep sleep part of Allie’s sleep cycle…& Allie reportedly didn’t move from the shower sounds! This could mean a shower daily is now possible! *moved to tears of joy*”
That’s huge! Allie’s finally outgrowing the overly noise-sensitive sleep phase of her babyhood!

“Cindy would love to take a field trip back in time to see the day when ice cream was invented. Was it an accident? Was it a stroke of genius? What was everyone’s reactions when they tasted it for the first time? What flavor was the first ice cream? Who came up with adding vanilla? In fact — oh, look at that, it’s 8:50. Time for bed.”
I think I’m gaining a little weight back. I’d like to gain it back by hitting the gym, but having to be back from lunch to pump at 1pm, gymming is out of the question for now. Altho…hmm…I should be able to do some stuff at home (floor exercises), and at least do some walking or SOMEthing at lunchtime.

Nap re-training went really well over the weekend. After the stunt Allie pulled on her first nap on Saturday when I had to let her cry for 23 minutes before she went back to sleep for 2 hours (I had to wake her so that she didn’t oversleep), she didn’t try it again. She hit all her naps on time and woke up from them at the right times, usually about one hour and 45 minutes. No fits in between REM cycles, no rolling around in her crib. I did notice latency has increased (taking longer to go to sleep during soothing); it used to be about 10 minutes, now it’s up to half an hour on some naps, with sometimes a few minutes of protest crying before she zonks out. I wrote detailed notes of her naps and her behavior before and during them. I also did a 12-hour daytime timeline with color-coded brackets and instructions for naptimes and feeding times. Jayne got here late again this morning so I didn’t have a lot of time to go over all the specifics, just went over things generally. I hope she reads the chart and notes. Stepdaughter conversationally said yesterday that she was hanging out with Jayne and chatting and they saw Allie wake up and cry on the monitor, and that they waited 5 minutes before Jayne went up and got her. Stepdaughter almost said it in a defense, like, “We did wait, though — we waited 5 minutes.” 5 minutes is not effective, obviously, because Allie then learns she can easily outlast Jayne and get picked up early from the nap. The point is to have Allie in her crib for an hour whether or not she sleeps the full hour, so she doesn’t expect to play during naptimes. Given the chance (i.e. she isn’t getting picked up after her first REM cycle), Allie sleeps for at least 90 minutes in a nap, and soon doesn’t even bother moving much during that initial REM wake-up, but goes right back to sleep. Altho Allie was crabby and would cry for no reason on Friday, we got our happy smiling well-rested baby back on Sunday. We also got black-out curtains for her this weekend and Mr. W installed them right away. They block about 70% of daytime light. I don’t want it black in her room cuz I still want her to know the difference between daytime naps and nighttime sleep.

Pumping didn’t go so well. I get consistent advice from other pumping mothers to keep at it, pump before going to bed. The timing is fine because it would be about 3 hours after Allie last ate for the night when I go to bed, but I can’t get letdowns anymore. Squeezing the hell out of each side as I’m pumping on the hand-pump with the free hand yields about 5 mL per side in 10 minutes. Basically it’s a total waste of time because it takes me longer to clean the parts afterwards. The time could’ve been better served by sleeping. I finally pumped at 5:30a this morning before Allie’s first feeding of the day and got almost 4 oz total by squeezing until my skin burned. I know there’s milk in there, my body just won’t release it. The only reason I got out what I did this morning was because I was engorged from no release overnight. I wonder if my doing that would get me less at my first work pumping later.

Dodo yowled every 15 minutes starting at about 10:30p last night, lasting for 45 minutes to an hour. Then he started yowling every 10 minutes starting at about 4:30am this morning for over an hour. He yowled more over the weekend, too. Not sure what changed. His yowling is even louder. I’m still medicating him as instructed.

This weekend, I discovered that staying at home and just doing babycare is, surprisingly, easier than going to work. I’d expected to feel better knowing I’m getting a break from 24/7 baby issues, but it’s harder psychologically at work because not only am I not free from baby issues as I worry about Allie’s routine going nuts at home, but I have to worry about pumping (whether I can get away, where, how long I can afford to pump/store/clean, whether it’s productive). The baby stress is compounded, and I have work stress and obstacles on top of that. There’s a giant backlog of divorce cases the clerk’s office is distributing like crazy so I’ve been working like mad to try to get rid of the ones they’re assigning to me. I’ve made a sizeable dent, but not good enough. I don’t want anyone to have a reason to say I can’t leave work on time because of workload unfinished. It’s really hard to concentrate on each file’s details, however, when my anxiety level is so high about what’s going on at home. I think that may be affecting my (lack of) letdowns, too.

I’m re-nap-training Allie right now. After a week, she has learned that if she wakes up after a natural REM cycle during her nap and cries, a really fun nice nanny will come get her, and they’ll play. Toward the second half of the week, she’s learned that not only will she get picked up if she forces herself awake and cries instead of going back to sleep, but she’ll get a big bottle, too. The result is that for the past few weekdays, she’s had 30 minute naps, a big bottle, a tiny bit of play before she’s tired because the last nap was insufficient, so she’ll get another unscheduled nap which will last for 30 minutes (because now it doesn’t match her biorhythmic tired time anymore), she’ll get up and cry, she’ll get picked up and another big bottle, and this repeats for 4 little naps and 4 big bottles in the day until we get home. She’s flying through the stored milk, pooping a lot, and becoming more cranky from nap deprivation without a nice long consolidated restorative nap.

So today, I played with her until 8:30a, when I started soothing her for her morning nap which is supposed to occur around 9a. She fell asleep in her crib at 8:45a, and sure enough, in half an hour, she was up and crying. She had a FIT in there, but I didn’t go in to get her. This has happened before and the crying would last about 10-15 mins before she’d just go back to sleep and sleep solidly for an hour or more, but this time, because she expected to be picked up, she kept it up for 23 minutes. I watched anxiously on the monitor, and when Mr. W came out of the bedroom to see what was going on after HIS nap, I immediately hissed, “Don’t go in there!” He didn’t. I can see her sucking her thumb to self-soothe here and there, but she’d pull off and yell and cry again. Clearly she was still tired and needed to sleep, but wanted to play. Finally, she got the hint (altho 23 mins felt like an hour) and went back to sleep at 9:44 am. She’s still sleeping now. She’s woken up in between REM cycles since then, but would immediately put herself back to sleep instead of fighting it and waking up.

Now I have the opposite problem — if I let her sleep too much longer she’s going to be off schedule in the other direction. She’s already missed her 10a feeding, and I don’t want her to miss her 1p nap due to this nap going long. I’ve gone in there and opened the doors, but she simply soothed herself right back to sleep again and I didn’t have the heart to wake her because she clearly is exhausted after a week of irregular naps.

All week at work, I’d been seeing my milk supply gradually diminish. I’d kind of expected this, because the baby is able to get out more milk than the pump, so pumping 3 meals out of 5 tells my body that less milk is needed. The opposite is true, however. I was dismayed to go home yesterday and learn that Jayne had again bottlefed Allie 4 times in the day, despite each bottle’s quantity being a lot more than before. Overall, Allie took 23 ounces by bottle alone yesterday, whereas I only brought home 12 ounces from the 3 pump sessions at work. Even as the day goes, the milk supply drops by about an ounce each time. Feeling the pressure, I pumped last night at 10:30pm, after I’d napped for about 45 minutes. I figured that since it’d been 4 hours since Allie had her bedtime feeding, that I’d be able to get out a good amount. My body was not cooperative; after half an hour of working with the hand pump, alternating from side to side, hitting each side twice, I only got out one ounce total. I was frustrated and upset. That’s a long time spent pumping, storing, washing and drying pump parts, and losing sleep for very little gain.

I’m hoping that the 4 bottles a day at 6-7 ounces each the past 2 days are just Allie doing catch-up for the 3-day calorie deficiency she went through the first half of the week, and that she’ll go back to a more manageable pace soon. I have a stockpile of milk in the freezer, but she’s going through them really quickly. At this pace, I will fall behind in about a month even if I breastfeed exclusively on weekends. It could be that she’s going to be ready for solids earlier than I’d anticipated, if it seems that a liquid-only diet is failing to keep her full anymore. And that’s the next huge learning curve for me and Allie.

Oh, and I feel the bond with Allie stretching thinner. Yesterday, despite my holding her, she kept turning to look left and right, pulling away from me, refusing to look at me. She doesn’t do her big welcoming smile of recognition at me anymore. 🙁

Thanks to her nutritional needs now being met, Allie had two poopie diapers today. This is a camera screenshot of her second nap today. (Her morning nap was 1.5 hours, yay! This nap you see below was only 40-some minutes, boo.) I’m scared to look to see if she’s napping her 3rd nap right now.

Okay, I just looked. She’s NAPPING AGAIN! YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! Now I’m off to pump again.