cindy's world

I haven’t been to jujitsu in 2.5 weeks. It’s nice to be back today. Everyone welcomed me and admired my tan and haircolor, and only jostled me a little bit. For example, Josh asked, “Where did you go?”
I said, “Cancun.”
“How long were you there?”
“7 days.”
“Oh, that explains why you weren’t here for like a month.”
I laughed, hit him, and explained about the family law crap at work and all the free overtime I donated to the County the week before my trip. I missed the jokes and the camaraderie in jujitsu.

The instructor announced today that we should all start saving our money for…a Hawaii trip next November! Our school originates from Hawaii, and we’re going to do a convention there with the Hawaiian branches of our school for 7 DAYS. He said 4 days are ours, we’re going to work on martial arts for only 3 of those days, and he’d get us a package deal at a great hotel 2 streets back from the beach: adjoining suites with balconies and kitchenettes for $52/nite with his connections. The workshops are gonna include (I don’t remember the names of these arts) learning stick-fighting and Polynesian hot stone massage. HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!

So last nite, after my final “diet meal,” I struggled hard with the technicality of when my diet is considered over. Is it over after the immediate consumption of the final meal? After that meal digests? After I sleep and wake up again? After midnight? I really wanted to eat something, anything, that’s not on the diet’s food list, and I wanted alcohol.

So it was easy when my ex called after 11pm to get me out to a local restaurant/bar and get me intoxicated. Long story short, when I haven’t had a lot of calories in me all week and my body’s out of whack due to that and weight loss and hormones, that any amount of alcohol goes a long way. So… I may have been convinced to get back together with him.

(more…)

I thought I had put this out there but I guess I didn’t.

I’m not normally one to diet. I generally pay some attention to what I eat, try not to go overboard, but I do occasionally succumb to my cravings. My thought is that I’m still young enough to burn off what I put in, so I’m gonna work out to give myself some food leverage. Plus, it sucks on a date that you’re just chewing on some bland leaf (mmm, chlorophyll) when you can be having lobster bisque, sourdough bread, filet mignon, and creme brulee. And a cocktail.

However, because the demand on my time this week is so high for getting my stupid family law crap done before I leave on vacation, I knew I would have to give up my lunchtime workouts, and probably work late in the evenings, too. So since I can’t burn off what I eat, I’d better just control what I eat. Thus, this psycho chemical diet. If I’m gonna have to start bringing lunch (no way I’m gonna grab fast food every day and bring it back to work thru lunch and still fit in a bikini next week), it may as well contribute to my diet. So it all works out.

I hope.

My bailiff, upon seeing the success of my chemical diet so far, made a photocopy of the instructions and menu. I told him that if he wants to do the diet, I’d give him the seven saltine crackers it calls for so he doesn’t have to go out and buy a gargantuan carton like I did if he doesn’t normally eat saltines. He looked at the menu and said, “I don’t think I can do this, man. There’s not enough eats on it for me.” I looked at him quizzically, wondering why he made the photocopy. He answered my unspoken question. “I’m gonna give this to Lisa.” His girlfriend.

Can you guys just SMELL the bloodspill already?

I didn’t say anything to him.

I flew home yesterday after work in time to watch on the news JetBlue’s flight approach the runway in Los Angeles International Airport with its front landing gear stuck at a perpendicular angle to the way it’s supposed to be. The plane landed perfectly on its two rear main landing gears, nose up till the last possible moment when gravity took over, then upon contact with the ground, the front wheels melted sparking flames, but ultimately did not veer one visible inch from the center divider line of the runway. Incredible piloting. Successful engineering of the axel, too. Nothing broke or crushed under the pressure and friction (except the small front tires, of course). The emergency vehicles were on both sides of the runway prepared for the plane to veer one way or the other or maybe turn over. *dignified golf clap*

Then I shoveled my diet dinner into my face and took off to Mr. W’s house. On the drive down, I spoke to my cousin Jennifer on the phone, who invited us down to her house (5 mins from my destination) for dinner and TV nite. She and her sister/roommie Diana have a group of friends who alternate in hosting a TV/dinner nite weekly. Altho I could not eat dinner with them (nor participate in the ingestion of a decadent looking layered chocolate pie of some sort; I’d give a more detailed description but I kept my eyes averted from the temptation), we did have a blast watching “Lost” (first episode of Season 2, first episode period for Mr. W and I). It’s funny and cute how involved in these shows my cousins and their friends are. There was lots of audience participation in the form of shouting advice (or insults) to the characters, some screams, jeers and cheers. Jennifer caught us up on Season 1 details as needed throughout the episode. Interesting series. I would watch it again.

I’m glad I couldn’t be tempted yesterday. I’m down 4.5 lbs from Monday. I can’t wait to see what my weight is once I debloat. I’m also glad everyone liked each other. These people are important to me. The fact that both sides make the effort on my behalf is very, very appreciated. I’m also glad that in the 3.5 hour donut hole of my sleep last nite (I think I was up between 1a and 4:30a), I was productive and folded/put away fresh laundry, reorganized my jammies drawer (golly, I have lots of sets of jammies for someone who doesn’t sleep in jammies, but they’re really cute stuff, mostly VS), decided on some stuff to bring to Cancun, tried on other stuff just to see how the combination fits and whether they fit. Sent out an email.

Okay, okay, I expect some finger wagging.

…yup, still hating it.

The diet today has cottage cheese on the lunch menu. I was optimistic this time around, because the thought of cottage cheese did not induce the gag reflex that it used to. I thought, “Maybe I’m over this. Maybe it’s an acquired taste that you get as you grow up, like spinach or eggplant.” I was wrong.

As I sit here trying to swallow a cup of this crap, I am reminded of why I could not do this diet more often. Eating cottage cheese still is, in my opinion, like eating a lactose intolerant person’s vomit.

I left work at close to 7:30p last nite and went to the grocery store to buy the food for my chemical diet. I think the sudden appearance of cumulonimbus clouds, lightning and brief passing rain is a good sign. Haha. I arrived home to a yowling cat circling his food and me restlessly. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked him. “There’s food right there.” And then I looked closer. Ants. The outdoor moisture must’ve chased the ants into my house. That was fun to clean up. I love my Fantom Fury vacuum cleaner.

I gave myself extra time this morning to pack my chemical lunch and to eat my chemical breakfast. Normally, I skip both meals. But the bulk of my spare time in the morning was used in sucking up more ants and spraying Raid around the kitchen. I did feel twinges of guilt. I mean, are they not little lives, too? Do they not have souls? Aren’t they just trying to survive and get out of the rain? :*(

Man, I learned MY lesson about getting sufficient sleep. So everybody, you were right. My immune system is kaputt during this stressful period and I have only myself to blame. But I’m grateful that, as bad as it is and this is the worst I’ve ever had this problem, that it’s not worse. I can see how it could’ve easily been a lot worse.

Deadlines are looming now that I’m a week away from Cancun. I’m actually foregoing all my jujitsu classes for the week and the noontime workouts to get my family law crap done. They just gave us a criminal trial today, so I’m not gonna be able to be as productive during the regular work hours. But I also need to lose weight, so I’m putting myself back on this insane chemical diet I’d been on before. Since I can’t afford time to lose weight by burning incoming calories, I’ll just have to control the quantity of incoming. (No, I’m not gonna starve myself.) Starting tomorrow. Today’s moon cake day. =)

My second “quarter” of jujitsu started yesterday. I’d never seen the class so full. Half were new students. It was really, really cool to hang out w/the regulars again. I congratulated Gerardo for winning gold at the Okana competition in Arizona last weekend. Everyone harassed me for not going. It sounded like a lot of fun, maybe I’ll go next year. Got my usual wink from the blackbelt. This class started better, I felt. After the initial warmups and stretches and toning exercises, they began the jujitsu training by breaking down and drilling blocks and kicks. Then the class was split into 3 groups to work on various falls and take-downs, just to get new people acclimated to jujitsu in general.

Unfortunately, because half the class was new people who didn’t have gis, I couldn’t work out my aggression on them. Until Gerardo came up to me as I was doing the take-downs. “You can throw me,” he offered. “Really? I really can?” “Yeah! Go for it!” I threw him across the room. He did a dramatic airborn roll. Sometimes it’s nice having people who can read me and my antsiness, especially if they can do something about it.

During my hike today, I expressed my thoughts on how important it is for one’s emotional well-being to have things or plans to look forward to. That being said, here’s the list so far:

FOOD
1.) The Stinking Rose in Beverly Hills’ Restaurant Row, motto: “We season our garlic with food!”
2.) Papadakis Taverna in San Pedro, Greek food and belly-dancing, opa!
3.) dim sum (I dunno, anywhere)
4.) Korean soon tofu (I about fell over when my hiking buddy said, “I like tofu.” I told him how non-Asians complain to me that tofu didn’t taste like anything. He said, “Sure it does! It takes on whatever flavor of the food you cook it with!” That’s exactly what my dad says.)
5.) Taiwanese breakfast?

PLACES TO VISIT
1.) UCLA campus and surrounding Westwood Village in Los Angeles
2.) The Huntington Library, Art Collection & Botanical Gardens in Pasadena (oh darn it, I just saw that the mansion is under renovation indefinitely according to their web site)
3.) Glen Ivy in either Brea or Corona
4.) Diamond Bar High School for Bingo some Saturday nite (Vicky, nudge nudge.)

I’m sure I’m missing out on something I’d had running in my head that I’d like to go to or eat in the next few months or so, but this’ll do for now.