cindy's world

Allie’s pediatrician confirmed at the 18-month appointment that we can wean her at any time we want to since she’s gotten pretty much all the nutritional and other benefits she needs from breast milk at this point. She suggested we start with eliminating the morning feeding. I’d been thinking the same thing, since Allie is easily distracted in the mornings and moves on to other things. It’s the bedtimes that she points to the recliner in her room and asks for “mama, nom nom?”.

I waited until this week to cut the morning nursing, because Mr. W and I were attending a soiree last Saturday afternoon that would go into the evening, so we’d already be missing her evening nursing for the first time. I didn’t want to go more than 24 hours between nursings cold turkey as that would be…uncomfortable for me.

Allie did great Saturday night. Jayne came over Saturday afternoon and we did almost a normal goodbye routine with Allie. It was the first bedtime in Allie’s 18-month existence that I wasn’t there to go through it with her. I knew she’d be fine; she sleeps well on her own so even if she fussed before going into her crib, I knew once she went to sleep she’d be fine. And she was. Jayne said she tossed around sucking her thumb for half an hour after she was in her crib, then went to sleep. That’s pretty normal for Allie. Jayne said Allie gave her no trouble with teeth-brushing or flossing, and only asked once when she was being changed for bed, “Mama? Dada?” Jayne said that mama and dada would be home soon, and that was that. Meanwhile, Mr. W and I were at his boss’s 60th surprise birthday party thrown by the boss’s wife at their beautiful home on a hill with a spectacular view. They even had valet parking and catering for the event. I had 2 glasses of wine and a key lime pie martini. Here’s a photo Maggie’s hubby Tom took of us:

We weren’t able to take a photo with the spectacular view behind us cuz then we’d be backlit. 🙁

So anyway, now it’s Day 2 of the nurse-less mornings. Allie’s treated it the way she’s treated the elimination of post-nap nursings/bottles — like she doesn’t notice. We just give her a little snack before we leave for work, a couple ounces of cow’s whole milk and some fresh fruit or veggies. She loves her little munchies like I do; things just taste better when they’re “stolen” or “snuck” around square mealtimes. Meanwhile, I’m less comfortable. And I have to eat less crap and burn more fat to make up for not eliminating those extra milk calories.

Baby-boo turned 18 months old today! It’s funny how a kid (har) can make you feel like an old goat. (har har)
We (hubby, stepkidlet, stepkidlet’s boyfriend, me and Allie) celebrated with a healthy dessert at Bowl of Heaven.

Allie enjoyed a Popeye bowl, which is a frozen fruit puree made from a blend of acai, banana, strawberry, blueberry, pineapple, fresh kale, fresh spinach, apple juice, superfruit blend, topped with bananas, honey & granola. She easily ate half. I ate the other half.

Here’s some quickie bullet info about her this month. I’ll have medical stats in a week for her 18-month well-baby appointment.

Obsessions:
* Earth’s Best Organic Mini Waffles (maybe it’s because Elmo’s on the cover of the box. She’ll ask for “waffle” repeatedly until we either give it to her, or she cries in frustration.)
* Plum Tots Fiddlesticks (“feedle,” she’ll sing-song, in much the same sequence as she asks for waffles)
* flossing (found some kids’ flossers at the store, bought a package, now she wants to floss mornings and nights, and we had to cut her back to nights only. she’ll even do it herself after the teeth are brushed.)
* cheese (“jeez” and sometimes “peez”, which may have also been “please”)
* watching videos (we limit her to short clips of Sesame Street music, Disney music, or other educational musical stuff)
* climbing (she surprised us last Sunday by making it all the way up a chain ladder on a playground by herself, when she’d never even climbed one rung on her own before then. We have it on video, but video now seems impossible to share on my image hosting site with its current updates.)
* new foods (especially new veggies, or veggies she hasn’t had in awhile, like sweet peas, black olives, garbanzo beans)
* singing (she goes around singing and humming to herself, even after she’s put in her crib. sometimes she sings herself to sleep)

Working On:
* self-feeding with utensils (getting good with the fork “fo” and spoon “boon”)
* colors (her immediate answer anytime she’s asked what color something is, is “boo” [blue]. We make her stop and look at it, and tell her the correct color. If she points out something of her own accord, she’s more likely to say the right color, but when asked, the answer is always “boo.” The other day, Jayne was focusing on “yellow” and kept asking her what color all sorts of yellow things were. “Boo?” “No, yellow.” “Yellow?” “That’s right, yellow.” Later that day, Jayne gave her a bowl of fruit for a snack, and pointed out the blueberries. “No, yellow,” Allie corrected her.)
* 2-word “sentences” (“mama hi,” “swing boom” [I fell down the swing and went boom], “brocky hot” [this broccoli is hot])
* identifying & saying more veggies, animals, shapes, insects, etc.

Dislikes:
* miscommunication (she’ll have a mini-fit if we’re not understanding a word she’s saying)
* being vetoed (she wants more video, more more!)
* loss of control (the way to get her to eat more, or get in the car willingly, is to let her do it all herself; she’s all happy and proud when she climbs into her car seat and sits down properly)

Routines:
* Woken up at 6:30a
* Nurses briefly, gets her teeth brushed, diaper changed, goes downstairs (if weekday, goes to Jayne and says bye-bye to mama and dada and closes the garage door at 7a)
* Breakfast at 8:30a
* Snack at 10:30a (Jayne feeds her a big breakfast and skips the snack)
* Play or parkplay or walk until 11:15a
* Lunch at 11:30a
* Naptime begins approx. 12p, lasts between 90 mins to 3 hours, depending on her needs that day
* Snack after waking from nap and getting diaper changed (she regularly poopies in the 15 mins of alone time she has after she wakes from her nap)
* Playtime until 5:30p (if weekday, mama and dada comes home around then)
* Dinner between 5:30p and 6:30p, depending when her last snack was
* Playtime, bathtime until bedtime
* Bedtime routine starts between 6:30p and 7p, depending on how late her nap went (change diaper and into PJs, brush teeth, floss, says goodnight to dada, closes bedroom door, nurses 10-20 mins)
* Approx 7:15p, in her crib, says bye-bye, night-night to mama, waves, lights out
* Asleep between 7:15a and 8p, depending when she went to bed and how tired she is

Sometimes when I’m on the computer in the living room and it’s dark outside and lit inside, I’d sense motion at the corner of my eyes and look up, out the window. And there Mr. W would stand, in the backyard on his way to the trash cans or coming back from doing something in the yard, having decided to pause by the window and stare in at me with his tongue sticking out and his head tilted sideways, eyes rolled toward his nose. It used to give me heebie jeebies rather than make me laugh, but now that I have a kid, an entirely different reaction is triggered in my head.

Tonight, when Mr. W came inside from having done his staring in the window at me and waving emphatically thing, I sung to him,
“The hubby is a person in my neighborhood,
In my neighborhood,
In my neigh-bor-hood
The hubby is a person in my neighborhood,
When you’re walking down the street
Or when you’re looking out the window
And you see a big old creep
He’s a person that you meet…each…daaaaaaay!”

He went to the cabinet, got out a glass, and poured me a glass of wine. I’m not sure what that’s saying.

In the car on the way to Disneyland on Sunday morning, Allie gave me a smile so big that it revealed her dimples, almost all her teeth, and turned her eyes into little half-moon curls. She looked like an anime character. “That’s so cute!” I exclaimed. “That’s a cute smile! This is such a cute smile!” I continued as I tickled her cheek and she giggled. After that, she developed “the cute smile,” which is her artificial expression she wears on command and shows all her teeth and squints her eyes. Since it’s not a genuine smile but something she does when I say, “Show us your ‘cute smile,’ do your ‘cute smile’ look,” it comes out looking slightly twisted and kind of weird, like this:

Of course we laugh so that encourages her to keep doing this expression. The other expression she learned to do on command at the same time is her “funny eyebrow” thing. “Do your funny eyebrow thing,” I’d tell her, and she’d look me in the eyes all serious, and then lift her eyebrows up and down repeatedly, like “woo woo.” That’s so funny on the face of a toddler. Expressions she already does on command are “the fake pout” which is done simultaneously with a whimper…

and her “serious look,” which we don’t have a photo of cuz it’s just her not smiling and making intense eye contact. As dada missed out on everything driving, we in the back seat went through “Cute smile! Eeee! Funny eyebrow! Hahahaha! Serious. Pout. Hmmmm. Cute smile! Now funny eyebrows! Serious. Pout.”

Later that afternoon, my parents came over and brought a big box of old clothes, hats and puzzles that my cousin is passing down from her 2 daughters, now in elementary school. Actually, I think the older girl is at least in junior high. Most of the things were too big for Allie still, but that didn’t stop her from trying them on.
A girl sometimes has to wear many hats.

Modeling the hat.

While perusing a new book, Grandma Po-po asked to see her “cute smile,” so this is what she presented.

This is what a more natural “cute smile” is supposed to look like.

Grandma Po-Po and Grandpa Gong-Gong were impressed by the somersaults she now does on her own on command.

You can tell when my mom takes photos cuz she makes a point of cutting all adults out of the frame. This is Allie with a genuine “cute smile” expression in yet another new “hat” walking Grandma Po-Po and Grandpa Gong-Gong out after their visit.

I have a TON of photos, so just picking a few wasn’t easy. I did it almost haphazardly. Anyway, here we go.

WEDNESDAY: Arrival at our beach house in La Jolla, San Diego, half a block from the beautiful Windansea beaches!

This is a prime location, altho the house is old and the week stay cost us a month’s worth of our mortgage. But it was a nice roomy 3 bedroom house, well-kept and clean. Fully stocked kitchen.
We walked down to Windansea beach (talk about an affluent area) as soon as we settled in. There were lots of big rocks to climb and sit on, and perfect surfing waves.

Allie had a rough time that night settling down in the playard in a foreign room. It was like sleep-training all over again. She nursed fine, was sleepy when I put her in her playard, but as soon as she realized I was leaving, she stood and cried. Her iPad was playing white noise and I closed her bedroom door behind me. She cried for maybe 10 minutes then went to sleep. It was a painful 10 minutes for me. Thank God we had her fuzzy bear in her playard. She curled up on that familiar security item. This protest crying lasted for 2 nights, and 2 naps. After that it was just like at home, where she’ll curl up on her fuzzy blanket for her nap or her fuzzy bear for bedtime and tell me, “Night night,” suck her thumb, and watch me leave.

THURSDAY: The morning started with a visit to…

Allie doesn’t mind the hiking backpack, altho sometimes she’ll want to explore on her own. Then she says, “Ou? Ou?” for “out.” We had her in part of the time and out to burn some energy whenever the area was flat and uncrowded. She saw and pointed out the “mock-nees,” which surprised us because real monkeys don’t look like her cartoon or stuffed monkeys.
Allie: Mama?
Me: Allie?
Allie: *pointing* Mock-nee?
Me: That’s right, monkey!

We also watched polar bears.

Two cats.

Allie played with the baby elephant for a bit, then found herself patting the leg of the big elephant next to the baby elephant. She looked up following the leg, and noticed the adult elephant for the first time. “Beeeeeeeg!” she breathed. Her new expressions of “beeg” vs “leetle” are funny. I was handing her organic baby puffs to eat on the drive (looks like Cheerios) and gave her a crumbled piece about a quarter of a normal piece. She rolled it between her thumb and forefinger and said in a high-pitched voice, amused, “LEEtle!” After that she would ask for “Puff? Puff? Beeg!”
We spent the morning at the zoo, came back to the beach house for her nap, and in the afternoon, walked with her to the beach. “Beace? Beace? Wa-wa. Bubble!” Yes, the beach is where is water and lots of bubbles and foam. She’s never been in the water when the waves were that big, and whimpered at first, so I’d pick her up so she didn’t get swept out to sea.

Allie warmed up to the beach quickly and had fun.

Lots of big rocks to climb and sit on.

A puddle of ocean on a flat rockbed is fun, too.

Catch-and-release sand.

Dada and baby footprints.

That afternoon, the two stepkidlets got there and we all had a quiet evening in. These two are MELL-OW on vacation. No partying, no bar-hopping, they just took a walk to explore the beach when Allie was going to bed and then wanted to watch the Game Show Network the rest of the night after having dinner in the outdoor patio. I’m not complaining, believe me. I’ll be just fine never having to care for another drunken person.

FRIDAY: Back to the zoo in the morning. This annual pass thing comes in handy.

That afternoon, the stepkidlets’ respective significant-others showed up. They worked out their carpool arrangements pretty well so that each couple had a car for their trip back. Allie, meanwhile, had her first dip in a jacuzzi. The verdict? “Wa-wa. Bubble. Hot.”

She stayed in there maybe 15, 20 minutes before asking for “ou? ou?”
The kids all hung out at the house keeping an eye on Allie (thru the babycam) while Mr. W and I went to pick up pizzas for dinner. Seriously, mellowest group of young adults ever. They went for a walk at the beach, came home, watched some TV, hung out in the jacuzzi for a bit, went to bed. The entire house was dark by 11-ish.

SATURDAY: Mr. W and I doubled-dated with the stepdaughter and her boyfriend (plus Allie) and took a walk to breakfast while the stepson and his girlfriend slept in a bit. BTW, the sleeping arrangement the kids (all in their early 20s) worked out between themselves in the largest bedroom with a queen bed and two bunk beds is that the guys took the bunks and the girls took the queen bed. I did not expect that. That’s pretty courteous. After everyone had their breakfasts, we drove over to the Underwater Park area to see the many seals, sea birds, and play in the cove. And I thought it was a scenic enough area to force everyone to take group photos I wanted. Heh heh. Here are Mr. W’s two daughters.

Here’s the group with the horizon tilted cuz Mr. W had to set the camera up on a rock with a timer.

Mr. W’s three kidlets.

In the afternoon, as the kids all prepared to leave, my parents arrived. Stepdaughter helped me change the sheets on the queen bed in the big room. And soon, the kids were off to return to their busy lives at home, and we continued our vacation with a new set of babysitters for Allie. We took my parents to explore the nearby Windansea beaches, too.

Poor baby threw up her lunch this afternoon, and had runny poopies the next day. I think it was from the introduction of all the foreign bacteria in seawater, since she kept sucking the ocean salt off her fingers after she’s done playing at the beaches.

SUNDAY: Sunday morning, we did what my dad and Mr. W had been looking forward to for YEARS. My mom said my dad hasn’t stopped talking about the champagne brunch seafood buffet at Tom Ham’s Lighthouse since we took them there 4 years ago. The place was closed for renovation and only opened up that weekend, and was serving their very first meal THAT brunch. Were we lucky with timing or what?

Allie and my dad had fun exploring the new grounds.

Allie had lots of shrimp, a bite of lobster, and more crab than she’s ever had before.

Since we were the first ones to arrive for their first meal served and had made their first reservations, we were seated at a corner with full panoramic windows around us at 90-degrees. We even caught a live show of some trainers working with their dolphin, teaching it to jump, flip, hug, etc on command. This was probably a dolphin from nearby Sea World.
The weather took a turn that day, however, and started raining. We spent the afternoon visiting an aquarium for something to do. The La Jolla area had virtually no indoor options, Mr. W was unhappy to find out. Even all the malls were outdoor open-air styles. But Allie still had fun looking at fish, petting starfish and playing with “babies.”

She even got up close and personal with a shark encounter.

MONDAY: It rained all morning, but did clear up in the afternoon. We took advantage of the sunshine and drove to the La Jolla rocky cove section again, so that my parents could explore the area. Allie did some rock climbing herself.

She did not want to get off this high perch with the great view of the ocean and the seals sunning on their rock islands.

There were even twisted trees to climb.

What’s twistier, the trees or the grandparents?

Grandpa Gong-gong and Grandma Po-po left this evening. We were finally on our own for a few days. It was eerily quiet.

TUESDAY: The weather was decent all day, so we hit the zoo in the morning again, and in the afternoon after Allie’s nap, we took a long bike ride along the coast, exploring the “trendy,” more “night-life” part of the San Diego beaches, through Pacific Beach Park down to Mission Beach and back. Man, there are a lot of vacation weekly rental properties along the shores. I guess that’s one way to get help paying the $30K monthly mortgage. Here’s Allie at Mission Beach where we let her out to go run around a bit.

When we were dressing her that morning, she said, “Mimi?” That’s her word for Minnie Mouse, and we looked around, but didn’t see any Minnie items in the room.
“Minnie? Do you see Minnie?”
She pointed at her pants. “Mimi?” she said again. Ha. Never knew she noticed Minnie’s attire, but yes, that’s definitely Minnie’s classic color theme.

WEDNESDAY: We packed up and left Wednesday morning. I hadn’t expected to stay the whole week since Mr. W had been wanting to leave once it started raining. Good thing the skies cleared up after a couple of days. Allie woke up so early that morning that she fell asleep for half an hour in the car on the drive back, which is unusual for her. It did mess up her nap routines and bedtime a bit, but overall she still came out fine in the hours of sleep she had. What vacation doesn’t screw up a kid a little, right? She was so cute sleeping, tho.

I rarely get to be next to her when she’s asleep, so I got to study her sleeping form. Made me sleepy, as well.

I had told Mr. W last night that my sense of things, the way it would make true sense to me based on the timing and my understanding of Dodo and order, was that Dodo would pass that night. He would not wait until Monday morning’s 9:30a appointment to be put down. He would not want to spend his last days being boarded, away from us and away from a familiar environment, in a cage with veterinary care. This is why he chose Wednesday to stop eating, and Sunday to go truly downhill. Sunday, when everything’s closed and I can’t possibly board him. He also wouldn’t want to hang on until later in the week, when we were gone on vacation, to go when we’d feel helpless and far away from him, and I’d be guilt-stricken at not being by his side, forever wondering if he felt abandoned at that critical time.

Yesterday afternoon after Allie’s nap, I called my parents and told them we were going over there for the weekend visit, instead of having them come here. They were already in their cars about a mile out and they turned around to go home. I left Dodo in peace and quiet, hoping it was what he needed. I’d also long ago removed the baby gate I’d placed to keep Dodo in the restroom/vanity section of our bedroom (at the advice of the vet technician for post-enema “accidents,” but there was none and he’d gone in the litter box as soon as he got home), to allow him free reign. He chose to go back in our walk-in closet across the room, where he’d been most of his time in the past few months. When we got back from my parents’, I checked on him and he had gone to back to the litter box twice and was once again in his favorite spot in the walk-in closet, hanging out as if nothing were wrong. He turned to watch me when I walked in, and I petted him, he purred, lifted his tail in response, and I told him again it was okay for him to do what he needed to do. That I love him. In the evening at his usual medication time, he seemed to be sleeping so I left him alone. College roommie Diana’s advice was that it wasn’t worth waking him for, since if he’s comfortable enough to sleep, he’s probably all right, but that I can medicate him if he wakes up. Soon after, he was awake, so I only gave him the meds to make him comfortable. Anti-nausea med, blood pressure med so he doesn’t feel sick, acid meds so his tummy doesn’t get upset. And I gave him some water by oral syringe as well. Mr. W petted him and I petted him until he put his head down against the dresser, purring. I noticed the tip of his tongue was sticking out a little and his eyes seemed dry; he was probably pretty dehydrated. “Is your tongue out because you’re thirsty?” I asked him.
“No, I think it’s just because he’s that weak,” Mr. W said. I hoped he would have a peaceful easy transition soon. This limbo thing was so awful. He didn’t appear to be in pain, but I wondered if he were uncomfortable, hungry, thirsty. He did turn and change positions a couple times before I went to bed, so he wasn’t so weak he couldn’t adjust himself.

At 6:30 this morning, Mr. W went in the closet to check on him. He came back slightly sniffly-sounding and I asked sleepily, “Is he gone?”
“Yeah,” Mr. W told me.
“Oh, good,” I said, knowing this is exactly when, where, and how Dodo chose to go. He was silent all night, not one sound of struggle, no labored breathing at any point. And then a thought occurred to me. “How do you know?”
“Because he’s cold and stiff.” Mr. W got the towel that had lined Dodo’s carrier. “I’m going to wrap him up in this.” I didn’t watch. I was grateful for the first time ever that my nearsightedness kept me from being able to see much when I wake up in the morning. I had planned to take Dodo to the vet this morning no matter what; Mr. W placed the towel pile with my cat inside into the carrier.
Allie was already up, so Mr. W went and got her, put her in the bed next to me (a new thing we just started doing last weekend for a bit of cuddle time in the morning), and went into massive cleaning mode as Allie and I looked at photos and videos on my cell phone. By the time Allie had finished nursing and was dressed for the day, our room looked as if there were never a cat in it. Cat litter, cat food bowls, cat lounge tree, cat fur, it was all gone. I’m grateful he did all that, because I just didn’t have it in me. Not yet.

Allie looked for Dodo this morning. She went trotting into the walk-in closet as usual, saying, “Dodo?” Not finding him or any trace of him, she leaned down and looked under the dresser, the massage chair, the hanging clothes, calling, “Dodo?” We didn’t tell her anything.

I called the vet as soon as they were open and the girl who was supposed to come over later today to go over Dodo’s meds, as we’d arranged for her to come over twice a day to care for and medicate Dodo while we’re on vacation this week, answered the phone. I told her of Dodo’s passing. She told me about a cremation service that they use if I wanted that option; they would be by later today for pickups. The service, called Peaceful Paws, does individual cremations where they would return the ashes to us in a cedar box for about $150, or they can do a group cremation, and spread the ashes over the sea in San Diego. I had no idea that was an option, and such an affordable one at a little over $50. It makes a difficult transition more beautiful and peaceful, and very affordable, for pet parents.

I never saw Dodo lifeless. Mr. W wouldn’t even let me handle the carrier, even though Dodo was completely wrapped in the towel and not visible through the “windows” and “doors” of it. I asked him again, “Are you sure he’s gone? What if he’s just really really weak?”
Mr. W said firmly, “I’m sure. He’s gone. Do you want details?” There were details? No. Thanks for protecting me from those.

The three of us took Dodo to the vet for the last time. It was weird to be in an exam room with the metal examination table lifted up flush against the wall instead of down so a pet could be placed on it. The girl whom I’d spoken to on the phone took Dodo’s carrier from us to the back room. The female vet, fairly recently back from maternity leave and whom I haven’t seen for a year, but who I really, really like, came in the exam room with Dodo’s chart and gave me a big hug. She said that Dodo’s chart “painted a bleak picture.” He definitely took a drastic dip and lots of values were 4, 5 times higher than normal. His kidneys had failed and he was in renal failure. Even hospitalization may not have saved him at that point. She also believed that he chose his time to go in the way and place that he was most comfortable and felt most safe. We chatted about her new baby (she’s a beautiful glowing mom), partly because she’d taken such a strong interest in Allie a year ago and also because it was a joyous topic and talking about Dodo, she looked near tears and I had cried too much this weekend already. I donated unused renal food and will donate all the remainder of his drugs to the vet’s office to help stock their drug supply and to help out with their patients who may be getting newly diagnosed with kidney disease. It’s expensive to keep your pet healthy as best you can when you’re fighting such an intimidating disease. Plus, I found out Saturday how difficult it is to get anti-nausea meds, and I know for a fact the vet’s office doesn’t have it on hand or they would’ve supplied me with it instead of having me go on the wild goose chase I did for it. Dr. T also confirmed that a 15-year-old purebred Scottish Fold is a rare thing, indeed. “You did very well with him,” she told me.

Dodo’s going to beat us to the San Diego beaches by a couple of days. What a clever little fellow. I’ll be thinking about him a lot when we’re there in the beach house we’d rented for our vacation.

I posted this on the social network, and was so touched by the sheer number of responses and love, prayers, comforting words, cyber hugs.

“Cindy’s Dodo boy passed in the middle of the night last night, quietly, peacefully, with never a struggle or labored breathing. Even in his weakness, he managed to make it to the litter box anytime he needed to go, so for the people who told me to restrict his allowed areas & sacrifice his comfort for the sake of our carpets & pen him into the restroom area when he got kidney disease*, u were wrong. Dodo was a great soul to the end. Thank u for being a consistent loving presence thru all my major joys, heartaches, challenges & progressions the last 13 years. Mommy will see u again. Fly, my Dodo bird, fly.”

* i.e., that nanny Laura we’d tried out for 2 days

Baby-boo is 17 months old today!

This reminds me…I gotta make an 18-month appointment for her. She hasn’t been to the pediatrician for awhile as the well-visits stretch farther and farther apart with older babies, so I don’t have any stats. I do know that in the last month, she went through yet another growth spurt, and I’d had to pack up all her clothes smaller than 18 month sized and send it on to the next baby girl behind her (Michelle & Eddie’s daughter Scarlett, who just recently turned 1). I think she’s outgrown her size 4/5 shoes, too, and is now in 5/6.

For whatever reason, Mr. W is now all video-friendly with her. She watches herself on videos, Disney movies’ song snippets from the movies (“Bubble! Bubble!” she’d point out excitedly when she watches the “Under the Sea” song in The Little Mermaid), and Sesame Street song videos. Even though Mickey/Minnie was her first recognized character (I think she thinks they’re the same creature in different costumes, as they’re both “Mimi” to her), Elmo was a close second and her current favorite. She’d see him across the room and say, “Momo?” #3 coming in the past week is Winnie the Pooh (“Boo!”). Her two favorite music videos are Sesame Street’s Ernie and Elmo singing “Sing After Me” (I think that’s the song’s name) and Pooh singing “Up Down and Touch the Ground.” She now goes around all day singing “feedo…deedo…” and will lay/stand in her crib dancing and singing before finally laying down to sleep at night.
When she sees Pooh in her room decor, or randomly thinks of it, she’ll say “Boo?”
Sometimes I’m not sure what she’s referring to so I’ll ask, “What? Book?”
And she’ll clarify by putting both arms in the air and bringing them back down, just like Pooh, and say, “Up down.”
If we sing just a word of two from either song, she’d identify the character.
Me: “Sing dye dye dye.”
Allie: “Dye dye dye! Momo.” And she’ll snicker in that “kkk kkk kkk” way of Ernie’s (who does that half-way into the song).
Me: “Doe doe doe.”
Allie: “Doe doe!”
Me: “Up, down, touch the ground…”
Allie: “Boo!” *flapping arms up and down* “Up, down.”

She’s got new words all the time and tries to tell stories. Jayne had told us yesterday that while at the park, a big bulldog came running up out of nowhere and knocked Allie over. Because we’d known about it already, when Allie said to us in the evening, “Doggy. Doggy. Boom!” we knew what she was telling us.

Her favorite foods right now are beets, carrots, oranges, and new single fruits. She went nuts over loquats yesterday. She’s still more interested in single foods than in mixed things like when I make a one-pot wonder. She’ll eat it, but she’d rather eat asparagus or cauliflower by itself. Oh, and ice. She loves crushed ice and with a little bowl of it, she’ll happily crunch until, as she points out, the bowl holds only “wa-wa” instead of “ice.” When she finds a big piece of ice, she’ll say “Beeg!” and stuff it in her mouth.

She looooves sand and rocks. The zen garden at the front of the house has become her sandbox, complete with her rakes and shovels now part of the scenery. She’ll squat over and play with the rocks lining the front edge of our yard for as long as we let her.

Still loves other kids. Will walk up to strange kids and play. (Still calls them “baby,” too.) Still silent around strange adults. She’ll stare at a stranger but if they stare back, she’ll look over their shoulder and refuse to make eye contact. Until she warms up, of course, which happens faster in her own environment, and then she’ll dig out all her current favorite toys to show the new person.

We’ve got her sitting on her potty periodically, which she’ll tolerate, but nothing’s happened in it, yet.

She’s supposed to be going through a normal predictable long (as in, 6 weeks) fussy period pursuant to Wonder Weeks right now, with tantrums and major resistance as she realizes she should have a say as to what to do with her own body parts and where to go. She had tantrums for about a week when we “forced her” to get her diaper changed, “refused her” requests to play with the remote controls or computer components, “forbade her” to go to sections of the house unsupervised by closing the safety gate leading to those areas. Whines, tears, flailing, hitting the nearest wall, banging her forehead on the ground, and everything. We would just sit calmly and not give in. After a week, seeing she doesn’t get her way that way, she stopped it and now sings through her diaper changes, altho she’d still be unhappy with us when we wouldn’t let her take the mouse or remote control, or watch a ton of videos just because she’s pointing to the computer monitor or iPad and saying, “Momo?”

Her hair’s coming in a rather light shade of ash brown. Surprisingly light. I’m seeing less and less genetic input from me; maybe her eyes will turn blue next month. The explosive tantrums are definitely her dad’s. Ha.

Schedule-wise, Allie wakes up on her own at about 6:30a, and if she’s not up already, on weekdays Mr. W wakes her up between 6:25a-6:30a. She gets her diaper changed, nurses, gets her teeth brushed, then goes downstairs to wait for Jayne. (Sometimes Jayne comes when Allie’s still nursing, and hearing the door, Allie will pull away and say, “Jing?”) Jayne makes her breakfast of usually eggs/omelet, some fruit and/or cereal and whole milk around 8:30a, picks out her clothes for the day according to the weather. Then they go to the park and come back around 11a. (On a weekend, I give her a light snack like fruit/yogurt/cheese and milk around 10:15a, but Jayne doesn’t do mid-morning snacks cuz she does a more substantial breakfast.) Allie has lunch at about 11:30a, then takes her nap at noon. I’m starting to think that nap duration depends how tired she is, so she’ll sleep between 90 minutes and almost 3 hours. Then she has an afternoon snack, they go play somewhere or draw with crayons, and we get home around 5pm. We feed Allie dinner around 5:15p, she plays and/or takes a bath, then it’s bedtime routine around 6:30p. She is read a story (which she still has trouble sitting through) or given an interactive story/video/educational game on iPad, then she’s changed into her jammies, gets her teeth brushed, nurses, and is usually in her crib between 7-7:15p. Once she’s in her crib, it’s immediate lights-out until morning when Mr. W gets her to start her day.

Just for kicks, here’s a 2-minute video of Allie meeting Elmo for the first time in person on Saturday. Mr. W decided to surprise Allie with an Elmo puppet, and set it up on the stairway landing while Allie napped.

My daily caloric expenditure is at probably the lowest it’s been since before I gave birth, now that Allie’s down to a few minutes’ worth of nursing mornings after she gets out of bed and nights before she goes to bed. I can no longer eat with the carefree attitude I did when I was nursing/pumping full-time, when I paid attention to the quality of calories, but not much to the quantity, knowing it was mostly coming out in the form of milk anyway. So of course, the weight’s coming back on. Granted, the all-time low I was in during my PPD days could not be sustained cuz it just wasn’t healthy to get to that weight by wasting away. I think the lowest I’d been was something like 114 lbs. Now I’m easily in my 120s, but I’m not sure what the exact weight is because every scale at home is out of batteries. All I know is that I’m jiggly about the lower abdomen and general stomach area, pants are tight around the thighs, and looking at myself grosses me out. I actually go to the gym whenever I’m able, but it’s inconsistent as my perma-lunch-date is still into eating as opposed to gymming at lunchtime. But whenever he’s unavailable for lunch, I am always, always at the gym. I also run a hilly 4.3 miles a few times a week. Nevertheless, the weight is crawling on, driving the measurements up. I’m pretty unhappy. It’s starting to feel like back in the old days when I could not figure out why no matter what it seemed I did, no matter how well I ate, I just kept gaining weight. (It caused me to check into my thyroids, and test results came back borderline hypothyroidism, which means I couldn’t be medicated for it since I wasn’t fully in the hypothyroidism range.) I thought I’d found the roots to that problem years ago by cutting out fast foods, sodas, and most processed foods, because after that, with or without strenuous gymming, my weight was pretty much stable in the low-mid 120s. Maybe the pregnancy screwed with my body’s equilibrium.

Anyway, I am now getting some help with two related apps on my smartphone. The first is one I’ve used before, called Cardiotrainer (free). It tracks, graphs, maps my exercise, and keeps me motivated by putting a little badge for weekly calories burned right on my status bar. The badge color changes each “level” up I achieve that week. Just yesterday, I downloaded a corresponding app that integrates exercise with diet/nutrition, called Noom Weight Loss. Noom takes into account your goals and lifestyle, then recommends for you a breakdown of what types of food to eat each day, how many calories a day, and how much exercise to do/calories to burn a day to get to your goal. It’s easy to use, very visual, and educational. I’ve learned by just using their food log that I have NOT been eating properly. I haven’t put a ton of thought into what I eat lately; I’ve gotten lazy and just had 2 categories in my head of “good” and “bad” food. My lunch today, for example, I would’ve thought was so good for me it was excellent. I had rare Cajun ahi tuna, a side salad (instead of chowder), and grilled veggies (instead of fries). I also had an unsweetened latte and a piece of sourdough bread. I knew those were the “extras” but it wasn’t like I put sugar on them.
According to Noom, I should be eating a proportion of 50% “green” category foods, 35% of “yellow” category foods, and 15% “red” category foods. Foods dense in nutrition with a lot of bulk to fill up the tank are color-coded green; foods still somewhat healthy but less nutrient-dense are yellow; red foods are the fats and things that may be somewhat necessary, but not in hefty quantities. What did my lunch score? The red category was all right, but the quantities in the yellow and green groups are flip-flopped. I was shocked.
Green: side salad (barely registered, since apparently it’s mostly air), grilled carrots, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower. That’s it.
Yellow: sourdough bread, the 2% milk in my latte, AND the tuna. Even tho it’s not fried in oil. (Fried or battered fish would’ve popped it into the “red” category.)
Red: the blue cheese dressing, bit of butter used on my bread and the butter or oil used in the veggie grilling.
I tried to adjust for dinner and had brown rice and quinoa “stir-fried,” oil-free, with carrots, green onions, and lean beef, a cup of unsweetened soy milk, and some strawberries. That ended up surprising me again, with only the beef in the red group and everything else in the green, so I ended up with no yellow. =P Overall, the day sort of balanced out.

The other thing that surprised me is what Noom’s built-in pedometer revealed. Doctors recommend that each person walk 10,000 steps a day, which I’d heard of. The pedometer also set that as my daily goal. Okay, my job’s pretty sedentary, but I did walk more than normal today up and down and around San Clemente Pier/beach after I had lunch there*, while waiting for Mr. W’s “emergency” root canal to be done at a nearby specialist’s office. (Yes, we had to take the afternoon off work for that, since we’d carpooled when he’d decided he was in so much pain he had to call for an urgent appointment. But that’s what happens when you wait 2 decades before seeing a dentist.) By the time I got home, it pedometer shows approximately 3500 steps walked. Since 10K is a number recommended for the average American, and the average American isn’t very active, I figure I’ll just make it to 10K steps by just running a mile or so. I’d already run over 4 miles yesterday and I don’t like to run every day, since I know running is tough on joints. But I’m game for a short, leisurely 10 minute mile-long run. I set off, keeping an eye on the pedometer. Half an hour and 2.8 friggin’ miles later, I gave up at approximately 7500 steps. If almost 3 miles is only 4000 steps, then 10K steps is 7-8 miles! The doctors want EACH AMERICAN to walk 7-8 MILES per DAY? Who has time for that?! If people walked 7-8 miles a DAY, then of COURSE there would be no obesity problem in this country. Geesh!
I’ll try again tomorrow. =P

Noom has a really cute widget called “Bikini” which works off a point system with Noom activities. You get points for “showing up” every day, logging in your meals, extra points for jobs well-done, exercise done, etc. The widget appears as a one-piece swimsuit on a clothes hanger as your icon, and as you earn more points and presumably get healthier and more fit, the swimsuit (from my understanding) gets smaller and smaller to figuratively show off your new bod, until it becomes a tiny bikini. When you’ve reached the point goal, supposedly some “surprise” happens. That’s a great motivation for us curious people. I’ve created an extra page on my smart phone for just this fitness stuff:

* Here are some pics of my Monday afternoon after I had to leave jury selection in a long civil personal injury trial (a train conductor suing the train corporation for injuries sustained on her fall while on the job).
Some guy insisted on taking this photo for me when he was walking by and saw me messing with my cameraphone. The woman he was with did not wait for him and walked on. I don’t think she much appreciated his being nice to me.

Don’t you love how guys always shoot from their level down so the woman always looks like she has a giant head and tiny feet? A woman would’ve shot from straight across.
I had some time after I got back to the car so I did some reading from this bench, with this view.

Sigh. I WILL get a proportionately smaller waistline back. I will.

We met up with my cousin Jennifer, her hubby Brad, and their little girl Alexandra for dim sum last Saturday morning. I’m pretty sure that the last time we’ve all seen each other was at Alex’s first birthday party 6 months ago, so reacquainting the two little girls was overdue.

While waiting for Jen, Brad and Alex’s arrival at the Irvine Spectrum, we let Allie run around the quad by a Ferris wheel. (We’d agreed to meet in front of Capital Seafood for dim sum, but as it’s the first building nearest the street, Allie kept trying to dart toward the parking structure across the street. Kinda scary.) Allie saw a little boy about her age running around with his daddy and some other guy. She decided to follow him. When he finally saw her, he decided to chase after her, and Allie played coy, turning around and running back across the lawn, the small boy in pursuit. She climbed onto a chair, he climbed up after her, and suddenly, she decided he was in her space. I thought it was cute, though, and asked if the boy’s dad was okay if I took/posted a photo. He said it was fine and that if his wife were there, she’d be taking photos, too. So here’s Allie and Hudson.

Hudson was friendly and even hugged Allie, but she’d apparently already made up her mind.

Turns out Hudson is 18 months so he’s got 2 months on Allie, a month for each inch she has on him. =P This is starting to happen a lot.

Soon, Jennifer, Brad and Alex arrived. The two little cousins were a bit shy with each other, and Alex so shy that she didn’t want to go near Allie and wanted to be carried by her parents. Our fiercely independent girl didn’t push, but she was good running/walking on her own to the restaurant. Both girls ate pretty well, across from each other between their respective parents, and Jennifer was impressed watching Allie gobble up the extra steamed cauliflower and carrots I’d brought along. Dim sum isn’t known for being very veggie-oriented. Alex ate well on her own and can use a fork, and did resist veggies like her parents predicted. Allie ate a lot of the Chinese broccoli we’d ordered for the table. I let her sample everything, but didn’t want her to eat a ton of the sodium- and MSG-laden food. Allie didn’t much miss it.

After brunch, we tried to get the girls play together for a bit.

Alex wouldn’t get close enough for Allie to hug, so Allie hugged the nearest bush, instead.

Yes, I’ve heard jokes about her almost being a tree-hugger. I’ll have you know that while we were waiting for Jen, etc to arrive, Allie did indeed hug a few palm trees in between dancing from one music-blaring wall speaker to another to another.
With her daddy in tow, Alex got a little friendlier.

Here are the two either playing invisible soccer, or doing the kid-n-play.

They even watched a few horses go by.

When we were walking back to our cars, Alex was holding on to Jen’s hand toddling along, and Allie was running along ahead of us. I thought it would be cute to get a photo of us two mommies walking with our little girls, holding their hands, but Jennifer misunderstood me and picked Alex up. I figured a photo with us holding each of our girls is fine, too, so we took that. The girls refused to smile.

And then we moved to do the photo pose I wanted, but Alex got shy again and refused to be put down, so I didn’t get that photo. Oh, well…next time. But meanwhile, Allie decided to play Runway Model and struck a pose.

I was a little surprised at Alex being so shy since she’d been in daycare for most of her life, so I thought she’d be very social. However, her cautiousness may highlight something Mr. W is concerned about — kids in daycare deal with all sorts of little personalities, some overaggressive, and they have to know how to protect themselves. Allie doesn’t know to do that; she’ll walk up to any kid and want to share toys, give them hugs, touch their hand, and for some kids, this is invading their personal space. Mr. W is afraid that in a social setting, Allie may get picked on or pushed or something because she doesn’t know to stay away from other kids until they’re ready for her. I don’t have enough kid experience to know either way, whether it’s a learned protective behavior we’re seeing or just a personality thing. I’m not very concerned at this point. I rather like my friendly secure kid.

Allie went to Gong-gong (grandpa) and Po-po (grandma) ‘s house on Sunday morning for a visit. My mom is kinda paranoid about Allie putting things in her mouth, which Allie doesn’t much do anymore, but my mom is still heavily restrictive. Allie has some fun with that, the little goofy goof.