cindy's world

Vanessa had asked me for a typing tutor computer program some time ago, and Mr. W gave her a CD-ROM: Mavis Beacon Typing Tutor V.16. She caught me online earlier and said she’d reached a milestone: she’s typing without looking at her keyboard! Yay! And here is why she needs to keep going with the program:

Vanessa: People keep passing by my desk asking me what i am up to because I have a huge grin
me: stop grinning. we can talk about something solemn.
Vanessa: That makes me look funny!
me: Okay, let’s see…you’re 90, and you’ve got no sex drive, and all you’re using the cabana boy for is to listen to you ramble on about your cat.
Vanessa: WHAT???? NOOOO! That is WRONG! At least have the cabana boy feeding me.
me: “And Fluffy was my 3rd cat, after Angelina and Maxwell, you remember. Well, it seemed that Fluffy didn’t get along with the neighbor’s dog, Oodle…”
Vanessa: Like rapes or something cool. Or better fanning me.
Vanessa: Grapes!!!
me: okay, he’ll be raping you while you’re going on about your cats.
Vanessa: I meant GRAPES!! I just caught that!!!! SORRY!
me: that’s NOT what you wrote.
Vanessa: Note to self – I must scan or proof read before pressing enter. I know!
That’s not what i meant. Man… I must use that CD more often

Or maybe this is less reason for Vanessa needing to type better, than reason that people don’t IM me that often. Hmm.

I hate, hate all the annoying phone calls I get from Family Law litigants wanting to know what’s going on with their divorce. Look, just cuz you turned in some half-ass papers a year ago doesn’t mean that your divorce will miraculously be processed today, okay?! In honor of those annoyances, here’s a Tuesday Barbie joke. (Coincidentally, as I was driving home yesterday I was remembering my first Barbie doll and how I came upon her, and considered blogging about her, but changed my mind. Today I get a Barbie joke on email.)

~*~
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toy shop and asks the salesperson, “How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?”

The salesperson answers, “Which one do you mean, sir? We have:
Work Out Barbie for $19.95,
Shopping Barbie for $19.95,
Beach Barbie for $19.95,
Disco Barbie for $19.95,
Ballerina Barbie for $19.95,
Astronaut Barbie for $19.95,
Skater Barbie for $19.95,
And Divorced Barbie for $265.95”

The amazed father asks, “You what?! Why is Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?”

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers, “Sir…, Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Computer and… One of Ken’s Friends.”

International Symbol of Marriage

I had a letter-perfect Sunday. Mr. W suggested a picnic with my parents to take advantage of the sunny beautiful day. I at first said it wouldn’t be a good idea, since my parents wouldn’t appreciate the annoyances of unruly, undisciplined kids running amock, bird poo on the picnic tables to avoid, and the bees, ants and other insects to fight for our food. Plus, the hassle of packing stuff to be eaten outdoors! “Are these reasons your parents wouldn’t want to go on a picnic, or why YOU don’t want to go on a picnic?!” Mr. W asked skeptically. Same thing, right?
I called my parents on the phone and asked my mom what she thought of the picnic idea. “Picnic?!” she exclaimed. “Severe allergies!”
“YES, severe ALLERGIES!” I repeated loudly to Mr. W over the phone.
My mom heard me and hurriedly said, “If you two want to go take a stroll in a park, we’ll go with you for company!” Darn.
Mr. W and I stopped by a Chinese patisserie on the way to my parents’ and bought a variety of fresh baked rolls and breads for picnic food, but everyone ended up eating it all at my parents’ house along with a freshly cut bowl of syrupy sweet honeydew melons. (I admit it, it was me; I was too hungry.) And then it was off to a nearby Chino Hills park that my parents had recently discovered.
The park was really pretty, with a big pond in the middle and weeping willows almost dipping their long trains into the water surface. At the front end of the pond, a variety of turtles of all sizes sunned on a floating log. At the back end of the pond, a large rocky waterfall spilled onto the duck-lined water. The four of us watched in amusement as a male duck, with his bill tucked into his wing and seemingly asleep, followed a female duck around the pond, popping his head up abruptly when he’d accidentally run into her, and then settling back down to his lazy nap. Another male duck followed another female duck around, aggressively fighting off other male ducks who dared approach the nonchalant female. The females seemed completely oblivious to all the vying going on around them for their attention.

After walking around the park, the four of us went back to my parents’ house, where I fiddled with the piano a bit. Then Mr. W and I set off back to his home. On the drive back, we passed a newly remodeled shopping mall and he noted that he’d be interested in seeing how the place looked, as it’s so nice now from the outside. “Wanna go right now?” I suggested. So off on a detour we went. I didn’t get past the Victoria’s Secret store, which was having a sale on sportswear. I picked up 2 sports tops and a sports bra, and with the discount my total bill went from $150 to $90-some. I handed over two giftcards for the store and paid less than $6 out-of-pocket for the items. Good deal.

And then off we went to attempt the trip home again. Until suddenly, Mr. W noted that we were really close to a hole-in-the-wall Mexican seafood restaurant in the ghettoest part of Santa Ana that had the best ceviche. Hence, our second detour led us to a refreshing dinner.

Finally at home after that, Mr. W and I donned our swimsuits and hung out in the whirlpool jacuzzi. Later, back at his house, we wound down the rest of the way by enjoying popcorn while watching the pilot episode of Ally McBeal. I’d never seen the pilot, and it’s pretty good in setting up the character dynamics of the show without feeling rushed in giving you too much information too quickly. We’re now starting Season 1 of Ally McBeal, and I can’t wait for episode 2. But for some reason, I can’t seem to find additional seasons. 🙁

Oh well, short of the nightmare I had, it was a great Sunday.

This is me stuffing my face yesterday as I waddled from one location to another. PMS much?

Mint chocolate cookie Pria bar (110 cals)…whilst putting gas in the car paying an insulting $3.07/gal for 87 grade gas
1 package chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast mixed into 2 cups of soy milk (130+200)…at Mr. W’s whilst waiting for him to get ready for the car dealership (maintenance on his Prius)
1/2 fresh-out-the-oven ham & cheese stuffed croissant and 1/2 grilled chicken sandwich, plus iced honey chrysanthemum tea drink…lunch at Lee’s Sandwiches whilst waiting for car to be done
1 small cup (2 scoops) taro ice cream…dessert from Lee’s Sandwiches (no, it did not taste like frozen poi. Poi isn’t sweetened.)
1/2 caramel, dark chocolate and almonds candied apple…from Marceline’s Confectionery at Downtown Disney
1 caramel apple martini…at the UVA Bar, Downtown Disney, after completion of candied apple munching
1 huge steak-sized cut of Cajun-seared rare Ahi tuna, 2 strips of grilled zucchini, 4 pieces baked pita bread with hummus…at Malibu Fish Grill in Santa Ana
1 pink grapefruit…whilst watching Happy Feet

I woke up this morning feeling…eeewwwww! Uuuuuggggghhhh! I had to jump in the shower right away to wash out the excessive calories. (Don’t you wish it were that easy?) Mr. W was already up and about, making himself coffee, listening to his audiobook on his MP3 player, sunning on the patio. “Hey!” he said as he saw me stagger out the hall with hair in my face. He hugged me and I leaned my drippy head against his chest. “You took a shower?”
“No,” I said from within the muffled hair.
“Then’s why’s your hair wet?” he asked.
“Sweat,” I explained.
“You little shit,” he laughed. “Don’t lie to me!”
From within the hair: “Don’t call me a little shit! You big shit! You chunk of diarrhea!”

And then I thought about why I feel so shitty. So I came to blog it all out so I can see it here in black and white. Oh, here it is. Blech.

Mel posted a reference to a Newsweek article that cites a study finding that exercise actually promotes neurogenesis. You can read her inspiring post here. I’ve been on this personal mission to get people around me to get healthy, eat better, exercise more, and a lot of people have taken me up on it. It’s not just about longevity, it’s about have a better quality of life while still alive. And now we find that exercise actually makes you SMARTER, too! Okay, I admit that my “mission” isn’t all charity — it’s selfish, too. I want my friends and loved ones around longer so they’d be around to hear me bitch and moan when I’m having a bad day. And take me out for some fun. And sushi. And for that, they get to live longer and healthier. We all win.

This study, of course, supports the theory that the gym is a great place to pick up. Not just weights, but dates. It also shoots down at least in part the stereotype that gym rats are meatheads who go around grunting because that’s all their tiny over-muscled heads are capable of processing in the way of social interaction and conscious thought.

Last weekend, Mr. W and I had dim sum with his friend. We’ll call him John because that’s a totally generic name and because that’s actually his name. John brought his new girlfriend whom neither Mr. W nor I had met until that day, and the four of us had some interesting conversations over brunch. Monday or Tuesday, I got a call at work from Mr. W. “John was just here,” he said, “And he told me, ‘Cindy’s really smart! You can tell by just 5 minutes of talking to her! I bet she keeps you on your toes!’ And I told him, ‘Yeah, she is really smart, and in spite of my many years of living and life experience over hers, I still learn new things from her every day.’ ” Awwww, isn’t that sweet? And here I thought I was being acknowledged and complimented on about my cognitive functions, when in actuality, I was being praised for my dedication toward exercise!

P.S. Today is a court holiday – Caesar (thanks Wilco) Chavez Day. I’m not able to list his accomplishments off the top of my head, but if the County says he’s important, who am I to dispute? So to all you non-County workers, *putting fingers behind ears and waving them at you* Nyanny nyanny nyah nyah!! Pttthhhh!!!

James said he is making good use of his birthday goodie basket. Any takers on guessing the content? I’ll repost the items here and then post the answers in another password-protected post. If you comment and give me some guesses, I’ll email you the password! Fun, huh? =)

* There’s a magazine in the collection. To help with his…”hobby.” He probably wouldn’t read it for the articles, tho.
* We included a bottle of performance-enhancing supplements.
* A rapid hand-jerking back-and-forth motion is required to take full advantage of some of the goodies.
* There’s wood involved.
* There are many little packets that you tear open to use the contents.
* There are lots of products meant to make you swell. Real big. And hard. Like a real man.
* Some products may result in frothy, milky fluid production.
* There’s plastic to wrap the wood in.
* We even included a cloth to put around the hips, you know, to catch the drippage.
* There are multiple single-use packages of long items for inserting into moist holes.

Vanessa managed to steal some free time to post about James’ birthday shindig, so I’ll just refer you to her post. 🙂 Plus, the photos she sent me were so large that my image hosting site wouldn’t take them. This is the only 2 photos I was able to successfully download, so I’ll refer you to Vanessa’s blog for the photos, too. How large were they? Well, as I told Vanessa, they were SO large that when I tried to view them, all I got on screen was, like, an elbow, and I couldn’t see the rest until I scroll it to death. And then the image that scrolled in was so large that it scared me and I had to close the window.

Oh, I will add one thing that Vanessa didn’t cover in her post. We didn’t get to the ice cream cake until past 10pm, which the waitress was nice enough to have stored in the freezer for us and brought it out with plates when we were done with dinner. Around the same time, she told us that the bar was about to close, and asked if there were any last drinks she could bring for anybody. I highly recommended the chocolate cake shots, which Wilco’s fiance Christi turned me on to when Mr. W and I visited San Francisco a year ago (time flies!). We finished the cake closer to 11pm, and left a bit after that. The waitress was very nice the entire time. It wasn’t until later that James realized Taps closes weeknights at 10pm!! We totally overstayed! This is such a different treatment from when I, Mr. W, Vanessa, and her friend were eating Korean tofu and they KICKED US OUT because patrons were waiting for a table. Aside from having the BEST ahi tuna tar tar (which I ordered and everyone was jealous of once they got a taste), the service is enough to have me going back more often. I’m glad I gave a 30% tip. James’ friends were so generous in putting down their shares of the tab that I was able to apply extra toward tip. 🙂

I managed to shove a 3.75 mile hills run into my evening before Vanessa came by my house to meet me before leaving for James’ house. I would’ve liked to go 4 miles, but as it was I was already late. When Vanessa got to my house I had just emerged from the shower. Rushing out (with 5 minutes to make a 15-minute drive to James’), I grabbed my purse and thought, “Oh, it’s empty in here. That’s cuz I still need to put my cell phone in.” The cell had died earlier and was charging upstairs. Right after thinking that, I closed up the purse and LEFT. Without the phone. (I did say I was insanely absent-minded this week, right?)

I offered to drive so Vanessa can drink. We hopped in my car, and I called James via its bluetooth as I pulled out of the garage. “You know what happens when you have GIRLS pick you up, right?” I said, about to apologize for being late. “What? You’re breaking up,” James was able to get out before we lost connection. I figured I’d try again later, but later, I couldn’t pick up the connection again via the car. It kept saying to check phone. And then I realized…I’d left the phone upstairs! The only reason I was able to call from the garage was because my car was able to pick up the connection via bluetooth through the ceiling, which is the floor of where the phone laid. “Screw it,” I said. And then Vanessa reminded me that I’d given everyone on the evite list my cell # for a contact number. CRAP. We were so late I drove to James’, picked him up, dropped them both off at Taps, and then I went back home to get the phone.

…to be continued when Vanessa sends me the photos from the evening. (How’s that for pressure?)

I had a cRaZy day! I’m taking a break from 5 very complicated sentencings to say hello out there to my blogger friends. I’ve got 2 more civil harassment cases to finish up.

Tonight is James’ belated birthday shindig. The weather turned unexpectedly very nice in Southern California today, so we’re gonna grab seats in the giant outdoors patio at Taps Brewery. (It was blue skies and sunshine when I left for the gym at lunch yesterday, but by the time we left the gym, there was a hurricane alert, it was dark and gray and pouring rain sideways in the wind. Leaves, twigs, and pine needles were flying sideways like a brown blizzard. My gym trainee had to throw her body weight against the gym door to open it into the wind, and we almost got blown over when we stepped out. Rain pelted me sideways in the wind so hard that I felt each individual drop, and I was drenched on the right side but not on the left. “Dang! Are we in Oz?” my trainee exclaimed.) The patio has heat lamps and 2 oversized fireplaces, so even if it gets cold we should be fine. Vanessa and I are gonna pick James up at 7:40p for meeting everyone at 8p. That way he can drink to his little heart’s delight. Actually, I can, too. Vanessa can’t, though. Haha. That’s the price of being a good friend, I guess. After we present him with his basket o’ loot, I’ll let you guys guess as to what you think each of the clues referred to, and I’ll give the answers.

I didn’t get to work out at lunch today since I attended a coworker’s retirement banquet instead. Great food! I got to bring Mr. W along as a guest date. That was fun. Obviously I can’t work out late tonight, either, so I’m busting my hump to finish my work and go straight to the gym. The most effective workout I can think of in a small amount of time is running the treadmill, so I’m gonna aim for at least a 3-mile run. As long as I can grab a treadmill, it doesn’t matter how busy the gym is after work hours today. *crossing fingers*

I seem to be insanely absent-minded lately. Earlier in the week, I forgot to put my earrings on after the gym at lunch, and they were dangling on some mesh outside of my gym bag, and by the time I remembered and went to look for the earrings, one was gone. The next day I asked the gym lost-and-found, but no one had turned them in. 🙁 It’s one of my favorite pairs. Actually, I think it IS my favorite pair. It’s a cone-shaped silver dangle with the Celtic trinity knot all over and under it. *sniffle* On the same day I lost the earring, I’d also lost my ID badge, which I wear clipped to the outside of my suit. I know I had it on when I walked from the parking structure to the courthouse, but somehow it disappeared after that. I luckily found it later on the floor of the parking structure. This morning, after stepping out of the shower, I realized I should cut my nails. As I was pressed for time, I cut my right index fingernail first since that’s the finger I use to put on my liquid foundation. I was gonna let the foundation set for 60 seconds (it’s the Revlon Colorstay sets-in-60-seconds foundation) as I was clipping my other fingernails, but after I applied the foundation, I totally forgot to finish clipping my nails so right now I have 9 longish fingernails and 1 short one. Seriously, what is WRONG with me lately? I hope I remember to pick up James tonight.

But no matter how “off” I am this week, at least I didn’t make the dumb decision that one of our defendants was sentenced for today. He went to a salon and got a haircut, asked for recommendations on hair products, brought those to the counter, and instead of paying for the haircut and products, he pulled a gun and stole them as well as the lady’s purse. He probably “saved” about $50 on that spree, but because this is his 2nd strike and he’d used a gun, he was sentenced to 21 years in state prison for that conviction. Score! (Gun enhancements by California law adds 10 years, and 2nd strike doubles the sentence he would’ve gotten for the original count.) He’s only 28, so he’d be in his late 40s when he gets out. My bailiff pointed out to him, “Hey, you’ll be about my age when you get out. There’s still a lot of life left at that age.” The defendant asked my bailiff, really concerned-like, “Do you still have sex?” My bailiff laughed and exclaimed, “ALL the time!” The guy looked relieved.

Okay, back to work. That was a nice little 20 minute break.