cindy's world

You know how the Brothers Grimm’s fairy tales are so…50’s? Poor abused and neglected pauper girl gets swept off her feet by a prince who sees the “true beauty” behind the dirt and marries her and pays off her credit card debt and she’s spoiled forevermore? Made you wish you had a guy to clean up after you, huh? Of course that’s not real, that’s a fairy tale!

I got this updated version via email yesterday:

~ * ~

World’s Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry
me?” The girl said “No” and she lived happily ever
after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends,
always had a clean house, never had to cook, had
closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and
was never farted on.

The End

~ * ~

From my coworker Michelle:

Did you know that …

A group of apes is called a shrewdness; hummingbirds are a charm; blue jays are a scold; jellyfish are a smack; cobras are a quiver; crows are a murder; parrots are a company; nightingales are a watch; mice are a mischief; crocodiles are a congregation; owls are a parliament; (and my personal favorite) lizards are a lounge.

Just in case you get a chance to be on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, you will know those answers.

“My loyalty is with you,” she informed me yesterday. I didn’t respond to it, although she said she needed me to know that. But the reason it didn’t bowl me over is because I already knew that. She showed it all the time through her actions. Her simple statement to me didn’t even register until late last night. I was in front of my bathroom mirror plucking little unruly hairs, and my brain zapped my consciousness back to the days when loyalty was the thing most lacking from my friendships. I wouldn’t say my friends were catty, just young and selfish. There was a time when my closest female friend gave me her ear and her shoulder so that I could cry to her all the frustrations I had about a boy I liked, all the information I had about him, only to use what she learned through me to land him herself. There was a time when all the considerations and extra favors I did for my friends were not reciprocated when the opportunities arose for them to help me out or give me a heads-up. There was a time when I felt utterly alone, sad that I could trust no one. Pages and pages of teenage poetry testify to a disillusioned depression. This is why my friends are selected carefully today, and why I’d do so much for them. If I feel like someone is taking advantage of me, I’m sensitive to it. Sure I am. It’s all too familiar. But the people I surround myself by large are people I trust, and it has been this way for so long now that I don’t even think twice when one proclaims her loyalty to me. I hope I can live up to the kind of friendship that the wonderful people around me now give me.

Hey! I just noticed the “Post Password” window/function at the top of my editor! Just for fun, I’m gonna test it. The password is “wowzers”. Go ahead and try it for the next post, “The Costco Curse.”

(Public records will reflect all this information and more, but I’m redacting names and other identifying information anyway.)

Girl1 files a petition for a restraining order against Girl2, which was heard in my court this morning.

Girl1’s petition says she doesn’t know Girl2, but that Girl2 has been harassing her through the mail, Girl1’s work phone, home phone, and cell phone. Girl1 assumes that Girl2 got her address through a search and got her phone numbers through Girl2’s husband’s cell phone statements. (Hmm.) Girl1’s only actual contact with Girl2 was through phone calls made by Girl2 (allegedly 60+ calls), but Girl1 has a tape recording of some messages left by Girl2 (“slut” this and “slut” that, “your parents must hate you,” etc.) which she brought to court today, and a letter that Girl1 says Girl2 mailed to Girl1’s entire block of neighbors. She brought the letter with her today, too.

Girl2 filed a response, saying that Girl1 had conveniently failed to mention in her papers that Girl1 had initiated an affair with Girl2’s husband of 20 years, and that Girl1 knows of Girl2’s existence from that. I’ll now refer to Girl2 as “Wife,” to help make this less confusing. Wife admits to having contacted Girl by phone, saying after she found out about the affair, her husband had given her Girl’s phone number and “encouraged” her to call Girl with any questions. Wife admits to having called Girl obscenities in these phone calls, but claims she did not threaten Girl, nor call 60+ times, nor send any letters, nor did she know Girl’s address and other information. Wife said she doesn’t want to meet, learn anything about nor have anything to do with Girl, as Wife and her husband are reconciling and want to just put the affair behind them.

Wife did not come to court to defend herself today. Girl testified tearfully, saying she wants to apologize to Wife for the pain she cause in Wife’s marriage, but that the harassment has gone way above and beyond. The letter that Girl brought is apparently a folded bulk-mail type flyer with Girl’s address as the sender, and her neighbor’s address as the recipient, addressed to “RESIDENT”. Except this one letter, along with a few others, were returned by the post office as undeliverable, which is how Girl came to find out about these letters. It says:

Hi my name is [full name], I am your neighbor and I live at [street address]. I just want to let you know that I love having sex with married men, and I love giving head.
I am a desperate 38 year old home wrecker. Give me a call. Are you gonna come lay with me tonight?
Hm – [home #]
Cell – [cell #]
Are you gonna come lay with me tonight?

Girl describes, through her tears, how her phones ring off the hook with strange men calling, asking inappropriate personal questions, and she’d see strange men drive by her house, looking in her property, and she feels unsafe in her home. She doesn’t know if these are friends of Wife’s or if they’re people who’ve received the flyer, or both, but believes at least some of the rude and vile phone calls are from friends of Wife’s.

She did get the restraining order granted, but only for 1 year instead of the maximum 3, and it was just a no-contact order since there was no proof that Wife ever physically approached Girl.

Geez. Is this karma?

Oh, look. It’s before 1pm and Cindy’s blogging. What’s she doing in front of a computer instead of behind some gym equipment?, you may be wondering. A coworker I passed coming into the building earlier asked me that, too.

The fact is that I did go to the gym. After the judge ran late into lunch, after he didn’t get off the bench until past noon, I had to have him approve and sign a Restraining Order for a case earlier this morning (which I couldn’t do until after he got off the bench since he went right into our trial and ran late), then make copies and explain to the person waiting what to do with the copies. And then driving to the gym, I got stuck behind a car trying to make a left into a building from the left lane (not a left TURN lane, but the left lane), and I couldn’t change lanes to the right lane because of all the cars going by on the lane to my right. FINALLY, he turned and of course by then I missed all the lights. So I waited and waited, and when the light finally turned green, I couldn’t go because half a block away two ambulances were wailing their way over to cross my path. So I had to wait for them instead of turn. And when I finally make it to the gym, I got in the locker room, got undressed, put on my sport bra, my tanktop, and then dug around in my workout bag for…nothing. I didn’t bring workout pants or shorts. DAMN it. So I got redressed and decided to go salvage my lunchtime by grabbing something to eat. I checked my wallet. I have one dollar. So here I am, having a protein cookie that I had stashed away in the file cabinet, drinking water, and blogging.

If I’m really, really good, I’ll go to the gym tonight after I do my and my parents’ taxes.

YIKES!! What happened to Monday’s blog post??? Did I not post one?! How unlike me.

Yesterday after work I finally utilized my annual pass and went to Disneyland. It was insanely crowded. In line for the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, I wailed, “Why are there so many people here? It’s a freaking weekday!” A father holding the hand of his 8 year old son turned and said, “It’s spring break right now for a lot of schools.” “Really? This early?” He complained also, “That’s why I’m here! It’s MY idea, no one else is supposed to have the same idea!” I said, “I know! That’s how I feel!”

So not only were there a ton of people and my favorite — kids — we lined up for Space Mountain, and 40 minutes in, the ride broke and we ditched the line and reached the outside of the building just as it came back up and functioning (so we forfeited the ride); we then lined up for The Matterhorn Bobsleds and actually did get to ride that; next we lined up for my favorite ride, the Indiana Jones Adventure, and 20 minutes into that line, that ride malfunctioned and we left at that announcement; and lastly we lined up for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and rode that. 50% success rate. I wonder why I don’t go to Disneyland more often.

I have a whole new living room! I took my parents’ leather couch and loveseat and rearranged my living room to accomodate them. Then we dropped off my old couch at Goodwill where I picked up a tax deduction. I really like my house now. It feels new and fresh and has great new seating areas.

Mom: I like your haircut. It’s a good look for you.
Me: This haircut cost me fourteen dollars.
Mom: *thoughtful pause as she studies me* It’s worth it.

Haha, Asian moms.

Oh yeah. I thought about hiding the pornos before the ‘rents came in. But I figured, eh, they’re on the DVD tower thingie along with a ton of other DVDs. (That’s part of the beauty of being a bachelor[ette]. Porn on display with all the other wares.) What’re the chances they’re gonna look, anyway? It’s behind the front door when I leave it open, and we’re gonna be busy moving furniture. Go figure, I’m in the foyer vacuuming and then I hear from the living room my mom’s voice: “Ooh, Cindy has lots of movies! I didn’t know she has so many movies! We can borrow some from her.” She must’ve spent like 10 minutes looking through the titles as I panicked internally in my own head. I made irrelevant comments to try to deter her from the movies, but alas, she could not be distracted. I hoped that she wouldn’t figure out how to rotate the DVDs as the porn section was on the lower part that’s against the wall. All I know is that she never said anything, but did abruptly stop looking and then walked away without another comment about borrowing movies or anything relating to her movie hunt. =/

Today, after a hard workout and a pow-wow in the steam room, I weighed myself on the sliding weights scale AND at home on my digital bodyfat scale after a Black Angus prime rib dinner, and I’m STILL in the 120s! Yay! That means that after I debloat, I’ll be in the low 120s, and then I’m back on track to before I gained weight due to my inability to work out those 2 weeks I was deathly ill.

People have been reminding me to turn my clock forward an hour at 2am Sunday morning, which is in a few hours. I always rely on other people telling me to know when to spring forward and fall back, so it was news to me that it’s actually 2 weeks early this year. Really? Why change it? Cuz now we’re not gonna match up right internationally, since everyone globally is expecting us to maintain this time standard for another couple weeks. I’m glad I don’t work in a job where I have to deal with the technical problems this will cause on the computers and international stock trade.