cindy's world

I just got a call from the vet regarding Dodo’s Saturday lab test results. (I love this vet, btw; she’s so pleasant and loving, always very responsive, seems very sharp, and loooves Allie and always asks about her. BTW, she’d also recommended the sleep book, “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, and I told her I was already using it.) Dodo’s kidney values are down to the NORMAL range! AND…his red blood cell count has gone up a few percent, so that’s great. He also hadn’t lost any weight between this visit and the last one. It’s been about a week since he vomited bile (just this morning, in fact) so I hadn’t given him the antacid meds, altho I’d received it mid-week last week, and she said that’s fine, I can use it when the bile vomit gets more frequent. She wasn’t able to get his blood pressure on Saturday because their doppler broke, but going by his test results, Dodo’s doing well. She said it’s surprisingly good news given that he’s an old cat with severe polycystic kidneys, but apparently the core of the kidneys are doing their job filtering. The reduced protein diet helped (so the kidneys don’t have to filter as hard) and the blood pressure meds helped (so the “firehose blasting through a weak strainer” analogy no longer applies). Since the yowling has reduced, he must be getting less headaches, too.

I noticed that Dodo seems to be a little constipated. He strains in the litter box and scoots a little in there. Over the weekend he strained with no results, came out, drank water, went back, tried again and got poopies out. This morning, same thing. I’ve never heard a cat do little soft mewing grunts before, and it’d be cute if it weren’t so sad. The vet said that this is “normal” considering the kidney disease, because his kidneys are using every spare drop of water to do their jobs. This makes his poop harder. If it becomes a big issue, we can treat that symptom with stool softener meds. *picturing Dodo with one of those old-people multi-tiered pillboxes*

I asked how she thought Dodo would do if he’s unmedicated for a few days while we go on this road trip. She hesitated and said that she certainly wouldn’t recommend it because we’ve made such great headway in treating his kidney disease symptoms, and I agree, but I don’t see that the stepdaughter is able to medicate Dodo twice a day. She’s uncomfortable around cats because she hasn’t had much exposure to them, and when we were in Europe when Dodo got sick, Ann found out just how scared of picking up Dodo the stepdaughter was. I think people assume all cats scratch and bite, altho Dodo doesn’t. Anyway, fighting down a struggling cat and squirting meds in his mouth twice a day is going to be a little much for the stepdaughter, I believe, assuming she’s able to get up in the mornings to do this, and will be around at nights to do it again (we rarely see her at home). So the vet offered another alternative: the vet hospital technicians do house calls! I spoke to the office manager and she agreed to come by the house for $10 a visit to medicate Dodo when we’re gone. Now I’ll have the peace of mind to know Dodo is getting medicated effectively and on time.

I love this vet clinic.

I had a traumatic day and I can’t blog about it right now as it’s too late and I need to try to sleep. In a nutshell, Laura is no longer the nanny and she made it extremely difficult for me and left non-physical claw marks on me. However, my priority HAS to be the baby. I really liked one of the KinderCares I visited, and I would be comfortable placing Allie there; I would still prefer she be older, however. I have cried way too much today and have been slammed into the wall (figuratively) too dizzying much today and I’m still nauseated. Hoping for things to be better for everyone tomorrow.

My cousin Jennifer just had to let their nanny go last week. I was surprised, because this nanny took care of Jennifer’s sister’s baby, Elle, for years. I knew communication was difficult between my cousin and the nanny, since the nanny spoke very little English. Jennifer figured she’d just use Google Translate and write sentences in English and then show her the Spanish translation, and the nanny can do the same back from Spanish to English, but another blow when she found out the nanny’s illiterate in Spanish. So I asked Jennifer what happened. Turned out Jennifer noticed the nanny seemed to be gone, along with the baby, all day on Thursdays (thanks to nanny cams). Jennifer had told her it was okay to take the baby on a stroller walk in their big complex and common areas, but not to leave the gated community. You wouldn’t think that’s a problem since the nanny doesn’t drive anyway. But where do they go for hours? Jennifer asked the nanny early on, upon her return on such a Thursday, and the nanny just said they went to take a walk. But it kept happening, all day, on Thursdays. Jennifer finally took an afternoon off and went home around 3:30p last Thursday to see what was going on. The home was empty. She walked around the whole area looking for them. Nope. She waited at the community’s gate for HOURS. Finally, a white pick-up truck drove thru and she saw her nanny in there. Mind you, the nanny does not have a car seat for the baby. Jennifer confronted her and she said something about having lunch, going to a store, but the area they live have nothing like that within walking distance. But the bottom line is, the nanny lied about not leaving the community, lied about where she’s been every Thursday, and disregarded Jennifer’s original rule about not taking the baby out of the residential community. She claimed (through translation by an out-of-state daughter via phone) that she’d only taken the baby walking and that “Jose” saw them passing by and picked them up to give them a ride. Who was Jose? If the cops had stopped them for a baby not being in a carseat, then took the child into protective custody, how in the world would they begin to identify the baby? How would Jennifer know where to begin looking for her child when she came home if something happened? They thought about it and knew they couldn’t trust this nanny again; they just weren’t going to be comfortable with leaving the baby with her again.

I offered Jennifer my online nanny site access so she could look around. I knew there were nannies in her area; a lot of nannies who contacted me live in her city. She and her husband had gone around in a mad rush to find a daycare without a long wait list to put their baby in starting today, and I knew that was not something either of them actually want. “But I’m not sure if I can trust a nanny again,” Jennifer said. She told me about her boss, who was on their 3rd nanny for their kid. With the first nanny, the husband got a call from their cleaning people saying it was odd that a lot of their personal belongings are sitting inside their luxury car at home, and suggested he come home ASAP. By the time the husband got home, the nanny had stolen a bunch of their stuff AND the car and was across the country. I’m not sure what happened with the second nanny, but now they’re on their third.

I REALLY hope my nanny issues were just early on, and that we have a long loving relationship with Laura and her family ahead.

The vet called and we spoke for about 20 minutes.

Dodo does not have hyperthyroidism, which surprised her because of his great appetite. He does, however, have Stage 2 Kidney Disease. Kidneys do fine with 60% of its function remaining; if he drops below that, it requires some medical intervention, although there is no cure. Dodo’s right at or under 60% so there are markers of the disease in his tests. There’s extra protein in his blood, which means the kidneys aren’t filtering that out as they should be. He’s got concentrated potassium in his urine, which means the kidneys are not retaining it and is letting it pass out in his urine. He’s also anemic, and the kidneys are the organs that send the signals to the bone marrow to produce red blood cells. The anemia isn’t too bad, but it’s there. So the treatment will be 2 oral meds — one twice a day, one once a day, to supplement potassium, and to lower his blood pressure. High blood pressure adds strain to the kidneys so it progresses the disease faster. I asked for the meds in suspension liquid form so Dodo won’t spit it out (or as much of it). I’m going to have to squirt meds twice in him before work and once after work, or vice versa, for the rest of his life. His life expectancy at this point is something like 2 years, which isn’t too bad considering he’s 14, so at 16, he’s got a longer life than a lot of other cats without kidney disease. He’s also going to have to be on a prescription low-protein diet, which the vet’s office sells, so I’ll have to pick up a bag later when I run errands when the cleaning people are here.

I asked for symptoms to anticipate. She said as he progresses to stage 3-4, if the blood pressure remains high, he could have a stroke and in cats, it usually paralyzes their hind leg(s). If the blood pressure is fine, then as the disease progresses and his kidneys fail to filter out what it needs to, Dodo will have more protein buildup in his blood, which will make him nauseated. Then he’d eat a lot less, and may throw up more often. His only visible symptom so far has been the “increased vocalization,” as the vet puts it clinically. He’ll also continue to drop weight. He was down 0.7 lbs since he as last in there, and his weight had been declining for the past 3-4 years. She’s happy and surprised he’s eating so well, so that may be a good sign of his vitality. She said every patient is different; once they hit stage 3-4, some pets surprise them and with continued treatment (such as fluid shots under the skin), live another 6 months.

I keep thinking that if he has to be put down in a couple of years, that’s old enough for Allie to miss him. I think about how I’ve had him since he was 3. I think about how resentful I was at his yowling, when the yowling is really a sign that he’s uncomfortable — the ONLY sign he gives. No peeing/pooing outside his litterbox in protest, no bothering us, no scratching other things, just doing his own thing and yowling when he’s on his own. Even last nite, I was able to pet him after just one yowl and he’d calm down, purr, and settle next to my side of the bed and curl up and sleep. I’d known he was going to die or have to be put down at some point since I’ve had him, but I didn’t think about it much because it would send me into a panic. I was just hoping the decline of his life wouldn’t be due to some horrible progressive disease. Now it looks like we know what’s going to take him.

God, I’m such a crappy cat-mom.

I lost it on Dodo early this morning. He used to only do the loud yowling once or twice a night. Now, it’s day a couple of times, and at night it’s every 3 hours. Last night, for example, it was 9pm, 12am, 3am, 5am. He would leave our room where he’s sleeping and go downstairs to eat/drink. Then he’d start the ruckus from the living room, going and going coming up the stairs, and stand on the stairway landing outside the baby’s room and yowl there, too. Then he’d come back in our bedroom, do it some more, then go under our bed, yowl another good 6-7 times from there. It’s gotten worse and worse, and now I’m not able to interrupt his caterwauling, either. I’ve started closing our bedroom door almost completely at night to keep him in, so that if he starts yowling, at least it’s insulated from the baby’s room somewhat. But he’s learned to open the door if it’s not closed all the way.
Despite my fear that I can’t hear the baby cry through 2 closed doors, I’ve had to close our bedroom door last night. He started yowling by the door and Mr. W let him out so Dodo would shut up and let us get some sleep, but that means my resuming what I used to do to try mitigate the noise; I’d hear Dodo yowl, then I’d rush out of bed to usher Dodo back in our room, close the door behind him, so that his yowling wouldn’t occur on the stairs and outside the baby’s room to wake Allie up. Now Dodo won’t come in the bedroom right away, though; he’d actually try to lure us out by yowling far enough away and running back toward his food if we came after him. I was prepared to be up every 3 hours with a hungry newborn, not for an annoying cat when the baby is sleeping through the night (except when woken up by the yowling). Mr. W has started getting up and starting his day at 3am because of the cat.
This morning at 5:20am, Dodo kept at it despite having already done a round of it at 5am, and I just lost it. I ran him into the room, he kept yowling, and I angrily lowered my face down to his and loudly hissed, “SHHHH! SHUSH!@#$ STOP THAT! STOOOOP!” Dodo jumped up a little, looked at me, and went right back into it when he got to the other side of the bed. I leaned over the bed and whisper-yelled again, “STOP IT! STOP IIIIIIIT!!!” waving my arm at him so hard it hurt afterwards. Dodo didn’t stop; he kept right up with it under the bed. I was so pissed my stomach hurt and I laid there unable to go back to sleep for a long time.

I almost texted Vanessa or Karen to see if they would like a free Scottish Fold that they already know and love.

Being a mom means discovering skills and strengths in yourself you never knew you had. They say you don’t know how strong you are until you have to be.

Last night, I assembled three separate breast pumps in the dark in minutes. That’s 8 + 5 + 5 = 18 little parts! =P

…thank you for knowing the difference between what I want, and what I need. And thank you for always giving me what I need, especially when it’s in direct conflict with what I want.

It’s amazing what you can get done between diaper changes and feedings…as long as they can be done on the phone.

Last day to pay property taxes before late penalties is today, and when we refinanced our house to take advantage of lower interest rates, the mortgage company insisted on taking money out for a tax impound account. Last week, Mr. W and I both paid property taxes online for our separate rental properties, and then this weekend he thought to check on our house’s tax status. It showed “unpaid.” Weird, because when he checked our mortgage’s impound account online, it reflected that the correct amount of property tax was taken out of the impound account to pay taxes on November 17. Where has the money been for the past month? Both our rental properties already have a status of “paid,” so we know the tax website is updated. It was unnerving to see this on a weekend when nothing could be done and no one could be contacted until the next weekday. This morning after our pediatrician appointment, I actually managed to find a live person calling the mortgage company. She investigated the situation and confirmed that a consolidated check (which I gather means they paid for multiple properties with one check) was sent out to the tax collector in November, but that the check is still “pending.” The parcel number for the property is correct. She opened up a request for the tax people to call them to see why the check hasn’t cleared after all this time, and assured me that with the check number and a date/time stamp for receipt of the check from the tax people in the mortgage company’s records, we would not be charged a late penalty.

I also received a text from Maggie’s awesome husband Tom, whom I’ve burdened this month with practically being the management for my rental property. With his professional contractor connections, he’s been coordinating, supervising, liasoning, even participating in getting my property ready for the next renter. Josh and his wife moved out earlier this month and the next renters, a coworker with her adult son, are ready to move in at the end of the month. That gives a couple of weeks for a contractor to repair the drywall on the ceiling where it’d been leaking every rain since the flatroof had been done and scrape the popcorn off the ceilings to replace with ceiling textures, patch the nail holes on the walls, and for another painting contractor to paint everything. The problem was that the roofing company which did the flatroof, despite coming out many times after significant ceiling leaks from rainfalls, kept insisting that the leaks weren’t coming from their work on the flatroof; they say it’s coming from the composite shingle sections. Tom, however, took advantage of the rain today and crawled into the ceiling “attic” section and found the leak. It was coming from the flatroof section, he said 4 feet from the composite roof sections, which were totally dry. I called the roofing company as my roof was still under their warranty, told them the same leak is recurring, and where Tom described it was coming from. The receptionist remembered me and said they knew exactly where it was coming from — the drain. I said no, not according to my contractors. I explained the situation about the work being put on hold while the ceiling leaked, and hearing the house is vacant, the roofing company offered to go there immediately to check out the leak. Within half an hour, I received a call from Bobby, the roofer guy. He was at the property, had gotten in and seen the ceiling hole, the ladder set up to go in there, and the bucket holding the drippage, and he said he still thinks the leaks are coming from the composite roof and not their work. “Maybe your contractors didn’t know that the composite roof extends out over that section,” he said. It sounded like he didn’t go up in there the way Tom had so he didn’t see what Tom did. Bobby said he wanted to bring someone back with him later today or tomorrow morning so he could have one guy on the roof while he tapped on the ceiling at the leak site to figure out exactly what was above the leak — flatroof or composite roof. “He is wrong,” Tom texted when I told him what the roofer said. “I could see the entire comp section starting at the transitional metal flashing and it was dry. Leak was on flat roof side of mansart. Possible seam leak where it curves up onto wall?” I’m sure Tom’s right, but if Bobby needed to be proven wrong to himself, I was going to let him. He’s aware all workers have been told to stand down and work halted until the leak could be repaired, so that the ceiling could be closed, so that painting could be done, and people could move in.

I also made appointments at Kaiser’s optometry department for me and Mr. W. Unfortunately, along with a $10 copay, there is a $80 mandatory fitting fee for contacts, and Kaiser won’t release contact prescriptions until they know the contacts have been properly fitted. I’m trying to find a live person to speak to at the optometry department at Costco cuz I think even with an eye exam paid for out-of-pocket, they can beat $90.

Our crib people seem to have forgotten they still owe us the railings and accessories that will turn Allie’s crib into a toddler bed. Mr. W called the company and they’re going to try to deliver the missing pieces later this week.

On top of my productive phone calls, I also received a phone call from the fertility doctor’s nurse, checking up on my delivery, asking whether the baby ended up being a boy or girl, and asking for details to relay back to the doctor. She said the doctor remembers his patients and would love to see photos, and to meet Allie. She invited us to come by after Allie’s had her 2-month vaccinations. Meanwhile, I promised to mail them a birth announcement, which I designed and ordered the end of last week and should be receiving this week. I would recommend that fertility clinic to anybody. Everyone I know who has gone there got pregnant first shot. Excellent customer service, as well.

Dear Allison,

Rather than continuously hip-checking me from the inside, if you’re squirmy because you want more space, you know where the exit is.

Thanks.

Your mom

Cindy, age 6 or 7: Mom, is giving birth like pooping?
Cindy’s mom: What do you think?

I never got an answer from her. She proceeded to ignore me and my further inquiries, so I filed the question away in my “Things you’ll find out when you’re a grownup” mental drawer. (There was a lot of stuff in that drawer.) And now, the answer will come any day.

I did get two interesting birth perspectives from women who had given birth both with and without epidurals, though. My cousin Olivia had her first one naturally, and her second with an epidural. She was adamant in talking with me that I should hold off on the epidural. She said the first birth, albeit painful, wasn’t beyond unendurable. She was expecting the worst given what everyone told her about childbirth, but everything went fine and it wasn’t that bad. Her second birth, she felt pressured by the doctor or staff present to get the epidural, so before she knew it, she was getting it. It prolonged her labor so much compared to the first birth, and she had such difficulty feeling anything to push, and it so slowed her recovery time, that she’s now convinced that the epidural is a big medical scam exploiting the fear of women so that insurance companies can collect money for the use of extra meds and an anesthesiologist, when it’s completely unbeneficial to the labor process.

The second story came from Mr. W’s coworker. She had her first with an epidural, had always planned on getting another epidural for the second child’s birth but missed the window. She went into labor on New Year’s Eve, there were people over at her house so there was a delay in getting ready to leave for the hospital. Also, her husband was out in a loooong In-N-Out Burger drive-thru line when she finally called him to ask him to come back as she thinks the contractions were such that she ought to go into the hospital. But he was stuck with cars all around him, he couldn’t back out and couldn’t pull forward, so he waited thru the line. By the time he got home, the contractions were so close together that they decided they didn’t have time to get to the hospital they’d planned to birth at, they would go to a closer hospital. But they got lost going to the closer hospital, fought in the car the entire way arguing over where to exit on the freeway and where to turn, and by the time she was admitted, she had the baby half an hour later. She was stunned at how smooth the second childbirth was, how much shorter the recovery time was (days compared to weeks), she loved that she was able to get up and walk around shortly after giving birth, and was happy to not have the week-long back pain at the epidural site that she had with the first birth.

It’s gonna be interesting.